Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 34)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 34 of 40

1. Well, but it-

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52648

2. I just want you guys not to worry. 'Cause old Andy's gonna be just fine.

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52682

3. No. That is not the deal. Calibrate.

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52687

4. That's not true either! That's also total- Everyone, please relax. I think you're gonna like this surprise guest.

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52689

5. Huh? Hold on.

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52693

6. I just gonna- quick- Hello? Hey, what's the scoop? Are you close? What? No. no, no, no, no, no. You have to come now. Traffic clears? No, next Friday... that's not gonna work. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Damn it! Well, this is not going to be quite as delicious as I wanted, but I do have a very tasty announcement for you guys. Not only am I not a lowly janitor, I am the regional manager once again! Guys, I got my old job back!

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52695

7. I'm not crazy. I convinced David Wallace to give me my job back.

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52699

8. Okay, yes, I see the confusion. I saw David at the fundraiser. He is now a multi-millionaire because he sold his toy vacuum 'Suck It' to the U.S. military.

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52701

9. I- I- Okay, I get how that sounds crazy.

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52704

10. Stop saying my name.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52706

11. Thank you, Erin.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52708

12. Erin, come- Come on. You know I've been talking to David Wallace.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52712

13. Yeah, I know.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52718

14. What? Thought I heard my name. What? I'm the new manager?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52726

15. But it's- it is- it is me? Right?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52728

16. What?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52730

17. Oh my God!

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52732

18. Wow. From janitor to manager?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52734

19. That's quite a Cinderella story. From M-O-P to M-V-P.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52736

20. From total loss to total boss, I mean-

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52738

21. I was so looking forward to that and it did not... go as I thought it would.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52741

22. Guess I'd better take off these dirty rags. Figure out how to be a manager of this place.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52753

23. Gosh, I hope so.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52755

24. Looks like I might get my delicious moment after all.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52764

25. It would be rude of me not to let you say whatever's on your mind.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52766

26. No.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52768

27. Do not bring Shakespeare into this. How dare you play the bard card?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52770

28. I just want one motherdelicious moment. Is that too much to ask?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52772

29. If I were to hire you back. If. What do you think you would do well?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52773

30. All right, you sly bastard. When can you start?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52775

31. Gymnasts? You're going to seek out uneducated gymnasts?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52782

32. Mm. Mm-hmm.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52784

33. Hey! Wow, I thought about this place a lot when I was on solo. Three days on a mountain, it'll change you. The things we think we need. Clocks, yeah right!

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52842

34. What're you still doing here?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52844

35. You know I had this really funny dream during Outward Bound that you died.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52846

36. See me in my office later. The new guys, alright. It's Clark and, um'

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52848

37. In Outward Bound it was all about nicknames. They called me Iceman. You will be called Plop.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52850

38. Cause you're always taking dumps.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52852

39. Come on, everybody defecates. Relax, Plop. And you will be called Fart cause you fart all the time.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52854

40. No, Dwight Jr. Infinitely better. You guys look exactly alike. Dwight go stand next to him. This is insane.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52858

41. Whoa! Mind blown. It's like father and son! Dwight, you cool if we call him Dwight Jr?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52861

42. Dwight, Jr!

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52863

43. David, outward bound was incredible. I was the best at slack lining, I ate a worm.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52876

44. Yeah, I gotta go David. Why is Nellie still here?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52879

45. Mm, then I will make up a cause.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52881

46. Then forget I just told you that.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52883

47. Now I know why Michael hated you so much.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52885

48. I wanted to talk to you about our working relationship this year. It's going to be terrible.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52925

49. No I'm going to make sure that it is. And if it isn't, I'm going to take immediate action to rectify that. Now, I don't like to throw around the b-word, but I'm going to be a huge bitch to you.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52927

50. Now this is called slack lining.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52928

51. I set up the old slack line to teach the office the skills of focus and discipline. Or in the case of certain individuals, the skills of humiliation and looking really dumb.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52929

52. If you make it all the way across, your confidence will soar. But, if you Toby out, then you'll feel like a real Nellie. How about a hand, screw those guys. Now, these are my actual Outward Bound counselors, Rafe and Feather.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52930

53. That's me. The powder is for your protection, Feather has permanent athlete's foot. Feather, show them how you dance upon the line of slack.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52932

54. All right, who's next? Nellie?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52943

55. Nonsense. Get up here.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52945

56. Come on. Uh, are you gonna wear your heels?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52947

57. Ok, sure. There ya go. Atta girl. Hey, alright. Whoa! You suck. Alright, who's next? Darryl?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52949

58. Dwight Jr? This looks like your speed.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52951

59. Yeah, come on. Get up here. Just hop on up.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52953

60. Focus on the horizon. Whoa! Look at this guy.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52955

61. Hey, yes.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52958

62. Alright. Let me show you how a real man walks across a flaccid cord.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52961

63. Ooh! Who ordered the hot apple fail?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52962

64. Well it's official. Old Dwight is lame and New Dwight is cool.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52965

65. There are two things that I am passionate about. Recycling and revenge.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53022

66. Bugh, boring. All she talks about is chores.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53030

67. Uh, correction, I give to a foundation that teaches homeless children nautical flag signaling. Changes lives.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53089

68. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for the preservation of nautical flag signaling.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53091

69. Clark wants to film you in different outfits inside his apartment?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53175

70. Clark, you and I need to have a little chat. What clothes does Erin need for this news audition?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53177

71. Really?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53179

72. Thank god someone here knows what their talking about. I want you to take this credit card, take Erin to the mall and get that stuff.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53183

73. Awesome. Plop!

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53185

74. Her body. We're gonna talk about her body. Good. Great job.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53211

75. Erin has an audition to be a newscaster.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53213

76. Uh-huh. And I want her to feel very comfortable in her very sexy skin. So, everybody say something that you like about her body. All right? Darryl.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53214

77. Yeah, right?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53216

78. Yeah.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53218

79. News flash everyone. The human race finds attractive people more trustworthy.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53220

80. She's gonna be amazing. Look at her. She's gonna light up the screen.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53226

81. I love it. It's fantastic. Now, tag it with your name.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53236

82. Pause after 'news'.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53238

83. No, pause longer.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53240

84. Pause, pause longer. OK? Builds suspense. Don't be shy.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53242

85. Wha, it's-

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53244

86. OK. All right. Great. Some great stuff in there.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53246

87. Yeah.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53273

88. All right!

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53275

89. Nice.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53277

90. Wow. You know what they say Erin. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53281

91. He sure did.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53283

92. Just, you sure Clark?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53286

93. No, I just, I don't mean Erin. I mean for me. I didn't feel good about that.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53288

94. I don't think we did get it. I could do, uh, a couple more takes. We could do it in close-up. That might even be better for editing.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53291

95. All right.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53293

96. Uh, Pete, you wanna take Erin to get a burger or something?

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53295

97. OK. I'll call you later.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53297

98. So this is a single.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53299

99. Nellie! Get your wrinkly old balls in here.

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Quote 53356

100. Executive-summary me. Hit the highlights.

     Season 9 · Episode 3 · Quote 53364