Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 47)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 47 of 76

1. Really.

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2. Gimme the leads. Where are my leads?

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3. Where are they?

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4. The trash. It's code. Alright, Meredith, take off your dress.

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5. Clean sack.

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6. It's empty!

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7. I'll go, Michael. You'll just screw it up.

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8. This place has gone to hell.

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9. Yeah, well, the acorn becomes the oak.

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10. Oh, why, because I have a shot at a $100k commission?

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11. Hey. There is nothing I can do about my wide-set eyes.

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12. When I first met you, I had a lot of job offers. And I had an offer from Ivan Schartsky. The Ivan Schartsky. And if I'd assistant managed him -

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13. Oh, that's low! I would be number two right now at Home Depot!

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14. Okay? Because they promote from within. Instead I had to follow you - you, going nowhere.

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15. I hitched my wagon to a horse with no legs.

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16. Kung-fu movies!

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17. Nice babies you're making with the floozies at the bars.

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18. Your made-up wife? Who doesn't exist? You watch it!

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19. Don't do it

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20. No!

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21. Stop it, get out! That's my spool.

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22. Oh

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23. Wow. Amazing, isn't it. No other animal on earth could do this. Maybe beavers. But not like this.

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24. Hey You know who'd like this? Phyllis. Purple, much?

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25. Yeah

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26. Hope - grows.

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27. Woo hoo!

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28. We have an awesome bean bag chair that's perfect for the break room.

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29. Yeah, damn right you're not. 'Cause it's for me and Michael only

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30. Breathe. Work your core. Come on.

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31. Not counting the last one, 25.

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32. Ok, 25 and one girl push-up!

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33. Okay.

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34. And one girl push-up.

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35. 25. Yeah! Come on, you can do it!

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36. Hold that thought. Well, well, well. If it isn't Isabel.

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37. What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?

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38. Ooh, I love repartee.

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39. Usually means there's a battle scene coming.

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40. Any brothers or sisters?

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41. Really?

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42. Vegetarian?

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43. What's your blood type?

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44. Universal donor.

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45. Angela versus Isabel. Height, advantage Isabel. Birthing hips, advantage Isabel. Remaining child-bearing years, advantage Isabel. Legal obligation, advantage Angela.

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46. Whacking moles. Hit 'em on the head. Whack. Say it with me.

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47. Extend the fingers more.

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48. Good.

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49. Hey, monkey, how you doing?

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50. Listen, can I talk to you for a second?

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51. Look, I've been thinking. We had a good run. We really did. But you don't need to worry about this whole contract thing anymore.

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52. It's just that we both-we want different things. You know, I want a big family.

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53. No, no, no, no. I want a big family. Tall. Thick. A big, physically big family. Listen, you go have fun. You're off the hook.

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54. Dissolved. Don't worry, you're free. Okay? Okay. See you later.

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55. With this move, he can't get you.

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56. Oh, please. I wish he'd come after me. I would be like-aaah!

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57. Sh-what?

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58. No, no, no. Blah blah blah blah!

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59. What are you-

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60. Angela...

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61. You're really putting me in an awkward position here.

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62. Angela, not here!

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63. You are an impressive specimen.

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64. Why is everyone clumped around accounting? Break it up, you clique.

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65. Is that the program where all those puppets live in the barrio?

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66. I love that show.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36951

67. That is an amusing link. I'd like it sent to me, please.

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68. [hands Erin a basket of beets]

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69. Well, I knew it existed, and I chose to let it die.

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70. Hello, Pam.

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71. Her milk is coming in. She's getting uncomfortable.

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72. Same thing happens with my cows if I don't tend them frequently enough. You gotta milk them, or else they'll moo like crazy.

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73. All right, this is gonna traumatize me a hell of a lot more than you, believe me.

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74. Really? Fine. Let your breasts explode. Three squeezes and I would drain you.

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75. Yeah pretty much.

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76. Wait, What? I was just slow-clapping your no-nonsense decision-making.

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77. Prideful idiots. Watch how it's done. Gabriel, I apologize.

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78. I kneel before you.

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79. Humbly taking your hand upon which I kiss to show my contrition.

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80. What was that? Are you kidding me? Was that an impression?

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81. I have to go back to the zoo to the stick insect exhibit.'

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82. Guten tag, Herr Michael.

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83. I don't understand why Michael is wasting his time with Spanish. I have it on very good authority that within 20 years, everyone will be speaking German. Or a Chinese-German hybrid.

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84. You know what? I should be getting this client, Michael. My numbers are better than either of theirs.

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85. If you want people to put the best face on something, why would you get two people who probably never cut the face off of anything in their lives?

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86. What is this?

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87. It doesn't just sound a'ight, it sounds amazing.

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88. How do I apply?

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89. Uh, glasses wearers. Cholera survivors. Geniuses. Non-organic family farmers. The list goes on and on. You want me to keep going?

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90. Come here. Come here.

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91. Ten seconds ago, this guy was driving a forklift. Okay? Now all off a sudden he's Cinderella of the office. What are you guys thinking?

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92. One minority from this branch is going to get into this program. Who would I refer? Hmm... the competent, hardworking one who does things his own way, or the malleable simpleton who can be bought for a few fashion magazines?

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93. Oh, man. White people, right?

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94. Well, you can kinda tell from the voice.

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95. I bet you get pulled over by the cops a lot, just because of your race.

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96. I think you should consider applying for the executive minority training program.

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97. I know, 'cause you have no role models. How many Indian CEO's can you think of?

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98. You could be the Indian Bill Gates. You could be the Indian Ted Turner.

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99. That's not... she's... okay. Yes.

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100. How as being a minority affected you?

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