Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 36)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 36 of 40

1. Did you maybe tell them that or...?

   Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53973

2. Could you just call them and tell them the truth? 'Cause I know it's really stupid, but it's also really, really, really important.

   Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53975

3. Love you too.

   Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 53977

4. Yo! Bad boys of a capella.

   Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54002

5. Heard any good stories lately? Or new twists on old stories?

   Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54004

6. Did he tell you how I got the name?

   Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54006

7. Spring sing '95. Got completely ripped on Bud Dries. I had sex with a snowman. I just went at that thing. Cold would have stopped most people but I stayed locked in, you know. Took the face off. It just seemed easier that way.

   Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54008

8. They didn't know about the snowman story, and when I told 'em, they were not impressed.

   Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54020

9. Right?

   Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54022

10. Ladies and gentlemen, Here Comes Treble!

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54074

11. Oh Man!

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54097

12. No. Do not sing that. Do not... Oh man...

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54107

13. Whoa! Whoa! What the hell is Broccoli Rob doing here?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54111

14. That's my signature song.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54113

15. Russell, I'm dressed like George Michael.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54115

16. Wha...?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54117

17. Shut up, Broccoli.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54121

18. You thought I wanted to sit in the audience like some slutty Treb rat? A man's signature solo is his for life, okay? That's group policy and you know it.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54123

19. Just don't do the song anymore.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54125

20. Fine, go ahead. Thrash your pipes.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54127

21. I knew you would go there, you son of a bitch!

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54129

22. OK, fine, yeah. that's one guy's opinion!

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54131

23. Doesn't mean you're the best singer ever. Dick.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54134

24. This is all so silly right? What am I gonna do? Move back to Cornell?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54147

25. I mean, what if we did that? Like we got jobs and we were happy all the time?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54149

26. Duh. I know. That would be insane.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54151

27. It could totally work though. I don't know why we wouldn't. Oh my god are we doing this?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54153

28. If I am not Boner Champ, I don't know who I am.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54155

29. Make a donation.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54157

30. Yes. I am gonna make a donation. And it just so happens that I know someone who works at the Bernard Family Foundation. Her name is mom.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54159

31. Mom, I had this really charitable idea to set up this scholarship for a capella kids at Cornell and just need to wire some money over there. What?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54168

32. My parents are broke.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54170

33. Alright, good. Yeah. Just sell it and get the best price you can, okay?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54173

34. White, I'm not a day trader, I'm just a first responder in a disaster.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54175

35. Are the 'Nard's hurting? Yeah, you bet. Got kicked pretty hard. Family shattered, super sad. But, I'm kinda crushing it in the damage control department. So, that's cool. I wish my dad could see me now. Of course he caused this whole mess, so, him.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54181

36. Yeah. He's in rehab actually.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54193

37. No, it's in New Mexico.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54195

38. We're done Meredith.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54197

39. Alright, guys. A lot of assets here that my dad couldn't steal. Now, first of all, there is the family boat. 43 foot Tartan Sloop. My lawyer has lined up a buyer in the Bahamas, the sale would cover the cost of a condo and living expenses for my mom.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54203

40. Totally, except it is a no go. This boat was the heart and soul of the family. So...what else we got? Non-boat ideas.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54206

41. Alright, what's the grand total? Did we make our nut?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54214

42. Guys, you don't understand, this boat's been in our family since before I was born.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54216

43. Alright, uh...alright. I'm gonna tell the lawyer to pull the trigger on the boat.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54221

44. Yes the boat means everything to my family, but we need the money. Got the memories, don't need the boat. Can't cry about it. What are you gonna do? Cry about it? Excuse me.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54222

45. Uh, did you need something?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54237

46. Ok. thanks.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54239

47. Look, it's not that I don't want-

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54251

48. All I ever wanted to do was sail the damn thing. But dad wouldn't let me. Said 'You can't be a skipper until you're a man.' You know, I'd reach for the wheel and he'd smack my hand away. Well guess what? Now I'm the man of the family and... we're selling the damn thing. So I'm never gonna have the chance.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54253

