Oscar Martinez Quotes from The Office (page 4)

Accountant and the office's resident fact-checker.

1,490 quotes · page 4 of 15

1. Still, that's not anything.

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2. This is a lot of credit card debt.

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3. Mmm.

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4. Okay, a hundred and twenty-five dollars, Amazon.

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5. Twelve hundred dollars. What's a Core Blaster Extreme?

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6. Okay, the green bar is what you spend every month on stuff you need, like a car and a house.

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7. The red bar is what you spend on non-essentials, like magazines, entertainment, things like that.

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8. This scary black bar is what you spend on things that no one ever, ever needs, like multiple magic sets, professional bass fishing equipment.

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9. Michael, I'm going to set you and Jan up with a debt consolidator, you meet with this guy.

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10. She has to know.

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11. Michael, this is a presentation tool.

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12. I'm done!

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13. Jan is smart.

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14. So due to Michael's clever financial maneuvering, he finds himself tremendously in debt.

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15. Jan.

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16. Michael left.

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17. I don't know.

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18. I don't think so.

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19. Jan, he went running that way.

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20. Okay, you need to focus, Michael. You need to stop spending money.

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21. I hate to ask you this, but are there any retirement funds you can borrow from?

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22. You have CDs?

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23. Okay, good, okay. What bank?

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24. Case Logic.

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25. I'm asking about Certificates of Deposit.

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26. Hi.

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27. When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor in commercials. Then I realized I had a brain.

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28. To be Edwardian. His best work.

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29. Sure thing Pam, can't wait.

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30. Besides having sex with men, I would say that the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me.

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31. Can you imagine a life where all you have to do is summer in the Italian countryside?

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32. What are you doing?

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33. Yes.

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34. Very brave.

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35. And George, his- his youthfulness. His, um, freedom. Evokes, um, um, feeling, um, to the, um... What are you microwaving!?

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36. Okay, did you get it out of your system.

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37. How does it end?

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38. Okay, that's enough, uh. Thanks, Andy.

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39. Wow. Now we can afford hard-cover books.

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40. Ahhh!

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41. Ok.

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42. 'Let's be honest, as fun as birthdays are we could all use a break from the constant cake, so let's celebrate birthday month in style today.' This is really cool.

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43. No, totally, totally. This way we get it all out of the way at once and it could actually be fun.

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44. Why don't you just have an apple?

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45. Probably went to his head.

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46. Hey, Jim.

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47. So the figures show improvement right there, Michael. And again-

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48. I totally see that.

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49. Yeah, yeah.

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50. It's a problem with the client. I think, Jim...

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51. Been here nine years. Now all of a sudden I'm supposed to park half a mile away.

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52. Wow.

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53. I am livid, Absolutely livid.

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54. Elliot!

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55. We should all make sure to give him a big tip this Christmas.

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56. Why?

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57. Why are you assuming they only speak Spanish?

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58. Good evening, we locked ourselves in. Nosotros trabajamos aqui, nos trancamos, OK?

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59. They

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60. Honestly, the book is so much better than this.

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61. Michael that doesn't seem... safe.

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62. Why are you telling us this?

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63. Yes.

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64. We'll see.

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65. Dunder Mifflin paper.

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66. Hey.

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67. Why, why wouldn't you say that to her face?

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68. Well this is what happened: uh, Ryan's big project was the website... which wasn't doing so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice: once as office sales, once as website sales. Which is what we refer to in the business as 'misleading the shareholders.' Another good term is 'fraud.' The real crime, I think, was the beard.

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69. Totally, they're the best.

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70. Why don't we make corn burgers?

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71. Seriously, do you like my idea? Corn burgers.

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72. All I had this weekend to eat was a chicken breast and a case of Diet Coke.

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73. OK. Stanley, come on.

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74. Hey, if you're into yoga, I take a great bikram class in Dickson City.

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75. Also -- and no pressure -- the teacher? He's a catch.

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76. I'm gay!

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77. What's the joke?

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78. Oh, you think it's a choice?

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79. I'm messing with you, Holly.

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80. OK.

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81. Yes, she is. And clinically insane.

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82. OK.

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83. Oh!

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84. So how was your date?

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85. Oh my God, what happened?

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86. Because it's your making-fun-of-fat-people character.

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87. I think of him as more like... a monster? What about, 'I say, I say, I say, I'll sit on you!'

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88. How was Friday night?

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89. He'll call.

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90. Nice job, Kevin.

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91. I'm pretty fit. But in the gay community, there's a lot of pressure to be ripped. I got straight abs. I want gay abs.

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92. Can you turn the heat down now - it's oppressive.

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93. It's just...

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94. Have you been to the beach yet?

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95. Okay, Toby, I gotta go.

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96. I thought you were already engaged.

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97. That isn't ethics. Ethics is a real discussion of the competing conceptions of the good. This is just the corporate anti-shoplifting rules.

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98. Exactly, Andy.

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99. Pass.

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100. Ok, once in a while I'll take a long lunch.

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