Receptionist turned office administrator and Michael Scott Paper Company co-founder.
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Andy.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54456
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Can you go instead?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54507
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You've got this Schrute.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54543
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Oh, I'll be the buyer.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54552
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Hello, Mr. Schrute, nice to see you. Please have a seat.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54554
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Okay, let's stop here. Anyone have any thoughts?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54558
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Okay, when you're selling to women, it is crucial that you listen, Dwight. Also you want to respect their... Are you listening now?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54578
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Okay, well you have to show us.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54580
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Huh. Uh huh.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54582
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A little smile and a nod shows that I hear you. Got it?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54584
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Nellie, why don't you tell Dwight what we were doing earlier today. And Dwight, you show us that you're listening.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54586
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Ten years ago, I didn't care if Dwight got married or died a beet-farming bachelor. But having kids makes you so soft. I used to watch Pulp Fiction and laugh, and now I'm like, that poor gimp is somebody's child.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54604
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You know, I think there could be a lot of benefits if you could learn to get along with women.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54605
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Dwight, listen to me. Businesswomen are just normal, nice, reasonable people. Who is a nice, reasonable person in your experience?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54607
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Okay, so, when you're selling to this woman, just imagine that she's that nice, reasonable barber.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54609
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Mm-hmm. Good. Baby steps.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54611
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Like, he used to make dogs fight? Or he actually fought dogs?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54613
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Oh, great. Oh, I'm sorry. Do you mind telling me her name? I realized we don't have it.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54640
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Okay, great.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54642
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Oh my God. It's Jan.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54644
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Jan used to be one of my superiors, and she is one of the most erratic and terrifying people I have ever met.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54646
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Jim and I are pretty sure she had an affair with her ex-assistant Hunter. He was 17. But she looks great. If she asks, will you tell her I said that?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54648
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Forget everything we taught you. Hey, Jan! It's so great to see you.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54649
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What?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54651
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Sorry. Um, David is in Vermont. Did you speak with him? He sent Dwight instead.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54654
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So this was all just a trick. You don't really have any business to give?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54665
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But not to us.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54667
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You did good, Dwight. It's okay. I mean, seriously, Jan's not normal. Let's just go. She's not going to sell to us.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54669
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What?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54671
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Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54673
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Yeah. Um, do you have any other pictures of Astrid?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54675
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Wow. Your voice is as lovely as ever.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54690
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And it is so cute how she signs her name.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54692
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Oh, okay. It's just that's how Cece does it with the backwards 'E's.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54694
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Oh, actually she can.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54696
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Of course.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54698
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Um... 'A'... 'X'? I don't -- you got me.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54700
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I'm so sorry. I hate this. You're better.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54702
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Mm. Excuse me. Could I get some more water?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54709
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Oh, my God.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54712
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Okay, you do not have to do this.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54718
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Oh, hey, Molly. You should just quit.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54739
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Dwight, that was really nice. You should ask for her number.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54742
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That's a license number?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54744
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Oh. Why me?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54746
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These are my painting clothes.I think I'm gonna do it. I am really gonna start painting the warehouse mural today.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54760
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Are you avoiding your phone call?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54763
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Last week Jim wasn't there, and they named the company Athlead.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54766
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Tell them your opening line.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54768
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I think it's good. He likes fishing.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54770
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I guess if I make a mistake, I can just paint over it with a shrub or something. It's just, I think less of paintings with a lot of shrubs. So, I'm gonna limit myself to one shrub.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54839
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Yeah. Painting now. I just want to make sure that...
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54841
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It's probably gonna be a few minutes. So you can just go back to doing whatever you were doing.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54843
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I could get us a complaint.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54929
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No, I wouldn't. I can't even relate to that impulse. But I bet I could get us a customer complaint. I'd like to try.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54931
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Hello, this is Pam Halpert. I'm calling from Dunder-Mifflin. Yes, your paper provider. And I just called to say... your mama is so fat, when she wears red, people yell, 'Hey, kool-aid.' Yeah, your mama's fat. This is Pam Halpert.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54989
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Basically I couldn't tell, but I think...
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54991
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I-- I thought they were confused at least...
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54993
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I did not know that.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55022
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I'm so sorry.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55024
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If you're an artist, you have to be okay with the idea that you can't please everybody all the time.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55048
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Shut up, Hide! I mean, do you think Kevin cares what people think about him-- or Creed or Meredith? Oh my gosh, these are my role models now. You know what? I'm okay with that.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55050
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I'm sure it's fine. it's a blue shirt.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55071
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I'm on it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55108
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We're the party planning committee, and we did not get where we are by playing it safe. We got here by being risk takers. And, yeah, Dwight's party is gonna be terrible. Maybe. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's going to be great. And if it's great...I think we all know what that would mean to us.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55157
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Yes! Phyllis!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55159
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What does that even mean? Where would your name appear?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55161
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The party planning committee, minus Angela, has decided that we're all going to do Dwight's Christmas.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55164
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Dwight, there is one rule that you need to take very seriously.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55166
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And that is...
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55168
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That there are no rules.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55170
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You're welcome.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55173
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What is it? Don't touch it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55178
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Oh!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55180
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I feel like--Dwight is holding a candle and reading a poem.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55190
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And the fear.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55221
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Wow.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55227
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Mouse trap.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55257
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Oh, really? Already?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55261
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Well...this is it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55286
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Shut up. I'm trying to be serious.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55288
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I can't believe this is actually happening.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55290
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Okay. Good luck. You're gonna be great.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55292
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Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55294
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Love you.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55296
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What's going on?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55298
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For what it's worth, I liked your party better.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55306
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I don't think anyone thought that.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55308
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Well, that didn't have anything to do with you.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55310
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Zero.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55312
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Dwight, want me to get you some eggnog?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55320
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Jim!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55323
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Oh--Oh my god!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55325
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What happened? Did you miss your bus?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55328
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What?
Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55369
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Jim's been spending a few days a week in Philly and I'm not gonna lie, it's been challenging. Yesterday, things took a turn for the worse. I found out Cece has lice. So I was up all night disinfecting every sheet, towel, toy, item of clothing in the entire house. I'm exhausted. But don't tell Jim. He has a huge meeting today, under a lot of pressure and he's doing it all for the family.
Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55371
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Great. Everything's great. Hey are you nervous about your big meeting?
Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55374
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Oh, call me later!
Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55378
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Good luck!
Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55380
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Love you.
Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55382