Oscar Martinez Quotes from The Office (page 5)

Accountant and the office's resident fact-checker.

1,490 quotes · page 5 of 15

1. That's a big ethical area?

   Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23404

2. Listen, I would love to have an honest conversation with management about ethics. Why isn't the company doing better? Mmm... it could be the pad of Post-its I took home last week. Or it could be the twelve million dollars in deferred compensation in stock options they paid the CEO for a year of substandard performance. I'm sure we'll cover both in the seminar.

   Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23405

3. Why do we have to pay money to get a gift for his ex-girlfriend's unborn sperm bank baby?

   Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23514

4. She's got an Orbit; that's a twelve hundred dollar stroller.

   Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23603

5. Me too.

   Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23632

6. Are you saying Kevin is not an ideal specimen?

   Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23746

7. Great, they stole my laptop.

   Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23841

8. How does that even compare?

   Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23843

9. I don't want to talk. I want my laptop back.

   Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23880

10. So, in order to recoup the value of items we liked, we have to spend more money on things we don't want. Who would ever come to this?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23890

11. 100 dollars.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23946

12. Whoa. Awesome.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24081

13. We'll miss you.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24365

14. Isn't it a seven-hour drive?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24367

15. I don't know if it'll be shorter to fly. You have to drive to Boston, right? That's an hour and a half. Get there an hour before the flight. Now you're up two and a half hours. The flight to Philadelphia is an hour fifteen. It's another two and a half hour drive to Scranton, assuming there's no traffic, because....

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24369

16. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24371

17. Bye.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24373

18. Here.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24971

19. I'm good.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24988

20. Andy brought one too.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24998

21. I made egg salad sandwiches. Do you want one?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25001

22. I'll check us in.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25017

23. I'm probably going to leave after one drink.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25057

24. Nice to meet you.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25063

25. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25066

26. Michael, why?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25070

27. How do you even know they're gay?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25080

28. Don't do this.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25084

29. What are you doing?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25094

30. If you don't mind me asking---

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25101

31. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25103

32. Its just that I've sat next to Angela for a very long, very long time.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25105

33. How could anyone stand that woman?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25107

34. What do you see in her? Wh -- what do you see in Angela?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25109

35. I want to know.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25111

36. You haven't had sex?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25113

37. Y--Are you guys waiting to get married, or?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25115

38. Andy, something is wrong with that woman.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25117

39. I'd like to know. You should call her and ask her. I'd like to know what's wrong with her.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25119

40. Do it! It's a--- Call her! Oh my God, don't call her! Don't call her, Andy. Andy, don't call her!

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25121

41. Why won't you do Andy?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25125

42. Hey.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25159

43. Yeah, it was.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25161

44. Hey, um... thanks for trying to hook me up.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25163

45. I can't believe we called her up.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25165

46. I'm talking about Angela. I can't believe we called her up last night.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25167

47. You--- you call--- you called her.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25169

48. Alright.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25171

49. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25173

50. Good morning, Michael. Are you ready for the meeting?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25175

51. Mmm...

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25197

52. What is first base with Angela?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25199

53. I had a good time too.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25201

54. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25203

55. No.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25205

56. 'To whoever made the microwave mess: the microwave is a shared kitchen appliance. By not cleaning it up you are basically telling whoever follows that their time is less valuable, as they will have to scrub out your disgusting splatter. Sincerely, disappointed.'

    Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25319

57. No kidding.

    Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25321

58. The note. So 'holier than thou'.

    Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25323

59. Here are our final actual costs for this year.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25545

60. As you can see, we did pretty well, so...

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25547

61. Alright, well this is the overall budget for this fiscal year along the x-axis...

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25549

62. Right there.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25551

63. You can see clearly on this page that we have a surplus of $4300.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25553

64. But we have to spend that by the end of the day or it will be deducted from next year's budget.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25555

65. Your mommy and daddy give you ten dollars to open up a lemonade stand. So you go out and you buy cups and you buy lemons and you buy sugar. And now you find out that it only costs you nine dollars.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25557

66. So you have an extra dollar.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25559

67. So you can give that dollar back to mommy and daddy, but guess what? Next summer...

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25561

68. And you ask them for money, they're gonna give you nine dollars. 'Cause that's what they think it costs to run the stand. So what you want to do is spend that dollar on something now, so that your parents think it costs ten dollars to run the lemonade stand.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25563

69. We have to spend that $4300 by the end of the day or it'll be deducted from next year's budget.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25565

70. We should spend this money on a new copier, which we desperately need.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25567

71. No, no, please. Please do not do this.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25572

72. Now listen, we are a paper company. How can we take pride in our jobs if we have to put our fine paper in this wretched machine?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25576

73. Pam, you make more copies than anyone.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25578

74. So Michael, what do you think?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25594

75. Michael?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25641

76. I'm just gonna grab some lunch. You wanna come with?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25643

77. Stop it! Michael.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25659

78. The best. Great friends. Thank you, Michael.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25662

79. That's the original.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25819

80. Do you know?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25821

81. I think you know.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25823

82. Does anyone happen to know what 15% of 4300 is?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25827

83. Why'd you say dollars?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25831

84. What's 15% of 200? Thank you. Everyone, Michael is returning the surplus so he can keep 15% as a bonus.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25833

85. You're gonna get us a copier then?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25840

86. Michael, you have to make a decision. The day is almost done.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25851

87. You are a smart guy. I know you'll do the right thing.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25853

88. Hey, we're going with the chairs.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25859

89. I just figured I'd rather have new chairs than nothing at all.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25861

90. We're back on the 5th, should we just do it then?

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25930

91. What about February 2nd?

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25932

92. Now? It's our Christmas party.

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25937

93. Do you know how to do an intervention?

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25941

94. Where did you get this?

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25967

95. Thirty-one is humanly impossible.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26121

96. That's impossible.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26123

97. What is wrong with you? She is engaged.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26159

98. Are you serious? Ugh. Where? Where? Where, Dwight?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26161

99. That was good... It's just, at the end you weren't saying something that could also apply to the form.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26167

100. There you go.

     Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26169