Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 33)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 33 of 40

1. Why don't you take a seat, you idiot?

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2. And your stupid face! And your stupid office! Ah!

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3. That would actually be cool. I'd love for you to meet some of the guys.

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4. No.

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5. I'm saying no.

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6. No.

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7. No.

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8. No.

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9. No.

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10. No.

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11. I can't describe it. I just, for the first time in a long time, I actually feel in control. I feel... alive.

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12. Ah- da, da, da, da. I got it.

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13. I... Got... It.

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14. Yes.

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15. Hey!

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16. What?

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17. guys, everything is fine! I'm just here to pick up Erin. We're going to the Fundraiser.

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18. Why would that be weird?

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19. Hello! Did anyone order a blast from the past, with a side order of sexy?

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20. Oh, Wanna shake my hand, huh? Cause I want to shake your body! I had you, I had you!

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21. Where do I look? It's been so long since I did one of these things? Okay, alright! What's the question? How am I doing? Umm... Great!

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22. What haven't I been doing? Gosh, just today I was working on this rock opera that I'm writing, though it feels more like I'm receiving it than writing it.

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23. The hero lives in this dystopian future and he flies around in a spaceship that's shaped like a treble clef. And he has to sing his heart out to destroy all evil.

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24. Ehh, a little better than alright, actually. Really good!

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25. Bobby! Bobbo! You're a rock opera guy, right? You like rock operas?

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26. You gotta check out this thing I'm working on, it's really cool. There's this character Thomas Oregon, and he wants to destroy all the guitars in the world because he realizes that music is the one thing he can't control.

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27. Evil! although he's humanized in the end because he weeps uncontrolably and pees in his pants.

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28. Me, I guess. We're flying so high, we're crackin' the sky! Gonna fly out of this dome my girlfriend and I!

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29. You're being a Thomas Oregon!

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30. Don't need you to pay for me. I'm doing just fine, thank you. Why don't you quit harshing our mellow?

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31. Excuse me. I would like to purchase two seats at another table, please.

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32. then I'll take a table!

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33. And a high five! Oh, let's do this again!

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34. Oh, yes indeed... When! Whoa, whoa, whoa! You forgot a few salads! When!

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35. Hey... David Wallace!

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36. Hey, how are you?

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37. No, got canned last week.

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38. No, best thing that ever happened to me.

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39. Yikes!

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40. can you believe this guy?

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41. Not a joke. That was not even a joke.

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42. I will! I will take all of those dogs!

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43. No, no, no. This guy can talk and talk all he wants, but it's not that complicated.

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44. No, no, no, it's about being there for someone after it's become inconvenient for them to be around. Hello everyone, I am Andy Bernard and I am going to take that bitch home! That is a female dog reference. This bitch understands loyalty! Sassy human reference thank you, I will take Bella and every single one of her friends!

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45. Okay! Hope you all learned something!

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46. I'm so ready to love all of these animals. This one's even bonding with me already.

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47. Stupid dog.

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48. so it just goes on under here like this?

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49. Ugh, oh god!

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50. I am so great!

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51. This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me

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52. You're right. he's right, I am a mess. This whole night I've been trying to convince you guys that I'm fine. I guess I thought that if I could convince you that I'm fine, maybe--

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53. Yes! And also, focusing on the positive. Like I got a lot of good things going on!

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54. Yeah, I do. I have that.

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55. Yes, I am! Thank you, Kev!

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56. Morning.

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57. Somebody left in such a hurry this morning that she forgot' these.

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58. You know the only thing more delicious than your feet is the feast that I am going to prepare for everyone.

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59. What's this?

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60. Is this Robert's attempt to embarrass me?

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61. Why is it when other people spend all their time at the office, they're rewarded for it, and when I do it, I am told it's a little much? 'Is it because I am not an employee anymore, because that's what it feels like.

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62. Lot going on guys. What's happening?

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63. That was a fine branch. Things are really bad under Robert California, I guess. It's like a festival of poo.

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64. Uh, cherries jubilee over homemade gelato.

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65. Sorry, not Jim.

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66. Message received loud and clear. Just have to get the caramelized sugar off the pan before it dries.

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67. I forgot, a' a pan, uh '

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68. Some bizarre energy in this place today. Robert is going off the rails, making some funky decisions. Like why is nobody gonna call on Prestige? That is a huge client. I mean, they could give their business to the first person to walk in the door. Could be any idiot. Any idiot at all.

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69. Hello. Andy Bernard to see the C.E.O.

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70. No, I do not.

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71. Seriously? 'Cause I could just be anyone. I mean, I thought I was gonna have to convince you.

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72. I'm a former paper executive. I know the product. I know the margins. I can save you 25% on your costs.

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73. No. I'm a rogue.

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74. Which is the best part. That means you will be my first customer and your business will get 100% of my attention. Now' I have written down my personal phone number. You call this anytime.

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75. Of course they have. Which is why I'm giving you a key to my house. Whatever you need ' anytime, night or day ' you just stop on by.

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76. Maybe you just want someone to talk to. Maybe' you need a place to crash for a couple of days. My wireless password is eat pray love. Easy to remember.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52397

77. Yes, yes, yes!

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78. You once put me on a list of the losers in the office. Well, this loser just got your biggest client to give him all their business. So hire me back, that business is yours. Don't, and I will find another buyer.

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79. It's just business.

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80. Whoa. Well I gave him a chance.

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81. You got a minute?

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82. I wanted to see if I could interest you in an investment. Dunder Mifflin.

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83. Exactly. And you know better than anyone that with the right management it could be worth twice what you would pay for it today.

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84. Hi guys.

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85. I'm- I'm good, thank you. And how are you?

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86. Look, I'm not here to get my old job back. I had my opportunity, I blew it, I'm moving on. I just wanted to come in here and literally beg you for something, anything. I will sweep the floors, water the plants...

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87. Clean the toilets.

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88. Pull the poop out of the toilets.

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89. Just, please...

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90. Please!

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91. Give me something!

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92. Thank you.

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93. Thank you.

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94. I have a delicious secret.

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95. Yeah, it is actually.

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96. Mmm, I can't hold it in any longer. Um, I am faking this, okay? Because I convinced David Wallace to buy Dunder Mifflin back from Sabre. And at three o'clock today he's gonna walk in here and reinstate me as manager.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52576

97. This is getting more and more delicious by the minute. It's go time.

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98. Hey Nellie, I made soup - I made you some soup.

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99. But it's really good- Oh!

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100. A delicious moment.

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