Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 50)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 50 of 76

1. All right, let's do this.

   Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39104

2. It's okay, I smell.

   Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39106

3. No, no, no. Contractually we're obligated to have sex.

   Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39108

4. I will tell. I will tell the mediator. What-what are you... Ok. Oh, was that in the way? Get rid of it.

   Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39110

5. Good night.

   Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39112

6. Hola, hola. Necesito une bueno worker. Tu esporte! Come on! Que? QUE?

   Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39151

7. I pick up day laborers and tell them they'll get paid at six p.m. At five forty five, a certain INS agent by the name of Mose Schrute throws them in the back of a van, drops them off in the middle of Harrisburg and tells them it's Canada.

   Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39160

8. Hola, tu es une buena worker?

   Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39162

9. Y el accento, donde are you from?

   Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39164

10. You speak English?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39166

11. Ok, good. Me too, get in the car.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39168

12. [nods to camera]

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39170

13. That is my new maintenance worker, Nate. And you'll be happy to know that he's taking care of that hornet's nest that you've been griping about.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39172

14. Poor hornet.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39174

15. I left him all the tools he needs. This is do or die. If he chooses correctly he'll conquer the hornets...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39175

16. He'll die.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39177

17. When did the phrase do or die become so corrupted?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39180

18. Interesting choice...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39184

19. A bat! Impressive...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39190

20. Some eggs can rely dormant in a woman for years, they may not even know they have it.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39227

21. What port? The Jan port. The Holly Por...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39229

22. You may have...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39231

23. You need to contact Holly! You need to notify her, that she is crawling with herpes.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39233

24. You need to contact every woman you've been with, and notify them of your herpes infestation. It's the right thing to do.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39235

25. Then I will.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39237

26. No, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39239

27. So long Donna!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39254

28. He forgot to mention the herpes.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39298

29. I don't understand the reference.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39306

30. We had to come over right away, it's urgent. Michael has something to tell you.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39308

31. Ok I'm gonna head outta here, I know you have a lot to talk about. Ok, is there a, an operating theater that's open to visitors? Never mind I'll find it.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39311

32. Next stop is Helene. You're gonna wanna make a left on Willow, which is a little ways away, uh. I'll remind you.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39366

33. Jan knows paper.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39368

34. Wait, what Holly said?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39370

35. Forget it Michael! Today is about herpes.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39372

36. Who gave it to you, who has it, and who is going to pay.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39374

37. TO answer your question about Jan, no. Jan is insane. Why do you think I got- LEFT, WILLOW NOW!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39376

38. Come on old lady. Let's go.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39384

39. Come on.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39386

40. Michael!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39407

41. Excuse me, someone died in the upstairs bathroom didn't they?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39443

42. It was probably just an ingrown mustache hair but we have to be exhaustive.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39461

43. I'm gonna need a list of every man you've ever had sex with. I'm talking train stations, men's rooms...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39464

44. Fence with a hole in it..

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39466

45. The woods behind the liquor store, the swamp behind the old folk's home.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39468

46. The democratic primaries,

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39470

47. Can't beat a horse. A horse is a bike that peddles itself.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39478

48. Yeah!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39495

49. How do I look?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39502

50. Normal. Ugly.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39504

51. Alright. Wait, wait, wait, wait for me! It's weird if I come in slightly after.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39506

52. We have a big meeting with the chief buyer for Frames Select, Steve Nash.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39507

53. Will you stop trying to put it in terms you think they'll understand? It's condescending.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39509

54. And who is this 'the' Steve Nash?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39511

55. No.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39513

56. No, Mr. Jock Hipster.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39515

57. Go tell her we're here. You're good with receptionists.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39526

58. Crap.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39528

59. Danny Cordray is the worst.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39529

60. The best salesman ever. He works for Osprey Paper over in Throop, steals more clients from Dunder-Mifflin than anyone.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39531

61. Also, he slept with Pam.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39533

62. I'm gonna intimidate him. Okay?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39542

63. Watch this.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39544

64. So anyway, she says, 'that is the biggest penis I have ever seen.' And I said, 'I know. That's why I brought you to the Penis Museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars.' Well, hello Danny!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39546

65. What are you doing?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39550

66. Like hell you are.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39552

67. He's not just here for the coffee, Jim. Wake up!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39554

68. What'd he say? What did he say?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39564

69. There he is.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39586

70. I've been in showtime mode since breakfast.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39601

71. He's not kidding.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39610

72. Oh.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39613

73. Jim talked too much.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39618

74. Yes, you did.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39620

75. I know how we can learn his tricks.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39632

76. What I am about to show you is of the utmost secrecy.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39633

77. Yes, Jim. And with a little tweaking, it becomes a different office. We lure Danny to it and watch him sell.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39635

78. The Sting. The Sting.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39645

79. Van Helsing was a respected professor before he was a vampire killer.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39652

80. People can't keep their true natures hidden for long, and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39674

81. He's very, very handsome.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39678

82. Oh...

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39702

83. Oh, man!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39705

84. I told you! You're an exec at Stark Industries, a corporation you inherited from your father-

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39711

85. Then make him pitch to you.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39716

86. We gotta see what he's got.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39718

87. Okay, and remember-you're not gay.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39720

88. Okay. You're a young hotshot from Stark Industries. You've just bought this company. Meredith is fired. It's a whole new regime. He's gotta pitch to you now.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39730

89. Michael! No, Michael, stop it! No!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39742

90. No!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39758

91. Michael?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39786

92. Can I talk to you about something?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39788

93. It's about this very announcement you just made.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39790

94. Michael-

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39792

95. Where's he gonna sit? There's no more seats.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39803

96. Where's he gonna park? There's no more reserved parking spots.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39806

97. You snubbed her.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39836

98. Let me handle this, Jim. Drop the act, Cordray, okay? We all know that you probably thought that Pam was too 'meh' or thin without being toned. But I wanna tell you something-she is one of the plain hearty women of Scranton that make this city great. And so what if she doesn't wear makeup? We like her better that way! And you steal clients, don't you? Don't you!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39838

99. Oh, that's different, is it? Okay...thief. You better check your things, people. In fact, where are my keys? Oh, there in my pocket. False alarm. Okay. So...you're gonna be workin' here?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39840

100. Welcome aboard.

     Season 7 · Episode 5 · Quote 39842