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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 76)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 76 of 122

  1. Did you ever have intercourse in this office?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26160

  2. Well?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26187

  3. You know this can't go on.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26191

  4. We have to put an end to this.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26193

  5. Come on.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26195

  6. When will she be ready?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26199

  7. Is she crazy in bed?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26201

  8. How so, specifically?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26204

  9. Really?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26210

  10. It's too late.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26212

  11. I am already walking.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26214

  12. Okay, what does that mean?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26216

  13. Jim, this has to get out, so we can all deal with it.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26218

  14. Thanks. Andy?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26221

  15. Walk with me.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26223

  16. Ohh, I do not have much time... car's all the way over there, to tell you what I have to tell you. And just bear in mind when I say... say these things, that... are bad things... that you hear... in your ears... this is something that I, if I were you, that I wouldn't want to hear...

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26225

  17. Well... no, I'm not. So I... I'm not very articulate today, so I'll just leave it for another time. Another day.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26227

  18. Which will be fine. I am off!

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26229

  19. Thank you!

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26231

  20. Okay. I will... Dwight and Angela are having an affair, so...

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26233

  21. Dwight and Angela are having an affair. They've been sleeping together for some time. That was the news. I wanted to let you know.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26235

  22. All right. See you later. Ahh.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26237

  23. Yep.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26239

  24. Right what?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26269

  25. David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26271

  26. Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26272

  27. This is going to sound sort of high-maintenance, but could we have it, like, three degrees cooler in here? I always think better when it's cooler.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26273

  28. Hey, what say we order up some pasta?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26275

  29. So I was in the office, and I look over to our Accounting division, and there is Kevin Malone. Kevin is wearing a jacket that I've never seen before. And I call over to Kevin, 'Kevin, is that a tweed jacket?' And he looks at me and he says, 'Michael, yes it is a tweed jacket.' And I look back at him and I say, 'I feel the need!... The need for tweed.'

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26344

  30. Oh, thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26346

  31. I have to say, I am so impressed with the potential you see in me.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26348

  32. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26350

  33. Wow, what a day! Haha! I thought I was gong to get chewed out, but, hold on! Here's an attaboy for ya! What? Rollercoaster ride! Rollercoaster! It just goes to show, you leave Scranton, exciting things can happen. Ahh!

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26397

  34. What you talking bout, Wallace?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26410

  35. Hi, I am well, how are you?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26412

  36. Oh, have you not?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26414

  37. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26416

  38. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26418

  39. Fax, why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26420

  40. Oh, well, then, email it to me.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26422

  41. I will seduce her.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26446

  42. No, I will seduce her.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26448

  43. No, I got it.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26450

  44. Yeah, so what if I did? That would take precedence and I would expect your support.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26452

  45. Alright, I am a local business owner. I need to buy paper. I find out everything about their prices and policies

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26454

  46. Michael Scarn.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26456

  47. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26458

  48. No.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26460

  49. No, no, I never said Denny's. IHOP.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26462

  50. Oh, don't start,

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26465

  51. You know what? I don't want to get into this debate again. I enjoy IHOP.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26467

  52. You will have pancakes and you'll like it.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26469

  53. So what?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26471

  54. Maybe they are shrinking.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26473

  55. They could be shrinking.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26475

  56. Ah ha Yup.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26477

  57. Mm hmm .

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26479

  58. And there are clouds. There are clouds in the sky, which means gonna rain, bad for business.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26481

  59. Argh, why are you all...

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26483

  60. Shut up.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26485

  61. Ready to do this?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26487

  62. Good. Here come the sharks.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26489

  63. In nature, there is something called a food chain; it's where the shark eats a little shark. And the little shark eats a littler shark. And so on and so on. Until you get down to the single cell shark. So now replace sharks with paper companies and that is all you need to know about business.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26490

  64. Hello.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26491

  65. My name is Michael Scarn. I am a local business owner and I would like to find out about your company.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26493

  66. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26495

  67. We are a law firm.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26497

  68. You know, I will be honest with you... about something. Where we used to live, our paper supplier had a lot of big clients and I just didn't feel like a priority. So I guess my question for you would be how many clients do you have?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26499

  69. Really? That many? This doesn't seem like a very big operation.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26501

  70. Ah, so when did you set up shop?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26503

  71. Oh Vietnam, I hear it's lovely .

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26505

  72. So, even specialty paper, say 94 brightness double-bonded, you would put that on the same truck as your conventional stock?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26513

  73. Well that is... because... I am a genius.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26515

  74. Yes, well about some things, and other things I am very stupid. Like, watch this. Is this the cup? Is this the cup? Is this what I drink out of? Laughter is my job, tears are my game, law is my profession.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26517

  75. Try 80.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26523

  76. Hey, hey, how is your interview going?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26538

  77. Don't blow it. Hey Linda, can I get a picture of you?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26540

  78. I would, could you just stand over here? That would be great Just a little something to remember the trip by. A little to your left

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26542

  79. What's going on? Little homework over here? Lets see if I can help. Huh, math, that's not so hard. Ok. There are 4 of these, ignore the parenthesis, right?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26545

  80. Why is this little 2 so small? It's, it's weird, you don't, you just go by the x. The x means times. 4 times x 2. What is double 4?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26547

  81. Excellent! Way to go! Nice!

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26549

  82. Oh, well thank you very much for all of your help. It's going to be an incredibly hard decision.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26555

  83. I... Okay, okay, okay, alright, thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26557

  84. Of course. Thank you very much. Thanks for your time.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26559

  85. I cannot wait to contact your clients.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26561

  86. Haha, we struck the mother load!

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26565

  87. Wallace is going to freak.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26567

  88. He's going to absolutely freak.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26569

  89. Oh shoot.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26571

  90. Oh God, what was that?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26573

  91. Aw, it's alright.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26577

  92. Aw, my car.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26579

  93. No no, we are fine. You have done enough already.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26584

  94. Just, shut up. You know we are just going to call a tow truck, so...

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26586

  95. No, no, really not necessary.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26588

  96. You know let me give you some money for this.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26595

  97. Oh coffee, that's too much.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26597

  98. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26601

  99. Ok, goodbye Prince Family.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26604

  100. Dwight, what will happen to that family if I call David and give him this information?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26609