thedundies.com

Jan Levinson Quotes from The Office (page 2)

Corporate VP, candle entrepreneur.

949 quotes · page 2 of 10

  1. Just the one.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4288

  2. Excuse me, could I have a vodka tonic, please?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4310

  3. We would probably be upset with ourselves if we went this whole night without talking business, so, Dunder-Mifflin can provide a level of personal service to the county that the warehouse chains just can't match.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4325

  4. What's the bottom line?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4327

  5. I don't think Christian has time for that.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4331

  6. Oh no, Michael, Michael, please. No, really.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4368

  7. We'd been fighting for a while-

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4372

  8. He didn't want kids, but I knew that going into it. But he also knew that I did. I guess I thought that he would change his mind; he thought that I would change mine.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4374

  9. I was stupid.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4376

  10. Uh-

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4395

  11. Bye... thanks. Yes!

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4404

  12. We got it!

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4406

  13. I am really- Thrilled. Let's go.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4408

  14. Let's go.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4410

  15. I'm almost there, so we should have plenty of time to go over the presentation.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4450

  16. And, uh, hmm, excuse me, I've also confirmed the meeting this afternoon at four p.m.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4452

  17. What?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4454

  18. What do you mean?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4456

  19. Michael. I need you to take this seriously.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4458

  20. Michael-

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4460

  21. Are you hearing me?

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4462

  22. This is a very important-

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4464

  23. I'll see you in ten minutes.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Line 4466

  24. Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4563

  25. I am returning your many calls.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4565

  26. No. No, we won't be discussing that, Michael. The only things I wanna talk about during your performance review are your concrete ideas to improve your branch.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4567

  27. Uh, your review is anything but a formality, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4569

  28. I expect you to forget anything that you think may have happened between us and exhibit completely professional behavior.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4571

  29. Ok, that is an example of completely unprofessional behavior.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4573

  30. Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4575

  31. Are the cameras with you...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4577

  32. ...in your office?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4579

  33. We'll address this in the meeting then. Ok. Ok, bye-bye. Could you please tell Michael that I'm here?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4600

  34. I'm good; how are you?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4603

  35. Nice to see you.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4605

  36. Can we please go in your office?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4607

  37. Thank you.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4611

  38. Nice to see you too, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4613

  39. Not like that.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4615

  40. You know Michael, I think I need to make something clear right off the top. I'm not going to discuss anything with you other than Dunder-Mifflin business.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4617

  41. Period.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4619

  42. Do we understand each other.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4621

  43. So are you still in the middle of the performance reviews then?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4624

  44. No.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4626

  45. Fine.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4628

  46. How is that a business question?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4630

  47. Please don't smell me, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4632

  48. Uh, I'd like to sit in on that meeting is it happening right now?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4647

  49. Great. Very good.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4650

  50. That sounds serious, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4657

  51. I can't, I can't-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4686

  52. Please sit down.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4688

  53. You're gonna sit here and I'm gonna go sit over there.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4690

  54. Please, sit yourself down.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4692

  55. What, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4694

  56. Because nothing did, Michael. It, I'm not going to say anything more about it, and I would advise that you do the same

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4698

  57. No, Dwight; come in.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4703

  58. Is this how you've been conducting all the reviews, Michael?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4708

  59. That's a serious offense!

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4715

  60. Oh! Michael, for God sakes!

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4717

  61. No.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4725

  62. Ok! Here's what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna step outside, collect my thoughts, and I will return in about ten minutes.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4728

  63. Thank you, Dwight.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4730

  64. Look, I know it's your job, I know you have to ask, but I promise you, I'm not gonna discuss it with him, I'm certainly not gonna discuss it with you. Do you have a light?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4731

  65. I'm heading back to New York; Alan and I will conduct your performance review over the phone tomorrow.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4743

  66. K?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4745

  67. Michael, now is not the time or the place.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4747

  68. No, I am saying we are never having this conversation.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4749

  69. Never, for me, always means 'never ever ever.'

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4751

  70. Michael, it has nothing-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4753

  71. With your looks, ok? It's your personality. I mean, you're obnoxious, and rude, and, and, and stupid, and you do have coffee breath, by the way, and, and I don't agree about the b.o., but you are very, very inconsiderate.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4755

  72. Really. You're, you're, you're a great guy, ok?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4757

  73. And you were very sweet, and you stayed up with me and talked with me, cried with me, and I appreciate that-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4759

  74. At this time in my life. I just am not in the place right now where I'm looking for a relationship, so we can still work together, we can still be friends but... ok?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4761

  75. Ohhh, God.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4763

  76. I am not going to discuss anything with you other than Dunder Mifflin business.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4790

  77. Period.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4792

  78. Do we understand each other?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4794

  79. Okay, let me make something clear. As embarrassing as this is, I feel that it needs to be said. There is nothing romantic or sexual going on with Michael and myself.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4843

  80. The other night, I gave him a polite congratulatory kiss because he just closed the biggest deal of his career. And that's it. If anything else has been implied, Dwight, or inferred, Michael, Creed, it's just not true, okay? It's not true. So... Is everyone straight on that?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4845

  81. Never for me always means never, ever, ever.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4879

  82. What?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4881

  83. What did you say, Michael?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4883

  84. Did you call my ex?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4885

  85. Gould, you said, Gould.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4887

  86. How dare you, Michael? My personal life is off-limits to you.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4889

  87. Okay, how dare you do that?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4891

  88. Why would he do that? Why would he call you, Michael? Why would my husband call you?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4893

  89. I mean...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4895

  90. Hello, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5880

  91. Can we come in?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5882

  92. Thank you very much.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5884

  93. Brenda.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5886

  94. Oh, really? A surprise visit from his boss?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5888

  95. A booze cruise? What do you mean?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5890

  96. Michael, we discussed the IRS's regulations.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5892

  97. Okay, this event has to have legitimate business content to be tax deductible.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5894

  98. We discussed that.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5896

  99. Good. This is Brenda Matlow from corporate training.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5898

  100. I thought she could attend tonight, and if your event is appropriate, you could give it to other branches.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5900