Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 53)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 53 of 76

1. Strip club. I was looking at the strippers at the strip club.

   Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42218

2. Yeah!

   Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42221

3. Hey.

   Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42293

4. How are the marks?

   Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42295

5. What are some of your small business ideas?

   Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42296

6. That's great. There's a big, big future in that.

   Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42299

7. Um, what about you?

   Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42301

8. Uh-huh.

   Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42303

9. Wow!

   Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42305

10. Right. Okay? Great.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42307

11. You promised us whales. These are worms.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42309

12. We're no more a team than the people staying in the same hotel are a team.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42315

13. So what's your crazy business pipe dream?

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42431

14. Really?

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42433

15. Phyllis?

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42435

16. Some of these people are for real.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42437

17. Hey, friend. How's it going? Oh, you know what? Let me steep that for you.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42438

18. Hey, you know what? Good news. We're back in. Let's go sell some paper, Buddy. Huh?

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42440

19. I got it. I got it.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42444

20. You're gonna blow it.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42451

21. Andy. I didn't think you had it in ya.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42512

22. Problem solved everyone. Space Orphan and Princess Nincompoop are off to rescue Michael. Unbelievable. I'm going. You drive, I got a car full of fox meat.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42650

23. Male. Caucasian. Forties. Black hair. Facial type: marsupial.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42672

24. Hey hey hey. Let me answer this. Stupid question. He went back to the office, obviously, which is that way.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42676

25. Alright. Don't get a swelled head. You're no tracker. Let's ride.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42679

26. Has Michael checked in?

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42682

27. I asked you a question.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42684

28. Goodbye.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42686

29. Pam, this isn't a shopping trip.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42688

30. This is a man-hunt slash rescue mission.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42690

31. Pam, I'm obviously going to get that stuff for you so just shut up.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42692

32. No word from Michael.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42694

33. Hey.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42733

34. There's too many brands. Where's Holly?

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42735

35. Hey!

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42737

36. What are you doing?

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42739

37. Tootenbacher.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42744

38. Of course. He was here. She's the key. Amazing. Holly. Hey, where you would you like to go next? Holly?

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42747

39. Excuse me Do you speak English? We are looking for a man. Michael, this tall, black hair, Caucasian...

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42762

40. Uncanny. Put a pin in that. Which way did he go? That guy! When he leave here, which way did he go? We looking for him. This way, this way, this way? I don't know. Do you know?

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42767

41. He's heading downtown.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42769

42. Do you see a little clown that you want to follow, huh? Is there a little bird that's chirping to you, 'this way, this way'?

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42804

43. Okay, close your eyes, we need you to think. What is Michael seeing right now? Can you tell him that we miss him? Michael we're coming for you!

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42806

44. All right then. Someone propose a plan.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42808

45. Not you, Erin.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42810

46. That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. No. Tap into your common mind and tell us what he would do next.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42812

47. Right. I can do this on my own. I can think like Michael. All right... I'm deep below the ocean's surface in a submarine. A torpedo's coming right at me. No. Damn it, that's just my own imagination. Maybe he's bowling.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Quote 42815

48. Okay, my name is j...j...j...j...j...j...j...j Jim Halpert and I will fax it in to you... under you. I'll fax it under you. Oh, excuse me. I just p...p...p...p pissed my pants. Not really. I didn't really.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 42907

49. You're just filling that out right now. That wasn't meant for me. I will not be your Valentine.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 42909

50. Michael. Confession: I have done PDA in the office.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 42980

51. I've had intercourse in the office.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 42982

52. As has Angela!

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 42984

53. As has Ryan. As has Kelly. As has Meredith. As has Phyllis. As has Darryl. As has Creed. As has Michael and as has Holly.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 42986

54. Michael, that's absurd. What if two couples want to go at the same time?

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 42996

55. And what is the hook-up zone policy on masturbation?

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 42998

56. Yes!

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43000

57. Hey. Hey. Come on. You're hurting him.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43124

58. Shh.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43126

59. Just hush.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43128

60. Just rock. Shh.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43130

61. Movie idea?

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43132

62. Okay. Shh. Have you talked to her about your feelings? Women really go for that crap.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43134

63. Kevin! Do more stupid faces.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43136

64. I don't know.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43138

65. Do the monkey face!

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43140

66. Good. He loves it. Good. Jump. Jump up and down.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43142

67. Go back to the monkey!

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43144

68. Hurl your feces.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43146

69. Good.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43148

70. They really do that.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43150

71. My perfect Valentine's Day? I'm at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Quote 43184

72. I play Samuel, Michael Scarn's robot butler. I wanted Samuel's voice- to be like this! But Michael thought that Samuel should be a very advance android, almost indistinguishable from a real person.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Quote 43208

73. He cut the part where my circuit board malfunctioned! What was the point of spilling the drink on me?

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Quote 43212

74. No no, he's doing it to catch the president!

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Quote 43260

75. I have the best survival stock shelter in north eastern Pennsylvania. But everything has a shelf-life. So I must eat and replace everything that's about to expire. It's nice not to have to plan my meals.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43262

76. They're still good for another week.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43264

77. Hardy har har. Okay picture this: Snowy ash drizzles from the sky. A ravenous pack of dogs surrounds you as the flame at the end of your stick dies out. There's only one hope left for you. The door to my shelter. You pound, you beg, Dwight! Please let me in! But I ignore your cries and do not let you in. You wanna know why?

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43267

78. No. Because you laughed at me. Kevin will be eaten! Pam will be taken slave! Jim will be made a warlord's gesture. Meredith will do ok. Be assured this day will come. It's just a matter of time. Could be one month, could be two months.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43269

79. Could be.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43271

80. I can see that happening, yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43273

81. That's a realistic time line.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43275

82. Perhaps.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43277

83. I can see that as a very real possibility.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43279

84. I can see that happening.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43281

85. Why's he talking to Holly?

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43301

86. Holly, you approved this?

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43311

87. I didn't order anything.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43328

88. Well there's a lot of seats in the annex.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43330

89. I have been sitting here for ten years, Michael.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43333

90. No it is not.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43335

91. I don't wanna move desks!

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43339

92. Hey, who's dirt box is this?

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43344

93. What do you grow in here, bullcrap?

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43346

94. Kevin, in sumo culture, you'd be considered a promising up and comer.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43391

95. Hey Packer, I made you some hot chocolate.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43437

96. Cause I wanna let bygones be bygones. Show you I'm cool. You're the new guy. It's cold out. I made too much. I got this awesome hot chocolate recipe from my wife.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43439

97. Drink it!

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43441

98. None of your business.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43445

99. It wasn't poison Jim, it was a laxative. People take laxatives all the time. This is just, a lot more of a laxative. Let me handle this.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43447

100. Really.

     Season 7 · Episode 17 · Quote 43449