Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 102)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 102 of 122

1. Yes! We're going to the hospital and we're going to have a baby.

   Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35612

2. I got it! I got it! Everybody it's go time! At your stations. Stanley, man the phones. Meredith, please, get bottled water. Erin, call an ambulance, please!

   Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35613

3. No, Jim, you are in no condition to drive. I will drive you. Check! Got it.

   Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35616

4. Yes.

   Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35618

5. Go bag! Where's my go bag? Where's my go bag?

   Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35620

6. You are telling me now that there is nothing in it. Okay, great! Oh, hey, hey, um, should I bring a dictionary to the hospital?

   Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35622

7. No, no, no. Dwight, let Jim do that, please.

   Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35626

8. Thank you! Wish me luck!

   Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35633

9. Here we go! Here we go! On our way!

   Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35636

10. Come on, Stanley! Okay. We're going now!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35638

11. No, no, no, no! Out, out! Idiot.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35640

12. Dwight, what is the traffic like?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35641

13. Alright.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35643

14. Geesh, Dwight!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35645

15. What!?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35647

16. Where?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35649

17. By the bushes?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35651

18. Okay, go, go, go, go!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35653

19. Okay, just breathe... She? You found out? Come on, guys. I wanted to be surprised.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35657

20. Yeah?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35659

21. I'm texting about you, okay!?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35662

22. Guys, guys! Stop fighting, come on. Come on. Do you want your kid to come out a lawyer? Right? Okay, you know what? I am all over this. Here we go. Ready?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35675

23. Hello, Dwight. Pam left her iPod at her house. I want you to swing by, pick it up, and bring it to the hospital. We need it yesterday.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35677

24. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35679

25. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35685

26. Do you have everything, guys?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35688

27. Okay, alright.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35690

28. Dunder-Mifflin. It's okay. I just did.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35692

29. Where is my little nibblet? Halpert, room D1. Alright, family only beyond this point, thank you. Here we go.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35696

30. Okay, not yet, not yet. I'm going to go wash my eyes.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35704

31. That kid's going to have a lot of hair.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35705

32. I think it's going to be any minute now.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35711

33. Phyllis, what could you possibly have to do?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35713

34. Oh, my God. Go, go, go! Are you insane? Alright.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35715

35. Guys? Hello? Um, sorry to be a bother, but if we could have an ETA when this is gonna...

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35716

36. You're starting, you're kinda losing them.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35718

37. Yeah, that's right. It's a baby, see?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35721

38. Okay. You can't smoke anywhere these days.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35723

39. Guys, guys!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35727

40. Eleven pounds...

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35729

41. Thank you! Thank you!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35732

42. Where's the baby? I want to see the baby. Oh! Oh, Helene, hi. Oh, my goodness, what are the odds of this? Congratulations on being a grandma.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35742

43. Hello. Oh, good for you. I worry about you.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35744

44. Love you, as a friend.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35748

45. Ooh, I want to hold the baby!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35750

46. Alright.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35752

47. Oh, okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35754

48. Mm-hmm. Oh. Ooh, wow. Michael. Michael.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35756

49. There she sat. Her name was Pam. She was a receptionist. She was engaged to an animal. There sat Jim. He was a gawky, tall salesman. The odds of them getting together were insur-mountain-able. I made a family! I got these two together, and I made a family.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35759

50. Who else here is single?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35761

51. I am offering up my services to you all. You saw what I did with Pam and Jim. I can help you, too.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35763

52. Okay, show of hands. Who wants to live in a world where Stanley has two lovers and you don't have any? Who else? Come on! People, I know models!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35765

53. Ha ha, you got that right! Meredith? Come on, you're obviously single.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35767

54. Andrew, what about you?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35770

55. Well, when you least expect it, expect it. I am going to fill the empty voids in your life with love. I am going to fill that empty hole in your body with another person. And, like Cupid, I am going to shoot you with love.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35773

56. What would you say, if I told you that I was about to change your life?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35817

57. I would like you to meet your new boyfriend.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35820

58. Okay, hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got to let the cookies cool before you pop 'em in your mouth. Why don't you guys get to know each other? Maybe have lunch together?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35824

59. Good!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35827

60. Sure. Kevin, please leave.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35830

61. Bye.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35832

62. Okay. This is going to kill Kevin.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35834

63. I'm not so sure. Kevin has an enormous heart. Literally, he has an elephant heart. He had a transplant when he was seventeen. Had some problems, blah blah blah.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35836

64. No, Kevin doesn't have an elephant heart. But he is very sensitive. And it won't kill Erin just to go and have lunch with him in the break room like I promised him... I bet his heart is enlarged, though.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35838

65. Just don't let him sit on you... I'm kidding. You'll have fun. It'll be good. It'll be good. There he is. Go to him.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35840

66. Kevin. Erin would like a few words with you.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35917

67. Oh, my God, this is agonizing. Look, Kevin, do you really think that you could have dated Erin?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35930

68. Okay, even if someone told you that, you should know that that could never be possible, Kevin. And I'm surprised that you didn't question me in the first place.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35932

69. No.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35934

70. Lynn was as hot as Erin.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35936

71. This isn't about me, and that is debatable. And I have a personality, where as you... Yes, Andy?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35938

72. Kev... Nice. Going.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35940

73. There is no greater feeling than when two people who are perfect for each other overcome all obstacles, and find true love. And that is what I thought that Erin and Kevin were going to find today... I think I'm going to be sick...

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 36015

74. Hello hello. Top of the morning to you! Ooh ooh! Green M&Ms! Nature's Viagra! Two of my favorite joke areas combined. It'll be a good day.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36021

75. It is St. Patrick's Day, and here in Scranton that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36030

76. Morning, honey-pile.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36051

77. It is. This is a little something for you to remember your time here in Scranton by.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36053

78. Yes it is!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36055

79. No, no no- that is a good gift actually. Buildings here in Scranton are literally powered by coal.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36057

80. Mm, that sounds great, actually.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36059

81. When you work for Sabre, only one thing matters. And I don't care if you're a loser, or you practice bestiality, if Jo likes you, you are in. And I am in!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36061

82. That is a great idea JB.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36094

83. Oscar, homosexual accountant.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36099

84. Daryl. Mellow, soulful, smart for warehouse...

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36102

85. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36104

86. Look at that picture that you drew. Nice job! We're very proud of you. You know what, we're gonna tape that up on the refrigerator in the kitchen.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36109

87. Oh no! Say it's not so, Jo, we're gonna miss you, we're gonna miss you so much!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36119

88. Well, I am heading down there.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36121

89. How about July 4th weekend?

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36123

90. I did!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36125

91. You know what, in the spirit of full disclosure, I have actually reserved a bunch of different seats on a bunch of different flights, but there are a couple of flights that only have two tickets left, so I think we should pull the trigger and -

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36127

92. All right, everybody, just try to put a brave face on.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36129

93. Let's follow the chain of events. Jo likes Michael. Jo invites Michael to house. Jo doesn't like Michael anymore. Hmmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36130

94. Hello. I want you to stop what you're doing right now. You are stressed, and I'm taking you to lunch.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36132

95. No is not an option.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36134

96. All right. Well if you need me, I'll be on the other side of that wall. Knock once for yes, twice for no.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36136

97. I'll be over there.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36138

98. Very nice.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36182

99. A real Hoop Dreams story you got there. Oh man, you seem to have caught Jo's eye. How'd you make that happen?

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36184

100. Hm mm. Seriously, how did you do it?

     Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36186