Darryl Philbin Quotes from The Office (page 8)

Warehouse foreman turned corporate.

1,281 quotes · page 8 of 13

1. Yeah, we had a few fights, I suppose. But last night we put a lot of that to bed. I can't tell you what I did with my ex wife last night'. I have to sing it. We took a shower, we were naked. We ska dap dap doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.

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2. rub a dub dub'I got scrubbed. 'Sup, darlin'? Everybody, this is Justine. This is Jim and Oscar, everybody.

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3. Follow me, I got a space. After you. I've been thinking about you all mornin'. I don't know what you did, I can barely walk today.

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4. A car parked in the sun is like a toaster oven.

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5. Hey, hey, hey. Vick did his time.

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6. Hello?....Justine! Nice surprise! How you doin' baby?....Nah. No no, I didn't win. When I got promoted I stop-...what?...Yeah. Yeah, Glenn won....Oh, you wanna call him? Yeah, you should call him, congratulate him. That'll be-...What?....Oh, his number's in your old phone. Oh, you know what? I might have it right- Whoops.

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7. When I worked in the warehouse, I was part of that lotto pool. They won ' playing my birthday.

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8. I don't know.

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9. No.

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10. I haven't hired anyone.

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11. I'm not checkin' email till lunch. Four hour work week.

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12. I got it. I'm doin' it.

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13. When did I get so fat?

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14. I didn't hire anyone if that's why you're here.

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15. I have a file of applicants here. I just gotta open it, look at it, interview a bunch of guys,hire some of 'em. So I'd say we're in the early stages of the process.

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16. The guys did invite me out to celebrate but I decided to just stay home. Eat a bunch of tacos in my basement.

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17. I did. I did have a fantastic basement. Now it smells like tacos. You can't air out a basement and taco air is heavy. Settles at the lowest point.

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18. You mean what did we do the last time the warehouse won the lottery?

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19. Oh yeah.

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20. One of 'em, Glenn, is starting one of those fat camps where he steals your kid in the middle of the night. Madge and a couple other guys might start a strip club, but on a boat. And Heday is investing in an energy drink for Asian homosexuals.

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21. I don't

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22. Nope. I'm good. I'm here. Let's find some warehouse workers.

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23. OK.

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24. OK.

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25. Yeah.

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26. Why do you wanna work here?

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27. That's not a good reason.

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28. Don't just take the first job that comes your way. Cause next thing you know, it's ten years later and you're still there. Could write your obituary tomorrow, it's not gonna change.

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29. I hope so. Think about this carefully. There's better lives than this one.

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30. I've never been lucky. And I'm not talkin' about the lottery, I'm talkin' 'bout stuff like developing a soy allergy at thirty-five. Who gets a soy allergy at thirty-five? And why is soy in everything?

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31. Did you hire 'em?

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32. What do you mean 'they left'?

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33. Then I think you should fire me.

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34. Yeah. Just put me out of my misery.

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35. No? OK. I don't wanna be here anymore. Fire me.

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36. Would you just fire me, man?

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37. You wanna make me happy? Huh?

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38. Give me your job.

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39. I'll do it better than you. I earned it. I deserve it. I got passed over, God knows why, reasons I cannot and will not understand. The job was mine Andy, everyone said it was mine. Make me manager or fire me.

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40. He died.

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41. I didn't have time because of my daughter.

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42. Hey I'm not gonna tell you this stuff if you gonna throw it back in my face.

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43. OK.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46550

44. OK, don't fire me.

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46552

45. My future's not gonna be determined by seven little white lotto balls. It's gonna be determined by two big black balls. I control my destiny. I do.

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46. I put some guys on tonight. Best of your bunch and my bunch. Tell you now though, it's gonna be mostly my bunch.

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47. Why is the forklift in the wall?

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48. Is that grease on my floor?

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49. And did your brains tell you to ruin these boxes with grease?

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50. And?

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46568

51. Let me see it.

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52. Let me see it!

    Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46583

53. What happens when we're done chewing? Do we spit it out on the floor, or keep it in our mouths the rest of the time?

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54. There's a grill in the warehouse I could bring.

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55. I've seen this, that's not you.

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56. Yeah, I'll say something. I think we should be acknowledging our boss, because none of us would be here without him. Robert California!

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57. I think if I had parents like that I'd be trying to convince everyone all the time how great I was, too.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46833

58. Rosebud?

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59. I know Citizen Kane. Rosebud didn't explain why he was how he was, it just represented what was important to him as a child, that he missed.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46837

60. No. You're wrong.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46839

61. Cheeseburger or hamburger.

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62. He gets condescending when he's nervous. Or when he's excited or sleepy. Not an easy person to be friends with.

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46869

63. Put it on, man.

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64. Three Kings.

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65. This party's tight. The fog is cool.

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66. Perfect.

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67. I just don't get it, Pam. I mean, you're a rational person.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47108

68. Dwight?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47118

69. Dwight.

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70. Dwight!

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71. [in the bathroom with Robert[ Yeah, I guess sometimes I have nightmares about being buried alive.

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72. Nahh! No. Not Justine. Never Justine.

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73. Oh yeah.

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74. Ahh'We don't really do those. We just sign the thing.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47227

75. I'll be there.

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76. It's not a race.

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77. Who knows what the belt is for?

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78. Apparently we have a visitor. Gabe, everyone.

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79. All right so the support belt. Now this one is mine. Doesn't get much use nowadays.

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80. You done?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47298

81. Once you read the packet, sign the back.

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82. Actually, Val, why don't you come with? I'll need the extra hands to carry them back.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47325

83. Mmhmm. Caramel soy latte.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47328

84. Got it.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47330

85. Yeah, when are they gonna do a Labradoodle that's just Lab?

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86. Good policy. Sensible. Smart.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47411

87. What are you doing here, Gabe?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47497

88. [on phone]It's Darryl. Erin told me to pretend to be a cop and say your mom died.

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89. Dude.

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90. Look man this is a bad idea.

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91. Really? That is messed up man.

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92. You're a bad man Andy Bernard.

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93. That stuff can come back to get you. It's called karma. You do not want to be messing around. I got an uncle'

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47551

94. What are you doing with my lunch?

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95. It's not pizza.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47573

96. I like the sound of that. Is Kevin in?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47575

97. Nice scatting, man.

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98. That was never agreed upon.

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99. Again, never agreed upon.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47619

100. Usually that life is short and tragic. That's okay, right?

     Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47621