Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 32)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 32 of 76

1. Hmm, interviewing skills, sub-par.

   Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24294

2. On the contrary, I'm helping Cornell. By evaluating their interviewers.

   Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24296

3. Well, when they get my evaluation we'll see if they're interested.

   Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24298

4. Interviewer is threatening applicant with an arbitrary review process.'

   Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24300

5. Interviewer has suspect motives.'

   Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24302

6. Interviewer has turned off applicant's interest in Cornell, and they are going to go to the vastly superior Dartmouth.' Ever heard of it? I think I have everything I need.

   Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24304

7. And you will be hearing from the -

   Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24306

8. -Cornell Application Department,

   Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24308

9. And you will not be pleased with the result.

   Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24310

10. And your affiliation with Cornell -

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24312

11. Will end completely!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24314

12. That is all sir, you may go.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24316

13. Where did you get those?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24360

14. I see what you are doing. But I do not know where you are going with this.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24362

15. Cornell.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24364

16. You once told me that Andy and I had different strengths. Well, he can't do what I can do. I can get into Cornell, but he doesn't know how to make food and shelter from a golden retriever.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24501

17. No, but it'll make you respect him less.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24503

18. I heard someone got engaged, you dog, huh?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24506

19. Oh, nothing can hurt you now. You're a man in love!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24508

20. Bring it on.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24550

21. Sorry.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24552

22. What does it say?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24554

23. That's impossible.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24556

24. I sell more paper than anyone.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24558

25. Wait, is this a joke? I'm getting that queasy feeling that sometimes accompanies jokes.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24560

26. No, but that's sometimes part of it.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24562

27. Impossible to say. I can't see myself.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24564

28. What are you mumbling about?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24585

29. None of your business.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24587

30. Those can't be my scores, Jim. For your information --

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24589

31. I'm being sabotaged.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24591

32. And I'm going to find that person and punish them.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24593

33. You're an idiot.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24595

34. No way.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24599

35. I didn't say anything

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24602

36. What do you think I am saying to you?!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24605

37. I've caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser. Get a friend, loser.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24607

38. All right, fine. Brrring.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24633

39. Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24635

40. Excellent, then you are in luck, because we are having a limited-time offer only on everything.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24637

41. What is your name, sir?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24640

42. Really, that's your real name?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24642

43. Yes, Michael.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24645

44. What? No, but I --

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24647

45. Oh, no. What's wrong?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24651

46. Sorry, Mr. Buttlicker. As I was saying, we're having a limited--

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24654

47. OK, as I was saying, right now we are having --

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24657

48. OK, our prices have never been lower.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24659

49. ...never been lower!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24661

50. Buttlicker! Our prices have never been lower!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24663

51. He --

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24665

52. Please, Mr. Buttlicker --

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24671

53. Please give me another chance. Mr. Buttlicker.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24674

54. I have to put you on with my boss.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24676

55. Yeah!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24682

56. You are the master.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24684

57. Don't do it, Michael.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24688

58. Get in!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24702

59. Get in!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24704

60. Shh. They might be listening to us.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24706

61. They might be listening to us

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24708

62. Customer service might be monitoring this conversation.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24710

63. You never know. Better safe than sorry.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24712

64. Who stands to benefit from our downfall?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24714

65. Could be the mob. But then Dunder-Mifflin would need to be a front for money laundering, and there's little evidence of that.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24716

66. I don't know. Two, maybe three if one wears out. How many shoes do you need?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24720

67. Who are you talking to?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24722

68. She's not here, Jim.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24724

69. Wait, shut up.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24730

70. Shh. Do you hear that?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24732

71. Breathing. Is that you?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24734

72. Well, stop. Hold your breath. I still hear it. Who's there? Kelly, is that you? Hold on.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24736

73. Ha!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24738

74. Hear anything interesting?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24740

75. I think you know.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24742

76. What are you up to, girl? Huh? Phyllis put you up to this? Stanley? Are they paying you?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24744

77. Of course I am. I know you're the mastermind, but you're too stupid to do it by yourself.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24746

78. Ah!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24748

79. OK.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24750

80. The reason that I got bad customer reviews is because I didn't! There is a massive conspiracy going on here, and I know you're involved.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24753

81. No.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24788

82. No. Why? No.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24790

83. Oh, man, I knew it. Who are her co-conspirators?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24792

84. Obviously. I knew it.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24794

85. Yeah. What?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24796

86. I was -- I was right.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24798

87. I was right.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24800

88. I knew it.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24802

89. I knew it the whole time, buddy!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24804

90. Yeah! Woo-hoo!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24806

91. I knew it! Yeah! Ha-ha! Woo! Boom! Kelly the whole time. Let's get her.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24808

92. Let me paint you a picture of a little girl from southern India, who despite being welcomed into this country will now spend the rest of her life in prison for a crime she did commit.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24813

93. Oh, come on. You juked the stats, cupcake.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24816

94. We have our confession. I'm calling security.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24824

95. I want to be here when you fire her ass.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24830

96. Is that the Matsuhashi B-400? The world's tiniest Bluetooth? May I?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24857

97. Congratulations on choosing Schrute Farms for your wedding.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24859

98. Well, then. Why don't you look over some of our materials?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24861

99. While I describe to you the Excalibur package. In addition to the breathtaking natural beauty and smell of Schrute Farms, I can promise you that our grounds can be catered to fit your exact specifications. I will work tirelessly for you over the coming months and be at your constant disposal. Please feel free to call or stop by, any time of the day or night.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24863

100. While you, my good friend, have nothing more to worry about. This wedding is officially out of your hands.

     Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24865