Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 33)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 33 of 40

1. Why don't you take a seat, you idiot?

   Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51896

2. And your stupid face! And your stupid office! Ah!

   Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51898

3. That would actually be cool. I'd love for you to meet some of the guys.

   Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51901

4. No.

   Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51924

5. I'm saying no.

   Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51926

6. No.

   Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51928

7. No.

   Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51955

8. No.

   Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51957

9. No.

   Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51959

10. No.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51961

11. I can't describe it. I just, for the first time in a long time, I actually feel in control. I feel... alive.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51962

12. Ah- da, da, da, da. I got it.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51964

13. I... Got... It.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51966

14. Yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51968

15. Hey!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52025

16. What?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52028

17. guys, everything is fine! I'm just here to pick up Erin. We're going to the Fundraiser.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52030

18. Why would that be weird?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52033

19. Hello! Did anyone order a blast from the past, with a side order of sexy?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52048

20. Oh, Wanna shake my hand, huh? Cause I want to shake your body! I had you, I had you!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52051

21. Where do I look? It's been so long since I did one of these things? Okay, alright! What's the question? How am I doing? Umm... Great!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52052

22. What haven't I been doing? Gosh, just today I was working on this rock opera that I'm writing, though it feels more like I'm receiving it than writing it.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52060

23. The hero lives in this dystopian future and he flies around in a spaceship that's shaped like a treble clef. And he has to sing his heart out to destroy all evil.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52062

24. Ehh, a little better than alright, actually. Really good!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52064

25. Bobby! Bobbo! You're a rock opera guy, right? You like rock operas?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52071

26. You gotta check out this thing I'm working on, it's really cool. There's this character Thomas Oregon, and he wants to destroy all the guitars in the world because he realizes that music is the one thing he can't control.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52073

27. Evil! although he's humanized in the end because he weeps uncontrolably and pees in his pants.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52075

28. Me, I guess. We're flying so high, we're crackin' the sky! Gonna fly out of this dome my girlfriend and I!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52077

29. You're being a Thomas Oregon!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52080

30. Don't need you to pay for me. I'm doing just fine, thank you. Why don't you quit harshing our mellow?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52082

31. Excuse me. I would like to purchase two seats at another table, please.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52084

32. then I'll take a table!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52086

33. And a high five! Oh, let's do this again!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52088

34. Oh, yes indeed... When! Whoa, whoa, whoa! You forgot a few salads! When!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52089

35. Hey... David Wallace!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52106

36. Hey, how are you?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52108

37. No, got canned last week.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52110

38. No, best thing that ever happened to me.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52112

39. Yikes!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52114

40. can you believe this guy?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52137

41. Not a joke. That was not even a joke.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52139

42. I will! I will take all of those dogs!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52141

43. No, no, no. This guy can talk and talk all he wants, but it's not that complicated.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52143

44. No, no, no, it's about being there for someone after it's become inconvenient for them to be around. Hello everyone, I am Andy Bernard and I am going to take that bitch home! That is a female dog reference. This bitch understands loyalty! Sassy human reference thank you, I will take Bella and every single one of her friends!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52145

45. Okay! Hope you all learned something!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52148

46. I'm so ready to love all of these animals. This one's even bonding with me already.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52150

47. Stupid dog.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52152

48. so it just goes on under here like this?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52180

49. Ugh, oh god!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52182

50. I am so great!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52185

51. This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52189

52. You're right. he's right, I am a mess. This whole night I've been trying to convince you guys that I'm fine. I guess I thought that if I could convince you that I'm fine, maybe--

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52193

53. Yes! And also, focusing on the positive. Like I got a lot of good things going on!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52197

54. Yeah, I do. I have that.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52199

55. Yes, I am! Thank you, Kev!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52203

56. Morning.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52243

57. Somebody left in such a hurry this morning that she forgot' these.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52245

58. You know the only thing more delicious than your feet is the feast that I am going to prepare for everyone.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52247

59. What's this?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52249

60. Is this Robert's attempt to embarrass me?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52251

61. Why is it when other people spend all their time at the office, they're rewarded for it, and when I do it, I am told it's a little much? 'Is it because I am not an employee anymore, because that's what it feels like.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52253

62. Lot going on guys. What's happening?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52261

63. That was a fine branch. Things are really bad under Robert California, I guess. It's like a festival of poo.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52263

64. Uh, cherries jubilee over homemade gelato.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52295

65. Sorry, not Jim.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52322

66. Message received loud and clear. Just have to get the caramelized sugar off the pan before it dries.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52324

67. I forgot, a' a pan, uh '

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52330

68. Some bizarre energy in this place today. Robert is going off the rails, making some funky decisions. Like why is nobody gonna call on Prestige? That is a huge client. I mean, they could give their business to the first person to walk in the door. Could be any idiot. Any idiot at all.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52343

69. Hello. Andy Bernard to see the C.E.O.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52370

70. No, I do not.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52372

71. Seriously? 'Cause I could just be anyone. I mean, I thought I was gonna have to convince you.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52374

72. I'm a former paper executive. I know the product. I know the margins. I can save you 25% on your costs.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52389

73. No. I'm a rogue.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52391

74. Which is the best part. That means you will be my first customer and your business will get 100% of my attention. Now' I have written down my personal phone number. You call this anytime.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52393

75. Of course they have. Which is why I'm giving you a key to my house. Whatever you need ' anytime, night or day ' you just stop on by.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52395

76. Maybe you just want someone to talk to. Maybe' you need a place to crash for a couple of days. My wireless password is eat pray love. Easy to remember.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52397

77. Yes, yes, yes!

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52426

78. You once put me on a list of the losers in the office. Well, this loser just got your biggest client to give him all their business. So hire me back, that business is yours. Don't, and I will find another buyer.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52482

79. It's just business.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52484

80. Whoa. Well I gave him a chance.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52486

81. You got a minute?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52488

82. I wanted to see if I could interest you in an investment. Dunder Mifflin.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52490

83. Exactly. And you know better than anyone that with the right management it could be worth twice what you would pay for it today.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52492

84. Hi guys.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52550

85. I'm- I'm good, thank you. And how are you?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52552

86. Look, I'm not here to get my old job back. I had my opportunity, I blew it, I'm moving on. I just wanted to come in here and literally beg you for something, anything. I will sweep the floors, water the plants...

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52556

87. Clean the toilets.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52558

88. Pull the poop out of the toilets.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52560

89. Just, please...

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52562

90. Please!

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52564

91. Give me something!

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52566

92. Thank you.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52568

93. Thank you.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52570

94. I have a delicious secret.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52572

95. Yeah, it is actually.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52575

96. Mmm, I can't hold it in any longer. Um, I am faking this, okay? Because I convinced David Wallace to buy Dunder Mifflin back from Sabre. And at three o'clock today he's gonna walk in here and reinstate me as manager.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52576

97. This is getting more and more delicious by the minute. It's go time.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52640

98. Hey Nellie, I made soup - I made you some soup.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52641

99. But it's really good- Oh!

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52643

100. A delicious moment.

     Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52646