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Oscar Martinez Quotes from The Office (page 5)

Accountant and the office's resident fact-checker.

1,490 quotes · page 5 of 15

  1. That's a big ethical area?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23404

  2. Listen, I would love to have an honest conversation with management about ethics. Why isn't the company doing better? Mmm... it could be the pad of Post-its I took home last week. Or it could be the twelve million dollars in deferred compensation in stock options they paid the CEO for a year of substandard performance. I'm sure we'll cover both in the seminar.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23405

  3. Why do we have to pay money to get a gift for his ex-girlfriend's unborn sperm bank baby?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23514

  4. She's got an Orbit; that's a twelve hundred dollar stroller.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23603

  5. Me too.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23632

  6. Are you saying Kevin is not an ideal specimen?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23746

  7. Great, they stole my laptop.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23841

  8. How does that even compare?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23843

  9. I don't want to talk. I want my laptop back.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23880

  10. So, in order to recoup the value of items we liked, we have to spend more money on things we don't want. Who would ever come to this?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23890

  11. 100 dollars.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23946

  12. Whoa. Awesome.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24081

  13. We'll miss you.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24365

  14. Isn't it a seven-hour drive?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24367

  15. I don't know if it'll be shorter to fly. You have to drive to Boston, right? That's an hour and a half. Get there an hour before the flight. Now you're up two and a half hours. The flight to Philadelphia is an hour fifteen. It's another two and a half hour drive to Scranton, assuming there's no traffic, because....

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24369

  16. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24371

  17. Bye.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24373

  18. Here.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 24971

  19. I'm good.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 24988

  20. Andy brought one too.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 24998

  21. I made egg salad sandwiches. Do you want one?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25001

  22. I'll check us in.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25017

  23. I'm probably going to leave after one drink.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25057

  24. Nice to meet you.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25063

  25. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25066

  26. Michael, why?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25070

  27. How do you even know they're gay?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25080

  28. Don't do this.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25084

  29. What are you doing?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25094

  30. If you don't mind me asking---

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25101

  31. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25103

  32. Its just that I've sat next to Angela for a very long, very long time.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25105

  33. How could anyone stand that woman?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25107

  34. What do you see in her? Wh -- what do you see in Angela?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25109

  35. I want to know.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25111

  36. You haven't had sex?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25113

  37. Y--Are you guys waiting to get married, or?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25115

  38. Andy, something is wrong with that woman.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25117

  39. I'd like to know. You should call her and ask her. I'd like to know what's wrong with her.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25119

  40. Do it! It's a--- Call her! Oh my God, don't call her! Don't call her, Andy. Andy, don't call her!

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25121

  41. Why won't you do Andy?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25125

  42. Hey.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25159

  43. Yeah, it was.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25161

  44. Hey, um... thanks for trying to hook me up.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25163

  45. I can't believe we called her up.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25165

  46. I'm talking about Angela. I can't believe we called her up last night.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25167

  47. You--- you call--- you called her.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25169

  48. Alright.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25171

  49. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25173

  50. Good morning, Michael. Are you ready for the meeting?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25175

  51. Mmm...

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25197

  52. What is first base with Angela?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25199

  53. I had a good time too.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25201

  54. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25203

  55. No.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Line 25205

  56. 'To whoever made the microwave mess: the microwave is a shared kitchen appliance. By not cleaning it up you are basically telling whoever follows that their time is less valuable, as they will have to scrub out your disgusting splatter. Sincerely, disappointed.'

    Season 5 · Episode 8 · Line 25319

  57. No kidding.

    Season 5 · Episode 8 · Line 25321

  58. The note. So 'holier than thou'.

    Season 5 · Episode 8 · Line 25323

  59. Here are our final actual costs for this year.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25545

  60. As you can see, we did pretty well, so...

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25547

  61. Alright, well this is the overall budget for this fiscal year along the x-axis...

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25549

  62. Right there.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25551

  63. You can see clearly on this page that we have a surplus of $4300.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25553

  64. But we have to spend that by the end of the day or it will be deducted from next year's budget.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25555

  65. Your mommy and daddy give you ten dollars to open up a lemonade stand. So you go out and you buy cups and you buy lemons and you buy sugar. And now you find out that it only costs you nine dollars.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25557

  66. So you have an extra dollar.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25559

  67. So you can give that dollar back to mommy and daddy, but guess what? Next summer...

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25561

  68. And you ask them for money, they're gonna give you nine dollars. 'Cause that's what they think it costs to run the stand. So what you want to do is spend that dollar on something now, so that your parents think it costs ten dollars to run the lemonade stand.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25563

  69. We have to spend that $4300 by the end of the day or it'll be deducted from next year's budget.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25565

  70. We should spend this money on a new copier, which we desperately need.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25567

  71. No, no, please. Please do not do this.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25572

  72. Now listen, we are a paper company. How can we take pride in our jobs if we have to put our fine paper in this wretched machine?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25576

  73. Pam, you make more copies than anyone.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25578

  74. So Michael, what do you think?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25594

  75. Michael?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25641

  76. I'm just gonna grab some lunch. You wanna come with?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25643

  77. Stop it! Michael.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25659

  78. The best. Great friends. Thank you, Michael.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25662

  79. That's the original.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25819

  80. Do you know?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25821

  81. I think you know.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25823

  82. Does anyone happen to know what 15% of 4300 is?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25827

  83. Why'd you say dollars?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25831

  84. What's 15% of 200? Thank you. Everyone, Michael is returning the surplus so he can keep 15% as a bonus.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25833

  85. You're gonna get us a copier then?

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25840

  86. Michael, you have to make a decision. The day is almost done.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25851

  87. You are a smart guy. I know you'll do the right thing.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25853

  88. Hey, we're going with the chairs.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25859

  89. I just figured I'd rather have new chairs than nothing at all.

    Season 5 · Episode 9 · Line 25861

  90. We're back on the 5th, should we just do it then?

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Line 25930

  91. What about February 2nd?

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Line 25932

  92. Now? It's our Christmas party.

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Line 25937

  93. Do you know how to do an intervention?

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Line 25941

  94. Where did you get this?

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Line 25967

  95. Thirty-one is humanly impossible.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26121

  96. That's impossible.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26123

  97. What is wrong with you? She is engaged.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26159

  98. Are you serious? Ugh. Where? Where? Where, Dwight?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26161

  99. That was good... It's just, at the end you weren't saying something that could also apply to the form.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26167

  100. There you go.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26169