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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 97)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 97 of 122

  1. I do believe that the game is a big hit. People are really diving into their characters.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33715

  2. Sir, there has been a murder, and you are a suspect.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33718

  3. Very good, very good. Now, no one was there in the wine cellar.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33720

  4. Whoa. What's this strange Yankee accent coming out of your mouth, son? This here's Savannah.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33739

  5. No no no no no no no. I'm going to skip forward to a relevant clue. Here we go.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33742

  6. Are you going to believe that? That is a mis- that's a misdirection. We still don't know who the murderer is. Nellie Nutmeg, come back in here. I can't do this myself. Voodoo Mama Juju... what am I gonna do?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33745

  7. I do believe you have me mistaken, my name is Caleb Crawdad. Y'all skedaddled way too soon. We need to reopen this case.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33753

  8. No it ain't.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33755

  9. I already declared you, it was too dark to tell.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33770

  10. This is not a game, this is my life. You are out of order, sir.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33772

  11. You are out of order.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33774

  12. You are-

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33776

  13. Deb, what in the world - do you have the vapors?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33783

  14. Can't wait, we have to get you to our witch doctor right now. Come on. Come on.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33785

  15. To Mama Juju Boo Boo.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33787

  16. Because this is the recreation of a crime scene.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33789

  17. No Michael here, my name is-

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33793

  18. No, you shut up. They need this game, Jim. Let us have this stupid little game, alright?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33796

  19. Oh, you startled me. My stars, my heart nearly leapt out of my chest. What can I do you for?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33797

  20. Detective Wallace?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33799

  21. Aw, shucks, tell him I'm not here.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33801

  22. No, I only answer to Detective Wallace 'cause I got a warm body in the other room.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33803

  23. A murder, you say? I do declare.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33818

  24. Get in there!

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33824

  25. There has been a lot of murder and a lot of intrigue. My little heart can barely take it no more. Today is the hardest I have worked in a long, long time.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33826

  26. On the count of three we're all going to put down our guns.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33830

  27. We'll put down our weaponry on the count of three, you ready?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33832

  28. One, two, three..

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33834

  29. Ok. Ok. How 'bout this?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33863

  30. I want it to be better than 'Great', Pam. How 'bout I remain seated... and I just do a little bit of a nod. Sort of a humble thing.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33865

  31. Nope. Then my face is down. They can't see my face.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33867

  32. Alan Brand is the CEO of the company, if title's important to you, has personally invited moi to go to New York to the shareholder's meeting and sit up on the stage with the board of directors. And at some point they are going to introduce me as the most successful branch manager that they have. And then Michael Scott turns and waves to the crowd... and the crowd goes wild.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33869

  33. Ok. Obviously I'm not going to do the twirl. I only did it because I nailed the wave.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33876

  34. I am not going to do the twirl. Alright? It's not even a twirl, it's a spin. I might do the spin.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33878

  35. Ok, Oscar, I don't need the whole enchilada just the bullet points.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33880

  36. Well, could you condense it please?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33882

  37. It's not a limo. It's a town car. Town cars are actually better, though. Better torque. Better handling.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33885

  38. They sent a limo.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33888

  39. Town cars suck. Town car is something that a company sends when they're in trouble. A limousine is something that a company sends when they have cause for celebration. And in this case I think we are celebrating me.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33889

  40. Oh, wait. Wait. Wow. Wow! Oh, no way. Look at that.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33890

  41. Hate to break it to you Oscar but some of us like boobs.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33894

  42. Hey, you know who you should be jealous of? Yourself. Because you're invited and you're invited and you're invited and you and you and you and you and you and you-

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33897

  43. What?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33899

  44. The limo seats eight. Ok. Then Jim and Pam and Ryan plus a guest.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33901

  45. Mmm... whoa.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33904

  46. I wish the windows weren't tinted so people could see us in here.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33906

  47. Definitely.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33908

  48. Definitely. Look they got pillows. That. That's bigger than my bed.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33910

  49. Who's playing with the button?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33913

  50. I will have to answer.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33926

  51. No, no. That's too hard. Say your name is Zamboni and then I will say, 'Well, we're sort of on thin ice.' I won't say that. I'll something like that.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33930

