Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 40)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 40 of 76

1. He doesn't like it.

   Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29966

2. Her face is okay, but-- Jesus! What --what are you doing here?

   Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29968

3. Get out! We need to do something. I'm thinking maybe a coup or we take Ryan hostage.

   Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29970

4. No, I'm not saying we do those things. I'm saying something like those things.

   Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29972

5. Excellent question.

   Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29974

6. Words will never be enough.

   Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29976

7. No, pictures are too interpretive.

   Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29978

8. Oh. Well, that--that's a great idea, Jim. Oh, I totally see your point. Okay, we'll talk to Michael directly. So uh, meeting is over, I guess. I'll see everyone upstairs.

   Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29980

9. C'mon. Guys. Psst, listen. Now is the time for action. I'm talking action--

   Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29982

10. Lunch.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30015

11. It's pony.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30026

12. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Give me the phone. Give me the phone.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30047

13. That's my client.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30049

14. Give me the phone.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30051

15. Give me the phone. Tell him Dwight Schrute wants to talk to him.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30053

16. Hi, Mr. Bart.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30055

17. Hey, it's Dwight here. Give me the phone.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30057

18. Dwight Schrute here. Hey, don't hang up.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30059

19. I know times are tough right now, and I laud your thriftiness. Ryan!

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30061

20. Ah! Mr. Bart! Ugh! [slams phone down[ I cannot believe you lost that account. He was my client for ten years!

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30065

21. You're a secretary! What do you know?

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30067

22. And you're a temp and I'm taking your phone. I'm confiscating this.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30069

23. We want our clients back or we quit, Michael.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30071

24. No, we gotta be deadly serious. We'll start our own paper company. The Schrute-Bernard-Lapin-Vance...Stanley Paper Company.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30077

25. Right.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30085

26. Gasp. Are you talking about a secret meeting?

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30089

27. I don't know that first things about secret meetings.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30091

28. I'll do--

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30093

29. I'll do the best I can.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30095

30. Deceit does not come easy to me.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30097

31. That's fair.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30111

32. Listen up, Flenderson. You're being weak and ineffectual. I'm cowboying this meeting, okay? Here are the new rules. Earth tones only. Also, women are forbidden to wear pants.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30158

33. No.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30160

34. That's debatable.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30162

35. Shut up.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30215

36. I got her!

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30216

37. I do.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30221

38. Erin, how many times do I have to tell you? It is not necessary for you to ask us how we are doing every time you interact with us.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30241

39. Now, how can I help you?

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30243

40. Attention, office. Who here is planning a trip to Youngstown, Ohio? I will take your silence to mean that you are all hiding something. This location is the Superior Court -

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30245

41. It is a big deal. Cause there's only a handful of reasons why someone would ever go to a courthouse in Ohio and not be charged with a crime. To claim an inheritance from a deceased relative. To obtain a learner's permit at age 14 and a half instead of 15. Erin, let me see your birth certificate.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30247

42. No.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30288

43. All work and no play makes Michael a dull boy.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30296

44. Hey! Hey, hey, hey! I got your text. Who's Phillip?

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30354

45. Who tipped you over? Was it Phillip?

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30356

46. Yeah. Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30363

47. What do you think history is?

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30365

48. Out of the way! Move it or lose it!

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30368

49. You want to get sick you go to the hospital.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30373

50. I'm gonna need two able bodied men.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30385

51. You comfy? Alright? Alright. Relax. Relax, ok?

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30398

52. Come on. Relax. The shirt wasn't doing you any favors. If my assessment in correct, you grind your teeth?

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30400

53. No kidding! She sits three feet from me. It's the most annoying thing. It's like children singing Christmas carols.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30402

54. Tell me where it hurts.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30413

55. Oh yeah. you've got a knot in your crest. This remedy has been passed down in my family for generations. and it always works. My grandfather was told that Diamond Dancer would never race again. they were wrong. He came in 9th in the Apple Creek Derby and his jerky came in 3rd the following year. A majestic beast. So fast. So tender.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30415

56. This is oil from the gland of an otter. It keeps their fur water resistant, as well as traps heat. Now I need you to lie still for an hour.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30426

57. Whoa! Whoa, whoa, girl. Whoa. Whoa.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30428

58. I'm gonna with the python.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30432

59. No. Please. I find the rattle soothing. It puts me to sleep.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30434

60. What's so funny?

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30436

61. Ordinarily I would say no but you need to move to reduce lactic acid build-up. Also, this song is fantastic.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30448

62. You can't steal what is legally your property.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30450

63. It is hard to imagine you playing softball.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30505

64. Oh yeah? Big deal. I once hit three home runs against Little Flower Catholic.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30507

65. I played high school softball. Notice I didn't say 'girls' high school softball. Not after the landmark case of Shrute vs. the Lackawanna County Board of Education.That was one case the Pennsylvania Supreme Court got right. I hit the ball right over the protest banners.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30509

66. Oh, no. I love Ohio. Next time you're there say 'Hi' to my cousin Amel and then kick him in the groin area because he's a cheat and a ball hog. And if he's still married to Clarissa, kick her in the groin area, too. 'Cause she's a heart breaking tart...and a ball hog.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30510

67. What do you need from me?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30515

68. Normally I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointment with the horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, I don't know. No, I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30516

69. Like clockwork.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30518

70. Bye Michael! Yeah!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30524

71. I'm gonna say 30.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30538

72. Good point, but, thought of that already. Combination SPF/repellent.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30540

73. Of course. You think the EPA would ever allow that much DEET?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30542

74. Rolph is my best friend. We met in a shoe store. I heard him asking for a shoe that could increase his speed and not leave any tracks.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30543

75. Listen up everyone! I've gone over this lineup very carefully. We cannot forget the humiliation we suffered last year at the softball game with Jim's whole spider-in-the-mitt incident. Right?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30568

76. Erin, back row. Ryan, you move up a row!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30570

77. Why? I don't understand.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30572

78. Woah, woah, woah. W-w-wait a minute. I get it. You want her to set you up so you can spike it.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30574

79. I'll tell you what, I'm gonna do you one better. I'm gonna put you next to Phyllis. She is the best setter on the team.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30576

80. Sly dog.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30578

81. Come on, folks!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30580

82. Ohh! Oh, Kevin! Come on!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30603

83. I could've gotten that, idiot!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30605

84. It's not a sledgehammer! Come on, people! We need to get our heads in the game! Let's focus! Come on, you're better than this! I am better than this! Phyllis, why are you sitting on the ground?!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30607

85. [grunts in frustration]

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30609

86. Oh come- Ryan, come on, man! W-w-wait. Net. Net. Her hand's on the net.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30610

87. Rule violation. Ball is ours. Give it to me. Our point. Okay. Hey, Pam, how ya doin? Hey, do you know if you're right-handed or left-handed? Or do you even know? What hand do you use to answer the phone?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30612

88. Yes! We advance to the next round!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30617

89. Hit it Andy!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30626

90. Don't set it to yourself!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30629

91. What happened?

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30632

92. You weren't even moving. Okay, sub!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30634

93. Okay, Rolph! Woah. Wait, wait-

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30657

94. Listen guys, one more point and we play corporate.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30663

95. Hey, people need volleyball now more than ever.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30709

96. Because if we don't play, then the other team wins.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30711

97. Okay, knock it off, Rolph.

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30719

98. Rolph, please. I am asking nicely-

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30721

99. Rolph, leave it alone!

    Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30723

100. Pam!

     Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30726