Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 41)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 41 of 76

1. Tell you what. I spotted a small hospital a few kilometers south of here. Get her back as soon as possible. I'll stall 'em.

   Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30742

2. Oh man, I am so mad that Pam got hurt! Argh!! Rrrraah!!! I'll get it.

   Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30746

3. Okay. Fine.

   Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30774

4. Except, you know what? It's not fine. How many people need to get hurt before we learn a valuable lesson? One? Two? Three? Four?

   Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30776

5. No, no, hear me out. Five? Six?

   Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30778

6. Seven? Can I finish please?

   Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30780

7. Eight?

   Season 5 · Episode 26 · Quote 30782

8. Extreme! Parkour!

   Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30787

9. [stands on his hands kicking open bathroom doors as Andy films, Meredith is seen applying deodorant in women's bathroom]

   Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30789

10. Andy! Leapfrog!

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30791

11. Yeah! Parkour! Parkour!

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30793

12. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30795

13. Jump over the camera! Jump over the camera!

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30797

14. Let's do it!

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30803

15. Good. Excellent. Thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30807

16. Yes. Umm... see those files behind Kevin's desk?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30809

17. Go put them all in random order.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30811

18. Then come back here for your next assignment concerning their order.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30813

19. Okay, let me finish this thought.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30837

20. He most definitely does. He's been asking her out repeatedly for weeks. She finally said yes. They went out on a group date the other night; apparently it went very well.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30839

21. People tell me things. I guess I have a face you can trust. I think it's because of my low cheekbones. And... boom. Okay, what is it, what can't I guess?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30841

22. Stanley's way past the middle of his life. Especially considering his height to weight ratio.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30862

23. Present these to the dean for credit. And, as a gift, I've attached my card. Call me any time of the day or night.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30971

24. Well now you can't call me at all. Problem solved.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30973

25. Look at the intern to your left. Now to your right. One of you will do exceedingly well in business, just unlimited potential. One of you will make a living, and nothing more. And one of you will make a great mother. It's up to you to choose which you want to be.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30975

26. Michael... You told people I use store-bought manure, when I showed you where my manure comes from. Hmm? Hmm?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31031

27. Who's the father?

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31064

28. Hmmm, interesting. How did the ladder end up on top of you, if you fell off of it?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31162

29. Oh really, I'm sorry I thought this was a free country. I didn't know we were in communist Sweden.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31164

30. Nnnnn, that's not... okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31166

31. I'm talking about... hmmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31168

32. So long Darryl, feel better... He's lying.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31171

33. Oh? From who, Dr. J? Look, you really need to investigate this. People don't just fall off of ladders.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31173

34. Since when have you known Darryl to rush to do anything other than to come up here for birthday cake? Y'all having birthday cake?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31175

35. Please... and how many foremen do you know that pull boxes?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31177

36. It just doesn't add up.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31179

37. Nah, that's a GE. A P40 is much higher pitched.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31226

38. I have been my whole life.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31228

39. I'm rebuilding a turn of the century steam engine in my slaughter house.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31230

40. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31232

41. Yeah, it's just a run of the mill slaughter house, but sure anytime.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31234

42. Wa... wa... wait , someone's coming.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31236

43. Here, get down! He's not using crutches! Get the camera!

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31238

44. Oh, worker's comp, my ass!

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31240

45. Toby...

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31242

46. Ooohhh... Oh man! You okay?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31244

47. I need to see your pupils. I need to see if they're dilated.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31294

48. We thought that she was you.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31299

49. Are you... are you serious? Be... cause you look exactly alike. Am I the only one? Are you getting this?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31301

50. Aww, Darryl.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31304

51. Wait! They're using the lift as their own personal elevator.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31320

52. He broke his ankle climbing over the railing and he lied about it because it was a misuse of company equipment, case closed.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31322

53. Really? Then why is there new wood only on one railing? Hmmm? We should check the security tapes Toby.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31324

54. Yes!

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31327

55. Now, I would like to file an official complaint to corporate because Darryl lied on an official form.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31329

56. Phhhht. No judge is gonna believe that...

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31331

57. Okay people, listen up, I have an announcement to make, fraud was committed...

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31358

58. I'm... I was making it.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31360

59. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31367

60. Could you please sign my expense report?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31384

61. Sign this.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31386

62. Sign it.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31388

63. Idiot.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31390

64. I have a complaint about Jim.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31391

65. I would like to file a huge, enormous, massive complaint about the tallest guy in our office.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31393

66. Jim won't sign my expense report.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31395

67. No, that is huge.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31397

68. This has to do--

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31399

69. I'd like to lodge a complaint.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31401

70. You!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31403

71. One minute ago.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31405

72. Angry.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31407

73. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31409

74. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31411

75. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31413

76. Wait, stop writing that. That is not true.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31415

77. I'm not cr-- uhh!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31417

78. I deserved that promotion, not Jim. Oh, man. Makes me want to put him in a triangle choke hold and force him down to the ground and just keep pressing and pressing. And then flip him over and then put him in a hammer lock! And he's gasping, he's panting! Every last breath! And the crowd is going crazy. And boom! I emerge victorious! Aha! $18,000 and a chance at the title! Ooh hah!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31418

79. This is ridiculous! How could he do this to us?!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31581

80. What about all these people, huh?! How is it fair to them?!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31583

81. Her kid needs shoes, Jim!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31591

82. And Jim!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31616

83. I think it was Creed.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31618

84. People are starting to notice how terrible Jim is. It's great. Eventually, they'll rise up and revolt. My only hope is that they do it sooner rather than later. If the people here were our founding fathers, the Revolutionary War would have been delayed ten years, because Stanley Washington was napping, and Phyllis Hancock was still signing the declaration, and Kevin Jefferson was distracted by a butterfly.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31632

85. Come on in. That's right. Come in, feast your eyes. They determine our worth by putting beans upon our faces.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31633

86. Things were not this bad when just Michael was manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31635

87. Are we idiots? What right does Jim have to claim authority, hmm? Is he as good a salesman as I? Is he as matronly as Phyllis? There are moments where we can affect change. For a few seconds every decade, we exist, and these are those seconds! Let us storm his castle! Come on! Tick-- let's get him. Tock-- let's get Jim! Tick-- and drag Jim out of his office! Tock-- take his keys away from him! Tick-- that's a clock! The time is getting very close! It's now or never! What say you?!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31651

88. No, I mean, what do you say to my plan? Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Quote 31653

89. Pam is constantly throwing up because of the pregnancy. If she eats something the fetus doesn't like she is screwed. It's amazing. A three ounce fetus is calling the shots. It's so bad ass.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31689

90. Oh, gee, I'm sorry. I guess I missed the meeting where we all all voted for you to get pregnant. No! I reserve the right to peel my hard-boiled eggs at my desk.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31692

91. Come on. You've got to be kidding me.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31707

92. We'll see.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31720

93. But you can say that about anything.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31729

94. What happens in accounting, stays in accounting.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31731

95. It's easy. That's what I'm saying.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31734

96. I stole the guest list from Jim's desk and I search engined every female on both sides of the family.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31737

97. Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31739

98. For instance, Pam's cousin, Jocelyn Webster.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31741

99. Two years ago she was selling a mountain bike.

    Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31743

100. Well... she was really into mountain biking but not so much lately.

     Season 6 · Episode 4 · Quote 31745