Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 50)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 50 of 76

1. All right, let's do this.

   Season 7 · Episode 3 · Line 39104

2. It's okay, I smell.

   Season 7 · Episode 3 · Line 39106

3. No, no, no. Contractually we're obligated to have sex.

   Season 7 · Episode 3 · Line 39108

4. I will tell. I will tell the mediator. What-what are you... Ok. Oh, was that in the way? Get rid of it.

   Season 7 · Episode 3 · Line 39110

5. Good night.

   Season 7 · Episode 3 · Line 39112

6. Hola, hola. Necesito une bueno worker. Tu esporte! Come on! Que? QUE?

   Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39151

7. I pick up day laborers and tell them they'll get paid at six p.m. At five forty five, a certain INS agent by the name of Mose Schrute throws them in the back of a van, drops them off in the middle of Harrisburg and tells them it's Canada.

   Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39160

8. Hola, tu es une buena worker?

   Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39162

9. Y el accento, donde are you from?

   Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39164

10. You speak English?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39166

11. Ok, good. Me too, get in the car.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39168

12. [nods to camera]

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39170

13. That is my new maintenance worker, Nate. And you'll be happy to know that he's taking care of that hornet's nest that you've been griping about.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39172

14. Poor hornet.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39174

15. I left him all the tools he needs. This is do or die. If he chooses correctly he'll conquer the hornets...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39175

16. He'll die.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39177

17. When did the phrase do or die become so corrupted?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39180

18. Interesting choice...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39184

19. A bat! Impressive...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39190

20. Some eggs can rely dormant in a woman for years, they may not even know they have it.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39227

21. What port? The Jan port. The Holly Por...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39229

22. You may have...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39231

23. You need to contact Holly! You need to notify her, that she is crawling with herpes.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39233

24. You need to contact every woman you've been with, and notify them of your herpes infestation. It's the right thing to do.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39235

25. Then I will.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39237

26. No, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39239

27. So long Donna!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39254

28. He forgot to mention the herpes.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39298

29. I don't understand the reference.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39306

30. We had to come over right away, it's urgent. Michael has something to tell you.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39308

31. Ok I'm gonna head outta here, I know you have a lot to talk about. Ok, is there a, an operating theater that's open to visitors? Never mind I'll find it.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39311

32. Next stop is Helene. You're gonna wanna make a left on Willow, which is a little ways away, uh. I'll remind you.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39366

33. Jan knows paper.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39368

34. Wait, what Holly said?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39370

35. Forget it Michael! Today is about herpes.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39372

36. Who gave it to you, who has it, and who is going to pay.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39374

37. TO answer your question about Jan, no. Jan is insane. Why do you think I got- LEFT, WILLOW NOW!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39376

38. Come on old lady. Let's go.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39384

39. Come on.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39386

40. Michael!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39407

41. Excuse me, someone died in the upstairs bathroom didn't they?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39443

42. It was probably just an ingrown mustache hair but we have to be exhaustive.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39461

43. I'm gonna need a list of every man you've ever had sex with. I'm talking train stations, men's rooms...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39464

44. Fence with a hole in it..

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39466

45. The woods behind the liquor store, the swamp behind the old folk's home.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39468

46. The democratic primaries,

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39470

47. Can't beat a horse. A horse is a bike that peddles itself.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39478

48. Yeah!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39495

49. How do I look?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39502

50. Normal. Ugly.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39504

51. Alright. Wait, wait, wait, wait for me! It's weird if I come in slightly after.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39506

52. We have a big meeting with the chief buyer for Frames Select, Steve Nash.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39507

53. Will you stop trying to put it in terms you think they'll understand? It's condescending.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39509

54. And who is this 'the' Steve Nash?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39511

55. No.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39513

56. No, Mr. Jock Hipster.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39515

57. Go tell her we're here. You're good with receptionists.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39526

58. Crap.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39528

59. Danny Cordray is the worst.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39529

60. The best salesman ever. He works for Osprey Paper over in Throop, steals more clients from Dunder-Mifflin than anyone.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39531

61. Also, he slept with Pam.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39533

62. I'm gonna intimidate him. Okay?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39542

63. Watch this.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39544

64. So anyway, she says, 'that is the biggest penis I have ever seen.' And I said, 'I know. That's why I brought you to the Penis Museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars.' Well, hello Danny!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39546

65. What are you doing?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39550

66. Like hell you are.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39552

67. He's not just here for the coffee, Jim. Wake up!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39554

68. What'd he say? What did he say?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39564

69. There he is.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39586

70. I've been in showtime mode since breakfast.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39601

71. He's not kidding.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39610

72. Oh.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39613

73. Jim talked too much.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39618

74. Yes, you did.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39620

75. I know how we can learn his tricks.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39632

76. What I am about to show you is of the utmost secrecy.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39633

77. Yes, Jim. And with a little tweaking, it becomes a different office. We lure Danny to it and watch him sell.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39635

78. The Sting. The Sting.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39645

79. Van Helsing was a respected professor before he was a vampire killer.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39652

80. People can't keep their true natures hidden for long, and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39674

81. He's very, very handsome.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39678

82. Oh...

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39702

83. Oh, man!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39705

84. I told you! You're an exec at Stark Industries, a corporation you inherited from your father-

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39711

85. Then make him pitch to you.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39716

86. We gotta see what he's got.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39718

87. Okay, and remember-you're not gay.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39720

88. Okay. You're a young hotshot from Stark Industries. You've just bought this company. Meredith is fired. It's a whole new regime. He's gotta pitch to you now.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39730

89. Michael! No, Michael, stop it! No!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39742

90. No!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39758

91. Michael?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39786

92. Can I talk to you about something?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39788

93. It's about this very announcement you just made.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39790

94. Michael-

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39792

95. Where's he gonna sit? There's no more seats.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39803

96. Where's he gonna park? There's no more reserved parking spots.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39806

97. You snubbed her.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39836

98. Let me handle this, Jim. Drop the act, Cordray, okay? We all know that you probably thought that Pam was too 'meh' or thin without being toned. But I wanna tell you something-she is one of the plain hearty women of Scranton that make this city great. And so what if she doesn't wear makeup? We like her better that way! And you steal clients, don't you? Don't you!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39838

99. Oh, that's different, is it? Okay...thief. You better check your things, people. In fact, where are my keys? Oh, there in my pocket. False alarm. Okay. So...you're gonna be workin' here?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39840

100. Welcome aboard.

     Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39842