Jan Levinson Quotes from The Office (page 8)

Corporate VP, candle entrepreneur.

949 quotes · page 8 of 10

1. No, Michael. Oh, come on.

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2. Stop saying ridiculous things. He's just gonna tell the truth, the truth is-is very...you know, complicated, so we went over it carefully, and-and just so we wouldn't leave anything up to chance or Michael's judgment.

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3. Michael, I told you, I am not putting the top down.

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4. All right, fine, just a second. Hold on.

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5. Michael, just relax, okay?

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6. People underestimate Michael. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at. Like ice skating. He is a very good ice skater.

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7. Can we just move on to another question?

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8. Okay, if I may, he was just telling a joke before, so can we move on to another question?

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9. Uh, yes.

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10. I had to, I'm sorry but I need to win this. We need to win this.

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11. You keep it under my side of the mattress.

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12. Alright, I stole your diary and gave it to my lawyer. You emailed a topless photo of me to everyone in our company. Let's call it even.

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13. I love you too.

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14. [looks at Lester]

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15. Michael, I am not the enemy, OK? Dunder Mifflin is the enemy.

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16. Alright, wait. Before you go any further, let me show you what kind of loyalty they have, OK? Lester, please read that part of Wallace's deposition.

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17. How about Chinese?

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18. That was my cheap suggestion. Chinese was my cheap suggestion.

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19. Fine, fast food's fine.

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20. Yes, Michael is going to be cross-examined today, which'll be very, very risky for me, nonetheless, not an easy decision to make, but it's a deposition. It's not going to be in front of a judge. And it's four million dollars.

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21. Sometimes when he gets nervous he, uh, talks like Borat.

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22. Hi.

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23. How are you?

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24. Chilly huh? So glad we finally got to do this with you guys. You wanna take their coats babe?

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25. Oh well Pam, thank you, this will be great to cook with.

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26. So what do you guys think, should we do the tour first or the appetizers first?

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27. Do you have a preference babe? Upstairs first?

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28. Alright, well, let's go then, I say upstairs.

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29. Yeah, so sorry about this God-awful carpet, we're still a work in progress here.

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30. This is my office.

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31. Not super exciting.

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32. And this is my workspace.

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33. I do, I cannot create in the same space I conduct business, I'm sure that you're the same with your doodles. Smell.

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34. Uh-huh, Bonfire.

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35. Men love this one.

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36. When I get frustrated, or irritated or... angry, I come up here and I just smell all my candles and it just -poof- goes away.

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37. Just like that.

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38. So this is the master bedroom, and these walls used to like white, like an asylum. So I wanted it to be softer, So I had it painted in eggshell white.

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39. Babe I thought you said you were going to tidy things up.

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40. Shame on you.

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41. See, he fits perfectly.

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42. It's pine.

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43. Really?

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44. I bet you are.

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45. It was between the neon beer sign and the Dundies so I said 'Honey keep the trophies.'

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46. Oh, excuse us just a second.

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47. So glad you're finally able to be here.

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48. Oh, how thoughtful.

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49. Aw.

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50. How 'bout we do the short tour and then I'll start dinner?

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51. Oh no no no, it's just the osso buco needs to braise for about three hours, everything else is done.

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52. You know Pam, in Spain they often don't start eating until midnight.

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53. Do you have a preference, upstairs first?

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54. Follow me.

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55. So music, should we turn some music?

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56. Do you guys remember my old assistant Hunter? He is an excellent songwriter.

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57. Well I think he's probably just about as reliable as Pam being that it usually takes you an afternoon to get back to me.

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58. Joe Camel!

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59. Oh!

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60. Babe can you just like really, woah, could you just simmer down?

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61. No.

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62. I was watching Jim.

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63. No smiling.

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64. No no no, no names, no names, no rhyming, no soundalikes.

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65. No rhyming!

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66. I'm so, so sorry for the temperature in here. The um, sliding glass door shattered. It's actually a really cute story. Do you wanna tell it babe or should I tell it?

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67. Come on, it's a cute story, Michael ran through the sliding glass doors because he thought he heard the ice cream truck!

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68. You are so right, you're so right because before I lived here, the glass was always covered in smudges, and then I moved in and I cleaned it so I guess that makes me the Devil.

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69. I will get it, I will get it, what kind of hostess would I be if I didn't get. It's okay, I don't mind. In fact you know what, girl's trip, Angela come on. Girl's trip.

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70. Uh, not even close.

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71. You should see our bathroom after Michael takes a bath, whew. But I don't have to tell you Pam.

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72. Oh well don't tell me that he's really changed since you guys dated.

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73. Well, Michael told me a little bit about it, but I see the way you look at him.

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74. Mmhmm.

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75. Coming!

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76. What are you doing here?

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77. What is he doing here?

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78. Fine, whatever you want, just like always, whatever you want.

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79. We saw Wicked.

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80. I am so sorry that I don't want to bring kids into this screwed-up world, okay? But look if you want to have kids, then fine you win. Let's have aing kid.

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81. I hate my life.

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82. I'm just gonna check on dinner.

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83. Can you not do that? It's disgusting.

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84. Oops.

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85. Hey babe?

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86. How about we take the beer sign down until our guests leave and then we can discuss it.

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87. Ok.

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88. At least he's an artist.

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89. AND I'M A CANDLEMAKER BUT YOU DON'T HEAR ME BRAGGING ABOUT IT!

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90. FOR AN INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY!

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91. YOU BURN IT. YOU BUY IT!

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92. AND YOU'RE HARDLY MY FIRST!

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93. Michael! Michael. What are you doing to him?

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94. Bye Babe!

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95. A little amuse-bouche, anyone?

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96. Okay, trivia! Does anyone know what that means?

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97. Oh!

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98. Ahh, did you wash your hands, babe?

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99. Are you eating?

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100. Really, Pam. This is a dinner party.

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