Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 38)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 38 of 76

1. Followed by a fifteen minute moment of silence.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28181

2. Jim! Enough with the classy, ok?

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28183

3. Michael, you're just agreeing with him because he's wearing a tux. Don't you see what he's doing here?

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28188

4. Oh, here's one: a string quartet, playing classy-cal music.

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5. Mr. Peanut is not classy.

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6. He is a regular peanut. He just happens to have a cane, a monocle and a top hat.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28196

7. Ok, how about this? An ice sculpture, shaped like you, covered in chocolate-covered strawberries.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28198

8. Well, I'm sorry, I just don't know what classy is then.

   Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28200

9. I said that!

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10. Originally founded in 1866, Scranton quickly became one of Pennsylvania's largest anthracite coal-mining communities.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28225

11. We'll finish it up later, but essentially what we're talking about is...

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28227

12. What about your party?

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28283

13. Ask him about the party.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28297

14. No the other thing.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28300

15. He hung up?

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28302

16. Oh, Michael, come on, no. You have to charm 'em.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28323

17. Hey there, gorgeous. How you doing today?

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28325

18. How's it hanging?

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28327

19. Good. Listen, my name is, uh, Michael... Scotch. And, uh, I just wanted to say that, uh, I've got David Wallace's son in the trunk of my car. If he doesn't get on this phone in 5 seconds-

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28329

20. Excellent.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28449

21. Any really good headhunter would storm your village at sunset with overwhelming force and cut off your head with a ceremonial knife,

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28503

22. Do you want me to translate the German instructions for you?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28590

23. Typical American ignorance that got us involved in a war we never should have been in. World War II.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28592

24. Deutsch... let me see here. That is either an incense dispenser, or a ceremonial sarcophagus.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28594

25. My German is pre-industrial and mostly religious.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28596

26. Your own paper company.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28628

27. Right...

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28630

28. What a courageous venture.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28632

29. Location is hard for me, with the farm and the responsibilities...

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28634

30. Okay. So yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28636

31. You know, I would love to put a pin in that.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28638

32. No.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28705

33. Hustle!

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28755

34. Way to go.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28764

35. What?

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28786

36. This is how I breathe.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28788

37. If you want to tell me -

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28790

38. Oh no! The new boss does not find Jim adorable! Ohhhh!

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28796

39. Really, Jim? I had no idea you played soccer. 'Cause you never, ever talk about it.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28886

40. Wow.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28888

41. You can be so modest sometimes.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28890

42. Maybe you and Charles should kick the soccer ball around.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28892

43. Maybe you will tonight after work. What do you say?

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28894

44. Great ideas are just part of what I bring to the table.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28896

45. I don't try and be anything that I'm not.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28898

46. Jim, what do you say?

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28900

47. Game on!

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28903

48. Wing.

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28984

49. Yeah, Jim. Why would an experienced soccer player like yourself duck at the very last moment?

    Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29020

50. Let me check. Oh nope! Clearly a hunter. Who knows how to throw an outfit together.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29078

51. Yes, I am taking Andy hunting after work. Not long ago we were sexual competitors. I used to hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him. I studied him, to figure out why I hated him so much. But that blossomed into a very real friendship, as these things often do.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29080

52. You know there's a ghost in this office

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29097

53. A woman was murdered on this very floor in 1816. Haddie McGonagle. She was a prostitute.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29099

54. Oh, this whole place used to be a brothel. There was a tavern on the ground floor.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29101

55. Yeah isn't it? She was bludgeoned to death by the business end of a riding crop.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29103

56. It was gruesome. They say she walks these hallways. If you ever feel a tapping on your shoulder?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29105

57. That could be Haddie. Begging for her life. And it could mean, that you're next.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29107

58. Just kidding. You finding everything okay?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29109

59. Yeah?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29111

60. Erin Erin...

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29113

61. Hey buddy.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29118

62. Hey buddy, what are you up to?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29157

63. Listen, when I saw you talking to Erin earlier, I noticed that your pupils dilated, and your skin flushed, and I'm assuming, a little bit of blood rushed into your penis.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29159

64. Well, a little bit of blood rushed into mine as well, so where does that leave us?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29161

65. And I, yours. So I will cede her to you.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29163

66. No no no.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29165

67. Look I just want you and I to hang out so, you know. Just, Boom.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29167

68. You're good.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29262

69. Oh it's good, you're coming along. It's really technically proficient but really there's no heart or soul in it.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29267

70. Hey you want to sing with me? Almost heaven...

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29269

71. In German! Leben ist dort alt, alter als die Baume, Junger als die Berge, wie eine Brise blasend

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29271

72. Take it Andy! Take me home, to the place I belong, Ba bah dah duh

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29273

73. Cherry Pie, Warrant.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29298

74. No! Really?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29300

75. Enter Sandman, Metallica.

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29302

76. Rebel Yell, Billy Idol

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29304

77. Really?

    Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29306

78. These sleeves are cutting off my circulation. Not enough blood getting to my hands.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29324

79. Doesn't Charles know he's compromising my attack readiness? It's not a dress code. It's a death sentence.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29326

80. Kay, thank you. It's a straight jacket! Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29328

81. When Michael was in charge, this place was like the Roman Empire. And the Wild West. And war-torn Poland. And Poland. There was just a lot going on, so what you wore to work was the least of anybody's worries. And in that chaos, I soared.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29329

82. Hey. Ed's Tires is thinking of making a change.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29331

83. They have some great kitchen ideas.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29333

84. It's small, I know.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29335

85. Thanks, Michael. Wait, what is this?

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29337

86. Wh- I don't need $6 to help a friend.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29339

87. Michael, you know I can't take this.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29341

88. But don't forget you owe me $10.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29343

89. Michael.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29345

90. You needed to speak to me?

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29363

91. I prefer to stand. Less blood clots.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29365

92. Do you mean compared to the ways things ran with other bosses? Comparisons are hard.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29367

93. Your concern is noted.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29369

94. Like a wolf. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29371

95. Really?

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29373

96. It's firm.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29375

97. I don't know that I can do that now. You know, uh, something's come up.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29377

98. No, Mose is fine. I roped it off. It's not about Mose. Listen, things are changing here, Michael, they're changing fast.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29379

99. Imagine... Someone has a personal hero they really wanna help. But then there's this new guy. Very cool, very Will Smith-esque, who would not like it if he helped his hero.

    Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29381

100. Good, do you see what I'm saying?

     Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29383