thedundies.com

Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 118)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 118 of 122

  1. Oh, no, so close. Oh. No, we can't do that. We can't do this. Ohh.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43089

  2. I don't know what your body feels like 'cause I can't touch it.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43091

  3. Grab you here.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43094

  4. I will grab you here anyway.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43096

  5. Never.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43099

  6. I did say I would, but I was wrong. I can't stop. You don't what it is like to love a woman and have her love you back. It is a feeling that cannot and will not, and frankly, cannot be contained.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43101

  7. Yes, it was that. It's that one.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43105

  8. We're not supposed to PDA.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43108

  9. I haven't thought about you having to go back to Nashua.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43110

  10. That's what we said last time. Remember? We broke up on the drive. How's this gonna be any different?

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43112

  11. I was in love with you.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43114

  12. [chuckles, sighs]

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43116

  13. It's like a time bomb...

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43125

  14. ...is ticking down. When it goes off, no more kissing. No more hugging.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43127

  15. Sexual time bomb.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43129

  16. Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or we go against type with an Eisenberg or a Michael Cera.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43131

  17. No. Saving the world has never been this hard.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43133

  18. No, I can't talk to her. I can't even look at her without thinking about it ending.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43135

  19. Do the monkey face.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43139

  20. I love that. I love that face.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43141

  21. No. The monkey!

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43143

  22. Don't do the squirrel. Throw your poop.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43145

  23. That's good.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43147

  24. That's good. He's throwing it.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43149

  25. I know.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43151

  26. Holly. Hey.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43160

  27. Holly, I love you so, so, so much. And I think we need to break up.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43162

  28. Actually, it's Valentine's Day. Shouldn't be doing this today. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43164

  29. You're gonna go back to Nashua eventually, and I can't handle it. So let's just...let's...

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43166

  30. Who?

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43168

  31. Okay. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43170

  32. Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. As of today, officially, Holly and I are moving into together. Yay! Thank you. Thank you. Oscar, this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love, my friend!

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43171

  33. Well, the point is, there will no longer be any need for PDA here at the office between us because, when we get home, we are going to make love to and with one another, and that, to me, is the best Valentine's Day present that a person could receive. So I bid you all adieu.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43174

  34. I do.

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43176

  35. What are our plans for tonight? Umm...

    Season 7 · Episode 15 · Line 43188

  36. After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie, Threat Level: Midnight.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43190

  37. Erin... what are you doing?

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43191

  38. That's... That's. Well, don't put words in my mouth.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43193

  39. Sweet, I will go invite Holly.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43199

  40. Mhmm! It's got action, it's got heart, it's got some bosom.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43203

  41. It's got a lot of me.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43205

  42. Ladies and gentleman, Threat Level: Midnight.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43207

  43. Dwight does not play a robot.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43209

  44. By far and away, the most expensive shot in the movie. But, it was integral to the story.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43214

  45. That was not scripted.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43215

  46. [turns off the movie from the remote, the office complains]

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43218

  47. Well that's a... pretty good reaction. Pretty cool, right? Did you like it? Did you like that?

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43224

  48. Okay. No, it's not good enough. It's not good enough...

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43226

  49. Hey.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43228

  50. Mmmm, good? Everybody out there says it's great!

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43230

  51. Did you? What did you love about it?

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43232

  52. No, no. Holly, this isn't Ocean's Eleven, where you get together with all your friends and just have fun and don't care about how it turns out. What'd you really think, honestly.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43234

  53. Is it, is it because you're afraid of where this is gonna take me? See, because I need you... to keep me grounded.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43236

  54. It was eleven years, okay? This has been my dream for eleven years, and if you don't think it's great than you're basically saying that you don't believe in my dream.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43238

  55. I talk about a lot of things, Holly! I was eventually gonna get around to my dream! Obviously! Eleven years I could've been working on the Scarn Nebulus.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43240

  56. Because, if I don't have this, what do I have? I have nothing.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43242

