Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 52)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 52 of 76

1. Or else? Or else what? There's nothing you can do.

   Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41137

2. Waste of time.

   Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41143

3. Let me see.

   Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41147

4. You can't just move out.

   Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41150

5. In your perfect would, what would make this building awesome? I'm putting together kind of a wish list.

   Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41186

6. Yeah, no. I'm not a genie. I'm just talking about a...

   Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41188

7. You can't possibly be serious.

   Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41190

8. Parley, my office, five minutes.

   Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41210

9. Pam, I am not an unreasonable man. If you guys stay, I will stop watering down the soap.

   Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41215

10. Why do you even need soap? Are you that bad at going to the bathroom?

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41217

11. You don't wanna move. Moving is one of the most stressful things you can do in life. You'll probably just take it out on your kid. Jim will turn to the drink. The family will fall apart, and twenty five years from now, Cece will become world famous... for stripping.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41219

12. Here it is, right here, pull over. Oh my God. No way. Man, look at that.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41242

13. There's no building. This could only mean one thing.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41244

14. She was lying. Oh, Pam, Pam...

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41246

15. What?

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41250

16. Oh.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41252

17. I'm sorry. We have a colleague with the same name.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41254

18. So, okay. You're not a liar too are you?

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41256

19. Damn it, Pam. Get out. Right now. Leave it, I mean it. Get the hell out of here. Go.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41258

20. I can't wait to do to Pam, what I just did... to Pam.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41260

21. Hey Pam.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41261

22. Y'know what, I'm the only one here who you haven't asked about the new office.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41263

23. Yeah, but I'm still an employee here, and that part of me is really excited about the change of scenery. What's the square footage in the new place?

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41265

24. What's the exact square footage.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41267

25. How many offices are there? Oh I'll just look at the one sheet myself.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41269

26. You're a funny guy Pam. What's the first thing you guys are gonna do when you move in to the new office? I'm going to walk down the hall and say 'Wow, I can't believe this is real, but it is.' I can't wait.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41271

27. Impossible, I love the law.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41300

28. I see I've underestimated you, and I didn't think that was possible. Nate, reply the paper.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41302

29. Reply it!

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41304

30. They say the best vampires don't bleed their victims dry, but give them the strength so that they can bounce back only to be fed on again. I spared Pam, and I may feast off of her profits for years to come. I let Pam win. Haha, oh. I was not motivated by compassion. I have no compassion. Make sure you got that. Not motivated by compassion.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Quote 41321

31. I'll tell you who. Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Angela, and Oscar.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41340

32. You are?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41342

33. Let me see you jump. Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41344

34. Oh come on.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41388

35. Oh, my God! It's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate, and cuddle up with Papa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams, hmm? It's not even a real snow. Look, it's a dusting. Pitiful.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41397

36. Damn it, Jim, you cannot throw snowballs in here!

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41399

37. Look at that. There's a pebble in there. You coulda killed me.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41401

38. You apologize to me right now.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41404

39. You apologize right now.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41406

40. Very well, then I challenge you to a snowball fight on the first real snow of winter.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41408

41. No, Andy, it's a snowball fight. It's not fun. Go get your own thing. Beat it. Jim, let go. Let go.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41411

42. Pam?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41427

43. Death to Toby!

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41435

44. Is it the middle school teacher who tried to turn her foreign exchange student into a sex slave?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41444

45. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41468

46. You've reached the voice mail of Dwight Kurt Schrute. Please leave...

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41549

47. Ahhhhhhh!!!! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41550

48. Ahh!

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41552

49. [grunting, shouting]

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41554

50. I have no feeling in my fingers or penis. But I think it was worth it.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41555

51. Haahh!!

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41556

52. [turns in Pam's chair with a Pam wig on and laughs maniacally]

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41663

53. Oh, no. Oh, no!

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41665

54. Oh, no. Yes, taste my wrath!

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41667

55. Huh? You like that?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41669

56. Huh?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41671

57. Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when your gonna need to bear a passing resemblance to someone.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41673

58. I could not agree more. And just want to state for the record that I am intending to sue Jim for acute psychological distress.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41701

59. With snowballs, Jim? With fluffy little snowballs? No. I thought we were just playing.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41703

60. Wait, what girlfriend?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41706

61. I find that unlikely. You email me when you get a new zit.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41708

62. Dear God in heaven.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41737

63. Okay, hey, hey, hey...

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41741

64. Didn't think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim? Let that be a lesson to you all.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41754

65. I do not accept your surrender. There's only one way that I would ever relent.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41868

66. You hit Pam in the face with a snowball while I watch.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41870

67. I'll take that as a no.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41872

68. In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Quote 41924

69. Minutes from previous meeting of Knights of the Night. No, Jim, hey!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41926

70. This meeting is for Knights of the Night only.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41928

71. Knights of the Night are volunteer crime patrollers. We're often compared to the Guardian Angels, but we could not be more different from them. Seriously, we are nothing like the Guardian Angels. I mean, broad strokes purposes, sure. Think Guardian Angels. One of our many recent good deeds? We set out to capture the Scranton Strangler. Mission accomplished. Not by us.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41929

72. No, no, no, no, no. I see how this movie ends. You make fun of me, everyone laughs, ha, ha, ha... screw you!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41931

73. What are you going to do now? Are you going to make fun of our leader's weird voice? Huh? Dwight, don't be bothered by the. Over the line, Jim.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41933

74. Fine. Minutes from previous meeting of Knights of the Night. That's our official name, Jim.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41935

75. Reflective strips were glued to patrol jackets. Knights went outside with flashlights to test them.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41937

76. And the rest was juststuff.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41939

77. Okay. Knights stayed outside to play flashlight tag.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41941

78. It was pretty awesome.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41946

79. Wow. Did your baby draw that?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41955

80. Hey, hey, hey. Want me to crank the thermostat up to 90, smoke her out? She can't keep those mittens on forever.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 41983

81. Not doing that.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42011

82. I've achieved plenty and there's no better than the best.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42013

83. Wait, it's that easy? That's not a resolution, that's just... something I want to do. Okay, fine. I can do that... My resolution is... meet a loose woman.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42026

84. Yeah.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42029

85. Awesome.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42031

86. It's that easy?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42034

87. Okay, I'll drive.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42036

88. I'll take the entirety of the second floor.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42068

89. Welcome.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42076

90. Is that what we were doing?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42080

91. Good. Real good.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42083

92. Yeah, yeah!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42085

93. Yeah, pretty much. But, you know, this place is kinda tapped out, so. Let's roll.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42087

94. Okay. What'd you get?

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42089

95. Oh, really? What else? Let me see.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42091

96. I am not going back until I fulfill my resolution.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42106

97. Come on, why not? I've never been in one before. I'm tired of being Mr. Perfect Role Model all the time.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42108

98. Well, we can't just go back, I mean, we came out to meet women.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42110

99. Chicks fall down, need help getting back up.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42114

100. Gentlemen.

     Season 7 · Episode 12 · Quote 42216