Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 101)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 101 of 122

1. Why hello!

   Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35129

2. Pleasure to meet you, Miss Bennett.

   Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35131

3. Jo, I don't know how things work in Florida, which from your description sounds like a colorful, lawless swamp, but here it takes two men to do one job, where in Florida it might take one very strong woman to do such a job.

   Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35159

4. Whoa, whoa!

   Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35161

5. And sometimes I can hardly handle that!

   Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35167

6. Forget the question...

   Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35171

7. I humbly accept the management position.

   Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35173

8. Because, well, Jim. Where I'm from, two types of folk: those who ain't, and those who are knee-high on a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't? Ya'll come back now.

   Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35175

9. Yes.

   Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35177

10. No, we know. Texas!

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35202

11. I could manage my way around that.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35204

12. I will try to manage my excitement!

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35206

13. I have been saying the word 'manager' a lot, so whenever Jo thinks 'manager' she thinks of me. Camel cigarettes did the same thing with Joe Camel by making him look like a penis. I can't even go near a cigarette now without thinking of a penis. And vise-versa.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35207

14. Sure. You here to tell me that you think I would be a better manager and that you are sorry for being such a jerk?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35216

15. What?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35218

16. What? Really?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35220

17. Wow!

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35222

18. La la la, hello Oscar!

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35223

19. What are you reading?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35225

20. Oh, that is my favorite ocean! I love it! I am so happy right now. No! I can't keep it a secret any longer. Jim is stepping down to salesman, I am going to be the sole manager once again.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35227

21. Why, is there an untapped gay market?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35229

22. ...Where did you get that information.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35231

23. Manuel who?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35233

24. Well, according to the manual, there is no cap on commissions. I have been hustled.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35234

25. Son of a bitch. Pardon me.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35235

26. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35237

27. Really? Aw, that is so sweet of you! But, I cannot accept, because I have been thinking about it, and I think I wanna go back to sales.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35239

28. Yeah. You can take the man out of the salesman, but you can't take the sales out of salesman.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35242

29. No, I think I would be bad. I would sleep in my office, and I would sexually harass people.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35245

30. I'm turning myself in right now!

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35247

31. Thank you.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35249

32. Great! That's great. Congratulations. Have fun signing my commission checks, boss.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35251

33. How is that possible?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35277

34. No excuses Erin, come on! Make it happen.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35279

35. Oh, yeah. Fine, fine. Leave it here. I have to make some sales anyway. Who should I call with my magic sales fingers? Michael Scott, head of sales.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35281

36. It will be a pleasure doing business with you. Thanks, bye. I just got a new account for the gentleman's club in Carbondale. It is called 'Curves.' I went by there the other day, saw some of the women walking in. Not really my cup of tea. Actually, Kevin, you might like it!

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35302

37. Why not? It's part of the sales experience.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35305

38. Well, okay...

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35307

39. What is that smell? Do you smell that? What is that? Like a sulfur deposit under here?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35326

40. No, I'm serious, we don't have to put up... Is it the dogs?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35328

41. You know what, we don't have to deal with this. I am going to Google sulfur maps.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35330

42. No, this is geological.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35332

43. Are you kidding me?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35334

44. And you guys are okay with this?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35336

45. Oh my God.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35340

46. Hey.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35350

47. You know, it's funny. I used to stand in here and wish I was out there. Now I'm out there, and I wish I was in here.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35352

48. Yeah. Except there's no grass out there. It's just a farty dirt patch.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35354

49. I really need my job back. We made a terrible mistake here.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35356

50. We make a poster that says 'Happy Opposite Day!' and she sees it on the way out... Nah, that's stupid. Ugh! I wish we had one of those amnesia flashlights from Men in Black.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35358

51. Lethal Weapon?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35360

52. What? What I'm saying...

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35363

53. And weirdly I'm a good dog person, right guys? See? They love me.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35365

54. Alright!

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35368

55. Oh, it smells good in here.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35381

56. Erin, what about my keyboard? Aw, so good to be home. How about a little Bosa Nova?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35383

57. Oh, oh, oh! Contraption! She's contrapting! Okay, you know what? I think I should drive you guys to the hospital, and here is why. I am a licensed, classy driver in the state of Pennsylvania. I gassed up the car...

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35418

58. Actually, I put diesel in this time, trying to save some money.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35420

59. Happy to do it. Also, I did a heck of a job baby-proofing this office.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35422

60. Well, the baby was conceived here, so might as well live here a little bit, too.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35424

61. Oh, yuck! TMI! How was it? I don't want to know. Tell me later. Let's go! Let's go! Hospital!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35426

62. Shut up, Nick. What a weird thing to say. Weird I.T. nerd. Don't get revenge on me, nerd.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35432

63. No, no, no, no, no. You know what? You can't tell us what to do because you are not co-manager anymore.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35459

64. Distractions are good! That means conference room, five minutes! No, no, five seconds! Right now, right now! Conference room! Topic, potpourri! Let's go!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35462

65. Um, I am sort of a master of distraction. When I was a kid, my mom received compliments left and right from my teachers on how I was always able to distract others in class. Try to think, what were the first thirteen colonies? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35463

66. The purpose for this meeting is to take Pam's mind off of what's going on inside of her body.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35464

67. I will allow that.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35466

68. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35471

69. Does anybody have anything? Anything interesting, any hobbies, uh, special skills?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35474

70. Yes, Phyl?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35476

71. Nope, nope, I don't think anybody wants to see that.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35478

72. That sounds good! Do you need some music, or...? Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35480

73. Where are we? We have every six minutes, ladies and gentlemen. Another seventy five contractions and you are going to be there.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35493

74. Yeah, happy times. Come on. Let's have happy times.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35497

75. Jim, as a matter of fact, I have printed out ten ways to induce labor. And I'm thinking we just do the opposite of those things and we can slow down your labor. Erin, read the first one.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35499

76. Okay, nobody touch Pam's nipples. Think of Pam's nipples as Toby's grundle.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35501

77. Okay, yeah, why don't you go get it?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35504

78. Okay, the opposite of that?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35506

79. Ooh, someone's freakin'.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35517

80. I think he is.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35519

81. Pam, Pam! Okay, alright, okay, it's time. Time to go to the hospital. Somebody get Jim, please! Is it midnight yet?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35555

82. 4:35. Alright, almost made it. Almost made it. Too bad you didn't have sex like seven and a half hours later. But you had to have the afternoon delight. I understand. Sometimes you have to go for it. Let's go to the hospital, shall we?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35557

83. We can do...

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35559

84. Oh. What? You want to eat cat food with Kevin and not go to the hospital?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35561

85. What is October feast?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35563

86. Okay, okay, Jim. I think this feast is over and it's time to go to the hospital.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35567

87. That's right, let's do this.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35569

88. Let's go, Pam. Yeah, I think we should head out.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35577

89. Are you kidding?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35584

90. You can do this. You can do this.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35586

91. I'm scared, too.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35588

92. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35591

93. We're going to have a baby.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35593

94. Let's do that.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35595

95. Two minutes apart.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35597

96. It's okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35601

97. I know, I know, I know. It went by too soon.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35604

98. We're okay, Jim! Okay, Pamela. You know what time it is?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35606

99. You're not going to. You know where you're going?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35608

100. Yes, you are. And you know what you're going to have?

     Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35610