Oscar Martinez Quotes from The Office (page 3)

Accountant and the office's resident fact-checker.

1,490 quotes · page 3 of 15

1. No, NO! I don't want to touch you, ever consider that? You're ignorant, and insulting, and small!

   Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9616

2. Michael... I'm sorry. That was a good idea. Come on, come on.

   Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9618

3. I was going to quit. But Jan offered me a three month paid vacation and a company car. All I had to do was sign something saying I won't sue. Gill and I are going to Europe. Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.

   Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9626

4. What are you doing?!

   Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9628

5. Yes, I'm gay.

   Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9654

6. Too soon.

   Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12695

7. Hey, everyone.

   Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13388

8. Oh, that's very funny.

   Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13390

9. Hi, Angela.

   Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13392

10. The one of all women?

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13405

11. Because I'm gay?

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13407

12. OK, OK, OK, all right, all right. I'll join. I'd love to. That's -- thank you.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13409

13. I really have no preference. We don't even have to have a party.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13430

14. Michael --

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13432

15. Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey into the office like Pepe.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13434

16. Actually, yeah. I didn't think I would, but turns out -- it's great.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13537

17. It reminds me a lot of the 'Three Amigos' with Steve Martin and Chevy Chase.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13553

18. You're the one who said we needed more culture.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14160

19. It's her first try.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14162

20. Meaning what?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14164

21. Well, those aren't Pam's strong points.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14166

22. You know I don't like to participate in the...

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14214

23. Really, it's just that I don't like to participate...

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14216

24. It's just... I'm sorry... It's gossip, and I don't think it's healthy.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14218

25. Well, I'm not going to get over myself... it's wrong.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14220

26. That's disgusting.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Quote 14222

27. These wings are all fat and bone.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14575

28. Angela, Roy's check. He's coming in later to pick it up.

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14651

29. It was crazy.

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14653

30. Well, I heard some shouting. And I look over and Roy's by reception and you could just tell he's gonna punch somebody. Jim says something. Roy stomps over there. All of the sudden, BAM. Roy goes down, and Dwight's standing there like an action hero.

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14655

31. It was insane!

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Quote 14657

32. What are you guys talkin' about?

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15020

33. Really, ten? That's your guess? You're a professional accountant.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15072

34. Forty-two.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Quote 15074

35. That's really not our job.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15372

36. I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer calls.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15398

37. Really, Dixon City? ...Carbondale.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15465

38. Yes.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15557

39. I expect you to apologize for that, Angela.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15559

40. Still said it, so...

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15564

41. We do a lot more than that.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15604

42. I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer phone calls.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15606

43. Would you, please? Please.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Quote 15668

44. I don't wear a Speedo, Michael.

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16101

45. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16138

46. Come on Phyllis, you can do it. Ahh...

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16166

47. Turkey is a healthy meat.

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16203

48. If either of these guys are put in charge of the office I will transfer to Albany. Gil can come if he wants. I'm kinda looking for a way out of that relationship anyway. I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see.

    Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16244

49. Hey, Pam I've been meaning to say something to you. I really miss our friendship.

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16521

50. Maybe you should talk to her? Before...

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16533

51. Michael...

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16535

52. I'm sorry, that just doesn't make sense.

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16538

53. You're not sure that you have the job.

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16544

54. Good luck, you guys!

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16652

55. Oh, Michael's not going anywhere.

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16754

56. Do you really think he's qualified for that job?

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16758

57. Mm. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16760

58. So ten

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16764

59. What--- What are you winking for?

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16807

60. Home is where the

    Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16942

61. I don't know, there is no evidence of intimacy. They've been in remarkably good moods. It could be other things.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 16987

62. So she's really going to be fine?

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 16999

63. Subtle.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17025

64. You pushed Darryl out the window?

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17061

65. Separate cars.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17070

66. Like what?

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17148

67. Dwight please!

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17158

68. You're doing great Michael, look at you go!

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17362

69. More or less.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17379

70. There's no proof of that.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17466

71. It's fair.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17484

72. I was raised Catholic, but I'm agnostic now, so I guess I'm a secular humanist.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17509

73. Michael, do you know what secular humanism is?

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17511

74. Oh.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17513

75. Creed?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17745

76. Everything OK?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17747

77. You did what?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 18067

78. Um...

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 18084

79. You're forty-three. Mick Jagger's like sixty-five.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 18107

80. Did you Google Confucius and just print out the first thing you saw?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 18109

81. I... like your hair. I don't know if I told you.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 18140

82. I think I'll just take my chances.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 18144

83. It's never gonna happen.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18153

84. This is why I'm here?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18261

85. Why aren't you in New York?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18412

86. Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places. Both in quality of ingredients, and overall taste. Which one did you order from?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18467

87. It's not pizza.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18497

88. Stanley, could you look up 'accomplices'?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18515

89. Because we're looking up jail time.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18517

90. Thank God.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18576

91. I was going to be in New York tonight, to go to the Met, but I had to cancel. Because Angela's party is mandatory.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18718

92. Don't.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18726

93. You know the octagon sign means stop.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18740

94. An octagon is a shape. You can see shapes, can't you?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18742

95. Obviously it's a real word, but I don't know when to use it correctly.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18995

96. He's not even good at his first one.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19059

97. Michael, are you having money problems?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19065

98. You heard me correctly.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19067

99. Not at all.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19094

100. Hey, I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen.

     Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19097