Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 42)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 42 of 76

1. She had a couple hundred dollars to spend, I mean, if she was able to sell her bike.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31747

2. Well, if this is in fact her because it is a very common name.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31749

3. What? No way!

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31767

4. Oh. God.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31769

5. You know what? I made you a cd...

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31771

6. Mmm-hmm.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31773

7. This is to play when you bring a woman back to your hotel room.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31775

8. You're gonna like this. 'Hello. This is Dwight Schrute. If you are listening to this you are a lucky woman Michael has seduced. Ah to be in your shoes. 'What's next?', you're probably wondering. Don't be scared of you're night in heaven--'

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31777

9. Yeah. It's practical.

   Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31779

10. The proximity to the falls makes everything smell like a basement.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31795

11. Dwight Schrute. I have a reservation. Confirmation number: Romeo. Tango. G7745.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31800

12. And I had spoken to Teresa about a room with two safes?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31802

13. Ok.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31804

14. No way. What if I meet someone?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31807

15. No. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31809

16. You would?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31811

17. Really?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31813

18. Wait a second. Oh. No, no, no. This must be some kind of mistake. This reservation seems to be under an M. Scott. This must be yours.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31815

19. Oh no. Now that I don't have a room, can I stay with you?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31817

20. Please?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31819

21. Mmm-hmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31821

22. Ok. Ok. A-ha-ha! That was a test. You have failed. For this is my room. You would not share with me.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31823

23. No you do not.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31825

24. It worked.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31827

25. From quarter three to quarter four up 17 percent, while his sales down two percent. It's all in the report.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31867

26. Excellent question. Because while I was busy trying to improve the company and make it a success, Jim... the bad man was busy kissing the boss man's butt.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31869

27. That's right. It is ew. It is very ew.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31871

28. It's just for family.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31897

29. Isabel Poreba. Oh, I've got stuff on her. In 1996 her tenth grade volleyball team went 10-2.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31899

30. That's a very good record.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31901

31. Knight Rider.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31913

32. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31915

33. Very smart.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31917

34. What? It's a casual, social outfit.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31992

35. No. They're howling at the moon. It's suggestive to women because of the howling during sex.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31994

36. I'm just worried about the farm, ya know? Mose hates to geld the horses by himself.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31999

37. Nine and three-quarters.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32002

38. I invented a device called 'Burger on the Go'. It allows you to obtain 6 regular size hamburgers, or 12 sliders, from a horse without killing the animal. George Foreman is still considering it. Sharper Image is still considering it. Sky Mall's considering it. Hammacher Schlemer is still considering it. Sears said, 'No'.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32003

39. Michael.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32005

40. Drop this one. Abort.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32007

41. I found twins.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32009

42. Aren't they magnificent?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32011

43. I love finding a good set of twins.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32013

44. Hey-O!

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32042

45. Congratulations.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32052

46. Oh my goodness.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32054

47. You'll have Pam to answer to.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32056

48. Jim... hey why don't you braid my hair. I want to watch TV.'

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32058

49. You have everything?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32087

50. Cell phone? Charger?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32089

51. It really is. I'm not hungry. I ate a whole bunch of sunflower seeds after you went to sleep. And besides, I wouldn't want to take you away from Pam on the morning of her wedding. She needs you Isabel.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32091

52. You know it.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32093

53. Okay, get out of here.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32095

54. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32097

55. Really? I hadn't noticed. Too busy knocking boots.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32099

56. I'm ravenous after a night of love making. You?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32101

57. Hey, what was she like?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32103

58. Brides side or grooms side? Or townie?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32105

59. No kidding.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32107

60. I bet she had hairy armpits.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32109

61. Isabel was nice, but I hope she doesn't think this is going anywhere.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32111

62. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32113

63. Oh please. Put a gun in my mouth.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32115

64. Look. She's a dental hygienist from Carbondale and she makes love like one. She's a bumpkin. Pass.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32117

65. You should ask her out.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32119

66. I got them a set of turtle boiling pots, a shell hammer and bibs.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32140

67. That was an intelligent comment.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32158

68. Oh. Fine. Isabel, nice to see you. What do you want?

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32160

69. So, uh tell me again the difference between Filene's and Filene's basement.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32162

70. Toby.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32213

71. I'd like to lodge a formal complaint against Jim for making us wait for over an hour.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32215

72. Crap. Come here you.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 32217

73. I think you're right. It definitely looks suspicious. And his southern Italian heritage raises some flags.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32279

74. Did he threaten you?

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32293

75. I knew it! More trunk space. Or should I say, corpse space.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32298

76. No, not that, by itself. But look at all the facts. He seems like a mobster.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32300

77. Exactly.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32306

78. No I disagree. 'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it 'murder.' And not 'muck-duck.'

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32323

79. Lock your door!

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32325

80. That's bad.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32339

81. That's bad.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32341

82. He's right. Cops can't do anything until a crime has been reported.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32346

83. You know what?

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32350

84. That's an exaggeration.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32352

85. No, criminals are like raccoons. Okay, you give 'em a taste of cat food pretty soon they'll be back for the whole cat.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32357

86. The only way to defeat a bully is to stand up to him. Trust me, I have bullied a lot of people.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32359

87. Here's what we do. We meet him in a public place. Ask him to lunch or something like that, some place he can't be openly violent.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32362

88. Let him know you're not the typical kind of guy that he can shake down. That you're stubborn. That you might even be a little bit dangerous.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32364

89. Do you know how to use it?

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32373

90. You're wearing loafers!

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32377

91. Hey. Bathroom checks out clean. Nothing behind the toilet except for this roach motel.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32381

92. You'll never kill it that way. You want to separate the head from the thorax-

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32384

93. Hello.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32391

94. Oh he's not that nice.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32415

95. What he's trying to say is, Gabba. Gool.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32428

96. Bring him the gabba-gool!

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32432

97. He was trying to force you to decide on a policy.

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32461

98. So we're choosing...

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32463

99. Check out Dental?

    Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32465

100. Don't do it!

     Season 6 · Episode 5 · Quote 32476