  57. I have my book on business, Somehow I Manage. I have my HBO comedy special, Here I Go Again dot-dot-dot. But you know what? When I think about it, when I really think about it, none of those things are as real to me as my movie.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43244

  58. Yeah, you're a real pain in the ass. And I'm gonna go watch the movie with people who think it's great! And I'm sorry I called you a pain in the ass, I'm angry, and I love you.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43246

  59. I am a huge Woody Allen fan. Although I've only seen Antz, but I'll tell you something. What I respect about that man, is that when he was going through all that stuff that came out in the press, about how Antz was just a rip-off of A Bug's Life, he stayed true to his films. Or at least the film that I saw which again was Antz. The thing is... I thought Bug's Life was better, much better. Than Ants. The point is, don't listen to your critics, listen to your fans.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43248

  60. Who likes Threat Level: Midnight? Okay then who wants to watch the rest?!

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43249

  61. We filmed this during an actual Scranton High School Hockey Game, trying to qualify for states.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43250

  62. No, no! Actually it's really screwed up because they, they were trying to qualify, they were disqualified, they had to forfeit the game. Undefeated season. That's why there were so many people there.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43252

  63. Hey...

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43253

  64. No it's not. It's not. But, they really seem to be enjoying it.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43255

  65. [laughs at the stupidity]

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43256

  66. Oh yeah, I guess I did let him be a robot.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43257

  67. Oh yeah! Yes he is!

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43259

  68. No, no Dwight. He's just being stupid.

    Season 7 · Episode 16 · Line 43261

  69. Still not seeing the problem here.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43284

  70. It was the best of times, it was the awesomest of times. And now Packer wants to come home. And ohh, look who's here to sign off on it! My boo, Holly.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43286

  71. Hi.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43288

  72. Oh, Michael! This'll be just us.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43293

  73. Oh, yes yes yes yes. Just so you know, he's at his funniest when you've given him five shots.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43294

  74. And it also helps if you've had five shots.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43296

  75. Whoa!

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43298

  76. Is Packer here?

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43300

  77. Don't know, don't care.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43302

  78. Yes! The Pack is back! Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to a man who needs no introduction, probably because most of you have done it with him. Just kidding he wouldn't be interested in any of you. In all seriousness, Todd Packer, is a permanent salesman at this branch. And I would like to invite you to welcome him with open arms.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43305

  79. You did! You got burned, because Packer's back! Packer is turning in his car for a desk. He is turning in his condoms, for a condominium! Although he's probably going to have to use condoms from here on out.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43310

  80. Special delivery for Dwight K. Schrute.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43327

  81. And I don't have anything for you. But I do wanna talk to you about something. We have been thinking about where Packer should sit... And we can't just sit around and wait for Creed to die.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43329

  82. So you wouldn't mind permanently relocating, so that Packer can take this desk here.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43331

  83. Let's look at this.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43337

  84. Don't be a baby! Okay! There it is. Packer was here and so was your mom! [Todd starts humping Dwight and Michael who are still under the desk.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43340

  85. No!

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43342

  86. Best day ever. Best day ever!

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43409

  87. Question, should I get stripes shaved on the side of my head?

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43411

  88. Please.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43413

  89. Yeah, You love him right? You love him. I can tell.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43415

  90. No. Not me, him.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43417

  91. Whoa! Look, are you jealous of him? Because you think he's funnier than you? Oh honey...

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43421

  92. He's funnier than me.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43423

  93. So I'm less funny than not funny at all?

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43425

  94. Uhm...

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43428

  95. That's insane!

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43430

  96. And you made Hank smile, that doesn't happen often. You're very charming. That is something you should take upstairs, and use on people that really matter.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43483

  97. I don't know, Holly mentioned that there were some complaints. And that you had said some things about Kevin.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43485

  98. Yeah.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43487

  99. I guess you said something weird about your daughter?

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43489

  100. You've been on the road a long time. And you've been an outdoor cat. And now you have to be an indoor cat, so you can't be peeing all over the walls.

    Season 7 · Episode 17 · Line 43491