Jan Levinson Quotes from The Office (page 7)

Corporate VP, candle entrepreneur.

949 quotes · page 7 of 10

1. Yeah?

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2. Oh. I'll put in a good word for you.

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3. What?

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4. What's... what's the matter? What... what happened in there?

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5. Tell me what?

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6. You son of a bitch!

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7. You're

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8. Erratic?

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9. Is it because of these?

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10. No, I wanna know. I wanna know! Because if it is, then, then, then I will see you in court!

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11. No?

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12. Cause he likes them. Okay? He likes them. And, and that is, that is all I care about.

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13. Yeah!

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14. Okay, you know what? I'm just not leaving. I'm not leaving. Not leaving.

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15. Bye Hunter.

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16. Good luck with your band.

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17. Don't let them change you, okay? So long,.

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18. Oh, God! I mean, I just don't understand! It's just

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19. Oh, just... No, actually I think it's good, you know? It's fine, actually, I do. I really think it's great that it happened. Because, you know, my work has always been the thing that has gotten in the way of my happiness, so...

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20. Oh, I know, I know. It's just... I'm sorry. It's just these painkillers that I started taking since the surgery. Ohhh! They make my moods totally unpredictable! Wow! What am I gonna do?

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21. Live together. Actually, wait a minute! This could be great! This could be perfect! You know, my full-time job could be our relationship. I could wear stretch pants and wait for you to come home at 5:15. It could work. This could work, really!

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22. OK, name please.

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23. You're over 75 years old?

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24. There's no prize money.

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25. So I heard that you were peeping on Michael.

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26. I don't know what your deal is, but he's mine, OK? So hands off.

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27. Water? Water? Water babe?

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28. Michael that's irrational.

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29. Hi, Pam.

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30. Is Michael in?

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31. Hey.

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32. Ryan. Ryan. Ryan, Ryan.

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33. Well, not exactly my job... I had a different title.

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34. Different salary. You'll get there, don't worry.

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35. Thank you, thank you.

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36. Best decision I ever made.

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37. You know what? I love the beard. Keep it forever.

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38. Hey.

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39. What?

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40. So, what's Ryan doing here?

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41. He's such a snake.

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42. I hope he's gets hit with an ageism suit.

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43. Ageism? Companies they can't discriminate against people due to old age. Like a couple years ago we tried to force out some of the older branch managers with a mandatory retirement age and then Ed Truck, your old boss, threatened us with a lawsuit, so we had to back off.

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44. Yes, Michael, they do.

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45. Michael, please would you not email while we're having lunch?

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46. My friends? Michael, I was terminated.

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47. Is it really that important to you?

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48. Alright.

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49. Go by yourself.

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50. Well...

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51. What? No Michael!

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52. You do.

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53. Well, they both go with the carpet I've ordered, and if you go with the brown leather on the sofas, then they go with that too.

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54. A futon's not a sofa.

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55. I know what a futon is, Michael.

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56. It costs what it costs.

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57. We have gone through this.

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58. Conniving little runt. Put him through.

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59. So, um, I forgot to tell you that I need the car tonight.

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60. Why? Improv? Why don't you just pretend you have a car? Good practice, incase you ever do a scene where you need to pretend you have a car?

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61. You drive, I had too much wine.

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62. I didn't go.

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63. I just didn't!

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64. How was improv?

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65. You're broke?

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66. Michael, how did this happen? Where did all your money go? I don't, I don't get this. I really don't. I don't know how you could be so irresponsible. I mean, this is, it is astounding to me, really. I don't know what more to say.

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67. Yeah, what?

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68. Okay, where did he go?

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69. Well, is he coming right back?

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70. I'll be right there.

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71. Alright.

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72. Michael.

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73. What's going on?

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74. Well, why are you sitting on a train? Where are you going?

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75. What does that mean?

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76. Michael, come on. Running away from your problems won't solve anything. You know that.

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77. Your creditors can follow you anywhere with ease. Your debt follows you around the world, electronically.

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78. Uh, Michael, come on, come on, you can deal with this. It's not that bad.

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79. Well, when my life fell apart and they, and they screwed me in New York, and I felt like my whole world was collapsing around me, I didn't have anyone. I mean, my whole family still won't even talk to me, on the advice of counsel, and my friends were just waiting for this to happen.

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80. Michael, no, what I want to say is you were there for me. By my side. Without even a thought. That's just who you are. I mean, no matter how badly I treat you, or what I'm going through, you just, you are there for me. And that is a guy worth staying beside. So, where's this train taking us?

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81. I'm keeping them. I know you like them. They're kind of uncomfortable though.

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82. It's kind of painful and my nipples are over-sensitive now.

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83. I just think that...

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84. Why?

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85. I think you can. I... what?

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86. All right, well then maybe there's another way, you know? I mean, we could just... we'll think of something else.

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87. Well... well, we will.

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88. We just will.

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89. I have some ideas.

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90. I am not going to tell you yet.

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91. Oh, yes, you will.

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92. [laughing]

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93. I don't know, it's just, ugh, I never felt welcomed there, you know? It's such a...boys club.

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94. Good.

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95. And they displayed a pattern of disrespect and inappropriate behavior.

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96. Um, no, I want it up. My hair.

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97. Remember, it isn't just a pattern, It's a pattern of disrespect, and inappropriate behavior.

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98. Does this work for you?

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99. Uh, come on Michael, that's tacky.

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100. Four million.

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