Jan Levinson Quotes from The Office (page 5)

Corporate VP, candle entrepreneur.

949 quotes · page 5 of 10

1. I'm great. So, Pam I would like you to keep a log of everything Michael does hour by hour so we can analyze it at corporate. Ok?

   Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10623

2. Thanks Pam.

   Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10625

3. What I want, Michael, is an hour-by-hour log of how you spend your work time.

   Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10863

4. Zoning out?

   Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10865

5. If you can account for your time...

   Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10867

6. ...then maybe corporate can justify your salary.

   Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10869

7. Michael, what is this about you letting everyone leave work early today?

   Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11133

8. What is Diwali?

   Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11135

9. Yes.

   Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11137

10. Mich---

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11139

11. Oh.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11141

12. Oh.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11145

13. Yes, of course, I know Kelly.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11147

14. I thought she was Muslim.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11149

15. Well, I think it sounds lovely. I think it sounds like a good idea.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11151

16. Yes, of course. It's important to celebrate our company's rich diversity. And, and in fact, Michael, if you had planned better, we might have been able to charter a bus to the event---

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11153

17. ---or, or, or been a sponsor for the party itself.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11155

18. Hey, one person is an integral part of the fabric---

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Quote 11157

19. Michael.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11199

20. Michael.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11201

21. Michael.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11203

22. I am here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11205

23. The board voted last night to close your branch.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11207

24. The board's.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11209

25. I'm very sorry. I don't relish telling you this. You've been a big part of this company, and the board asked me to thank you for your years of service.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11211

26. A small number of people will be transferred to the Stamford branch, and the rest will be getting severance packages.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11213

27. Well, we haven't made final decisions about personnel yet. But you're a severance package person.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11215

28. Well, it's not all about numbers, Michael.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11217

29. It's... it's about talent.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11219

30. Our CFO believes that Josh is going to play an important role in our company's future.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11221

31. Hi.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11298

32. Oh, good. You're both here. Ready to talk logistics?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11300

33. So, Josh will be running what is now called Dunder-Mifflin ,Northeast, which is all the offices north of Stamford. And Jim, fi you want the job, you'll be his number two.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11304

34. Awesome.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11306

35. Wha... excuse... why not?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11308

36. Today?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11310

37. You leveraged your new position with us into another offer?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11312

38. Damn it, Josh. This whole restructuring thing was based around keeping you. I...

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11314

39. I'm gonna make some calls.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11316

40. So... we are still scrambling here. But uh, it looks like Scranton is going to absorb Stamford.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11337

41. And I know that you just left there a couple of months ago, but we would like to offer you the number two position at that branch.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11339

42. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11341

43. Michael.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11343

44. Ah. Well, please think about it. And call me. We will do whatever we can to get you to stay.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11345

45. Where's Michael?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11361

46. Wha... what's going on here?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11363

47. Ah, god. Okay. You know what everybody? I'm sure there is a better way to do this but I've drive something like 400 miles today and I'm completely exhausted so I'm just gonna tell you. Your branch is not closing; Stamford is closing. Um, for the time being, it seems that all your jobs are safe.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11365

48. Well, reasons are not important. Would you just call him, please? Wherever he is... and tell him.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11370

49. Back?

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11372

50. Uh, we don't know. Probably. A few.

    Season 3 · Episode 7 · Quote 11374

51. Michael!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11858

52. Did you fire Tony Gardner when he was trying to quit?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11860

53. Do you realize, Michael, that we now have to pay him severance?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11862

54. You do?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11864

55. What? No. No. No, Jim is your Number Two.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11866

56. He's the only one who has worked with both groups. I sent you a memo about this.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11868

57. Mmhmm.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12054

58. We get that money for hiring an ex-convict.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12056

59. When did the check come?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12058

60. Okay, that's when the branches merged, so Josh must have been taking advantage of this program. Smart move.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12060

61. Uh, reformed convict, and, uh, I'm not sure. Though hang on, let me email our HR, stay on the line.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12064

62. ...Okay it's someone named Martin Nash.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12077

63. Michael?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12079

64. Hello everyone. Hello Michael.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12962

65. I was in Scottsdale visiting my sister.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12965

66. Very sunny. Family's important. Michael, I would like to speak with you, in your office.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12967

67. Why am I here, Michael?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12969

68. In the last year, I've gone through a divorce, an identity theft, a husband who would not... communicate. This is nether here or there. My psychiatrist thinks that I have some self-destructive tendencies and that for once, I should indulge them. You following me?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12971

69. I think I owe it to myself to find some kind of happiness, you know? I mean, even, even if it means... lowering my expectations or, or redefining the word, itself.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12973

70. This is the kind of thing, you know? I am... attracted to you. I, I don't know why, I... but, I am. And, I need to follow my instincts. At least that's what Dr. Perry thinks.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12975

71. This is the point, OK? You're wrong for me. In... In... every way. But I still find myself wanting to... be with you.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12977

72. Good, good.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12979

73. Well, good, OK. Thank you... for taking the time...

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12981

74. Wait 15 minutes, find an excuse, and meet me at your condo.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12983

75. Oh, God.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12985

76. Oh yeah, Arizona's beautiful. Yeah. It's great to... great to see my sister.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13048

77. Oh, yeah, I know. I don't... I don't normally lay out in the sun a lot, but, you know, when it's Scottsdale... I was visiting my sister and...

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13050

78. Dwight's name is on the security sign-in sheet, but I don't know who he met with. And where it asks to state your business, he wrote 'Beeswax. Not yours, Inc.'

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13301

79. Michael, I left a meeting. What is so urgent? Are you, are you okay?

    Season 3 · Episode 14 · Quote 13796

80. Okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 14 · Quote 13798

81. Uh when, when did, when last night?

    Season 3 · Episode 14 · Quote 13800

82. You went to a bachelor party at work?

    Season 3 · Episode 14 · Quote 13802

83. I'm closer to firing you.

    Season 3 · Episode 14 · Quote 13817

84. I'll talk to you later.

    Season 3 · Episode 14 · Quote 13819

85. Michael?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14297

86. Hi.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14299

87. Let's just blow this party off.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14301

88. Am I on speaker phone?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14303

89. Is anybody else in the...

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14305

90. Hi, Dwight. Ok, Michael, take me off speaker phone.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14307

91. Ok. Let's just go to a motel...

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14309

92. ...and just like rip into each other like we did on that black sand beach in Jamaica.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14311

93. Still on speaker?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14313

94. Are camera's there?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14315

95. See you soon.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14317

96. I'm sure that it's catered. I need you to sign these, Michael. It's a waver of some of your rights. You should read it carefully. It releases the company in the event that our relationship, in your opinion or in reality, interferes with work. You get a copy, I get a copy, and a third copy goes to HR.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14365

97. You realize this is a legal document that says you can't sue the company.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14367

98. I've never told you that I love you.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14369

99. I am taking a calculated risk. What's the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self loathing. Downside? I, uh, date Michael Scott publicly and collapse in on myself like a dying star.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14371

100. What's this over the 'i'?

     Season 3 · Episode 17 · Quote 14372