  52. Oh, my god. This is it.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33932

  53. Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33934

  54. Oh, hi.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33936

  55. Well, thank you and, and please call - continue to call me Mr. Scott.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33938

  56. Well, I guess this is as far as I can take you guys. So -

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33940

  57. See you later.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33943

  58. Officers. Thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33944

  59. Thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33946

  60. Hello.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33948

  61. Thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33950

  62. Oh. It was awesome. Very, very sublime.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33952

  63. It's nice to meet you, too. It's an honor and a privilege.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33955

  64. Ah. Your eminence.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33957

  65. You guys ever protect the president?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33966

  66. What about Madonna? Or Obama twins? Anybody famous?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33968

  67. Rock and roll.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33971

  68. This is not as much fun as I thought it would be.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33973

  69. We're going bankrupt, you think? They are really angry.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 33975

  70. Hey, hey, hey. I'm sorry. These are not criminals. They are nice. They invited me to come here today. They invited me to their hospitality suite where I had free food and it was delicious. Get this. Know how nice they are? The sent a stretch limo all the way to pick me up in Scranton. That's -

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34011

  71. Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34013

  72. Yeah, well, that's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen. We'll be back with some answers. I - ok. I know that you're mad at me and you're mad at all them -

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34028

  73. Ok. Alright. We are gonna - we're gonna go out there during this break and we are gonna come back with a plan. We're gonna come back with a plan for you. It's a 45 day plan. 45 days to get us back on track. 45 points. It's a 45 day/45 point. One point per day. We get the 45 points we are back in business. And you can take that to the bank. And Limo Lady, we are going completely carbon neutral. I love you, New York! You. You.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34030

  74. Wow. Things are really picking up.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34046

  75. What?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34048

  76. I did wave. I did a lot more than wave.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34050

  77. We tell them the plan, right?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34052

  78. Here's what we're gonna do. The 45 day thing that I outlined, we go with that. Day 45, company saved. Day 44, go. What do we got? We have 15 minutes.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34054

  79. Just whatever comes to mind. Shout it out.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34056

  80. I am the guy who roused that crowd.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34058

  81. Got them on their feet.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34060

  82. They were so happy down there.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34062

  83. Ok. Alright. Well, I know a guy. This Mexican guy. He is a math whiz. He knows economics as well as he knows bull fighting and I am going to call in a little favor.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34065

  84. Well, I'm texting him, so.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34067

  85. It's done.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34069

  86. Oh. There he is. Come on in. Come on in. Gentleman, I would like you to meet Oscar. Come on in. Don't be shy. This is Oscar Martinez. Oscar, why don't you come over here. Let me present you. Step up. Step up there. Oscar is an accountant extraordinaire at the Scranton branch and he has a wonderful idea as to how to get us out of this murky, murky situation. Take it away.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34070

  87. Tell them what you told me. This is genius.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34080

  88. Tell them about the cash flow and the dumping of properties and - this is all -

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34082

  89. It's all good. It's all good stuff. Lay it on them.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34084

  90. That wasn't what you were saying to me. He was much more articulate and that was better. Much better.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34086

  91. O-kay. Oh... hey, hey. What are you doing?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34088

  92. Wow, man. That -

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34090

  93. That was embarrassing.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34092

  94. For me, too. You embarrassed me.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34094

  95. Well, that was a waste of a text. Let's get down to brass tacks. I think that we might be in trouble. We don't seem to have a plan so I'm thinking I go down there. Maybe rattle off a few jokes. Congressman could follow.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34096

  96. Uh, I'm not a moron. Time after time my branch leads in sales. I have personally won over 17 Dundie awards. So, I am not a moron and I am just trying to help, you know? So... you're the moron.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34098

  97. [zipping through the hall while texting]

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34099

  98. Yes it is a thrill to be honored by one's company. To have the people that you work for stop for a minute and say, 'Wow. Great job.' That is what it is all about. Not the perks. Perks? The perks. I could take or leave the perks. Limos are for people who make the company money not lose millions and have no plan. So we're leaving early. After all, we are the only ones with anything to celebrate.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34100

  99. Oscar! Oscar! Come on! There he is! There he is! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Scranton! Scranton! Scranton! Dunder Mifflin!

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Line 34102

  100. Yeah, Have a seat.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34108