49. Tonight.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54255

50. Yeah right. It's in Stamford, Connecticut. We have to leave like right now.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54257

51. Yeah, ok.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54259

52. Seriously?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54261

53. Alright.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54263

54. Let's do it.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54265

55. That's the family boat!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54337

56. Right?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54339

57. Sorry?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54342

58. Sure, I um..I didn't know.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54344

59. Ok.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54346

60. Geez, a little bit. How you doing old buddy? Missed you.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54348

61. It raises the main sail. That was my job when we went sailing.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54350

62. Really?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54352

63. Up she goes!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54354

64. Oh, it's OK. My girlfriend and I were actually gonna take her for a little spin and a picnic before you guys head out tonight. You know what? Get some dinner on me.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54356

65. You got it. You know what then, we'll just take it for a quick little spin around the harbor.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54358

66. You know what? Chill, ok? I own the boat. Not gonna sue myself. Alright, so just- wow.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54360

67. Ok, fine.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54362

68. Yeah, fine.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54364

69. Good stuff. Nice stuff. Damn it! Screw you dad! ..ah.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54366

70. I've had a thousand picnics on this boat. The point was for me to sail it.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54368

71. Fine. But I could have.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54370

72. I am the captain.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54372

73. Right?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54374

74. I'm the captain. Hey, charm school.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54376

75. I'm taking it over from here.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54378

76. Yeah, I know cause I'm sailing it there.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54381

77. Fine. Good. Keep it. Just leave the supplies, I paid for those. But how much for that cool fisherman sweater?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54383

78. Yeah. Yeah I know how to hoist the mail sail, I know to...I, I, these buttons control boat pumps and stuff. I also know where the booze stash is. So, hello. Walt?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54391

79. I thought you were in rehab.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54393

80. I didn't. I, I just came to say goodbye to the boat. But I've decided to sail it to Bermuda.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54395

81. Same thing. Come on. I need a crew. You should be my crew. Three weeks, open ocean, no booze. You need this. I need it, we need this. Serious bro time, come on.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54397

82. Alright guys, cast us off. Walt, all aboard! Erin, this is because of you. Do you realize that? You're the best ever!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54431

83. Good? Come on. Above and beyond. World's Greatest. You did this! Dammit I'm happy!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54433

84. I'll see you in three weeks!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54435

85. No way!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54438

86. Erin I gotta go!Them's my chords!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54440

87. Ah, what else? I've seen Dirty Dancing like, ten times. Breaks my heart every time, you know?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54454

88. That Swayze sure can dance dirty.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54457

89. No, Walter J has been hoarding it. You want to worry about a part of my body, worry about my eyes. They're like two flaming meatballs in my skull.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54459

90. Check this out. Keeps my hair out of my stare, also helps me combat the glare bear. That's what I call the sun now.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54461

91. What else can I show you? Oh, damn it!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54463

92. Yeah, it was. That's okay though. I got this cool desalinator device. It sucks up sea water through this hose and pumps out fresh water. See, check it out. Ow!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54465

93. Ah! That's not good. I better sign off. I hate to get going. I mean these skype sessions are, like, the only thing that keep me sane out here, you know?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54467

94. I will leave you with this. The image of a man and his boat. Burn this into your brains.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54469

95. No. No! Nooo!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54471

96. Hi Dwight.

    Season 9 · Episode 15 · Quote 56779

97. Well, well, well, look who it is.

    Season 9 · Episode 15 · Quote 56782

98. I guess I can cancel my order from Zappos.com because, oh, the loafers have arrived.

    Season 9 · Episode 15 · Quote 56784

99. Hey! Sweetheart! I have missed you so much.

    Season 9 · Episode 15 · Quote 56786

100. I have been dreaming of this moment.

     Season 9 · Episode 15 · Quote 56788