Accountant and the office's resident fact-checker.
-
Actually, it's just-
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4932
-
Ok...
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4934
-
Tin Man. Actually we just a got a memo from IT saying you're doing e-mail surveillance.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4936
-
I'm on a call.
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5031
-
Yeah, it surprised us all. I'll tell you why. Because when they---
Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5139
-
I got Creed. And to tell you the truth, I don't know anything about Creed. I know his name's Creed. I know he works right over there. I think he's Irish and I .. I got him this shamrock keychain.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5358
-
Shower radio. Neat.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5383
-
Thanks, Kelly. You know I was gonna get one of ..
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5385
-
Why are we doing this?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5419
-
I'll take the ... teapot.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5442
-
You got a bonus check?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5478
-
I'm in.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5579
-
Michael? Poor Richard's?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5581
-
Towards me.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5589
-
Towards me. That's good, towards me. Towards me. Towards me, towards me. Okay, I'm good. I'm good, I'm good.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5591
-
Creed.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5593
-
Man, I really wanted that. I really wanted the shower radio, too.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5612
-
I'll take the tea pot.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5614
-
No, I just like tea.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5617
-
Kelly had me last year, too, and she gave me the same exact thing. I only have one shower.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5619
-
I guess I'll take the last gift. Cool.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5621
-
What did you end up with?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5639
-
You like music at least?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5641
-
You're kidding. What was your DJ name?
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5643
-
Turns out that Creed is a pretty interesting guy.
Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5645
-
Last year, Michael's theme was 'Bowl over the Competition!' So guess where we went.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5710
-
Where do you guys think we're going?
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5874
-
Right.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5876
-
I don't know what the categories are of workers on a boat.
Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5919
-
...Lord of the Rings trilogy, if you see it back to back, it's really long. But it's good.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 5991
-
What's up, Pam?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6347
-
Ok...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6349
-
You should put butter on it.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6352
-
Hello.
Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6439
-
Hello?
Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6441
-
Yeah I think I came down with the flu.
Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6445
-
Yeah, I feel terrible about it.
Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6447
-
I have the chills.
Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6450
-
I feel nauseous and my heads killing.
Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6452
-
Michael is there anything you need from me? I'd like to go back to bed.
Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6454
-
I'll just be sleep---
Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6456
-
Are you going to tell Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6635
-
Hey, Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 14 · Quote 6830
-
Hey, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 14 · Quote 6832
-
What happened in Michael's office was wrong. I understand it, it makes sense But it... it was still wrong.
Season 2 · Episode 14 · Quote 6842
-
It's just that we're really swamped over here, Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 14 · Quote 6865
-
Are you kidding? I thought it was you.
Season 2 · Episode 14 · Quote 6887
-
The best present would be, you do a good job in front of the new CFO.
Season 2 · Episode 16 · Quote 7385
-
My mom.
Season 2 · Episode 16 · Quote 7506
-
Happy Valentine's Day, Meredith.
Season 2 · Episode 16 · Quote 7571
-
Here you go, Creed.
Season 2 · Episode 16 · Quote 7574
-
That's great, man.
Season 2 · Episode 16 · Quote 7610
-
I get here early every morning so I can set the thermostat. I like it a little cooler, around 66 degrees. I'm more productive. Maybe some people don't like it as cold as I do, but I don't care.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Quote 7667
-
What the hell is going on here?
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Quote 7693
-
I've got a time share in Key West that might be available.
Season 2 · Episode 17 · Quote 7786
-
Is that Chet Montgomery?
Season 2 · Episode 18 · Quote 8045
-
Melissa. Hey. I was working. I was in the middle of something.
Season 2 · Episode 18 · Quote 8175
-
I was in the middle of something.
Season 2 · Episode 18 · Quote 8177
-
Stanley.
Season 2 · Episode 18 · Quote 8179
-
Who is this guy again?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Quote 8204
-
This sounds like a get rich quick scheme.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Quote 8208
-
Skin cancer is treatable.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Quote 8281
-
It's going to be okay.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Quote 8283
-
...I'll do it.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Quote 8308
-
It wasn't me.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Quote 8320
-
What is this?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Quote 8331
-
No, I have not.
Season 2 · Episode 20 · Quote 8519
-
What are you implying?
Season 2 · Episode 20 · Quote 8521
-
Okay. I'm done with this.
Season 2 · Episode 20 · Quote 8523
-
So Pam told me that you do a great Stanley impression, I'd love to hear it.
Season 2 · Episode 20 · Quote 8543
-
Is that true, Toby?
Season 2 · Episode 20 · Quote 8568
-
You were the one joking around calling Dwight a narc.
Season 2 · Episode 20 · Quote 8591
-
How?
Season 2 · Episode 20 · Quote 8719
-
No, how could it reach the moon? Like, would you make it into a rope, or...
Season 2 · Episode 20 · Quote 8721
-
It's like child abuse. I say, if Jesus saw that, he'd freak out! He'd freak out, Toby! I mean on some levels... it's... and I'm supposed to work there. I'm supposed...
Season 2 · Episode 21 · Quote 8798
-
Angela!
Season 2 · Episode 21 · Quote 8802
-
Since Christmas.
Season 2 · Episode 21 · Quote 8804
-
No.
Season 2 · Episode 21 · Quote 8806
-
What's the next one?
Season 2 · Episode 21 · Quote 8822
-
I don't like looking at it. It's creepy, and in bad taste, and it's just offensive to me. It makes me think of the horrible, frigid stage mothers who force the babies into it. It's kitsch. It's the opposite of art. It destroys art. It destroys souls. This is so much more offensive to me than hardcore porno. I'm talking about the...
Season 2 · Episode 21 · Quote 8829
-
No.
Season 2 · Episode 21 · Quote 8833
-
How 'bout, she takes it down?
Season 2 · Episode 21 · Quote 8837
-
Fine.
Season 2 · Episode 21 · Quote 8841
-
Again? We do that every year.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Quote 9116
-
It'd be nice to do something for people who are actually suffering.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Quote 9118
-
Let it ride. Let it all ride.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Quote 9325
-
No, that's a flush.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Quote 9371
-
What's going on, Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Quote 9452
-
No, it's fine.
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9511
-
That sounds like a great, wonderful idea, let's do that.
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9513
-
No, I'm not gay. And I don't understand why anyone would think, that I'm gay... if... Uh... yeah I'm gay.
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9515
-
Yes I'm super cool. I am an accountant at a failing paper supply company, Scranton. Much like, um, sir Ian McClellan.
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9560
-
Am I the first gay man you ever knew?
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9580
-
What are you doing?!
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9586
-
Yes I'm gay. And I didn't plan on sharing that part of my life with you today, so, whatever. Can I sit down now?
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9591
-
No one else in this office is gay.
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9598
-
You sound pretty defensive Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9607
-
I think the problem with this office is that
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9609
-
I don't think I can work here any longer. This has been the worst, most backwards day of my life.
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9612
-
I would rather not.
Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9614