Darryl Philbin Quotes from The Office (page 10)

Warehouse foreman turned corporate.

1,281 quotes · page 10 of 13

1. This is Darryl.

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2. Your girlfriend? Is your girlfriend Val?

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3. We're friends. We're friends.

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4. Yeah sorry, I'm just looking for a pen.

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5. Back off! I got my reasons.

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6. Hey what's up? You called?

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7. It's cool really.

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8. 'This coupon entitles you to one free tickle monster attack'

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9. Thanks. Nice flowers.

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10. Your mom?

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11. Uh. So I guess that was your mom who called me earlier looking for the address? Real deep voiced woman?

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12. She said her name was Brandon, I think. Your mom's name is Brandon?

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13. Then I guess I figured out where I stand. This is a love beanie.

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14. I loved it.

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15. Oh yeah.

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16. Yes sir. Thanks.

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17. Andy, when I was twelve years old, we did a field trip, a lock-in at the zoo. I met this girl, I thought she was so perfect. I was in love with her. But when the sun came up, I knew it wasn't real, 'cause she was ugly and I had grown tired of her. I know you want reception today, but tomorrow you won't want to do her. She's a dog.

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18. Processed.

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19. What's up man? I'm Darryl.

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20. Oh yeah.

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21. I'm not sleeping with your girlfriend.

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22. I got too much ice cream. You want some?' 'Getting' my fry on.'

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23. Uh, 'The moon is huge tonight.'

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24. That's regular text talk.

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25. You're such a great friend.'

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26. You're such a great friend, dot dot dot dot dot.'

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27. Yeah, totally crazy. Puts me in an insane asylum just thinking about it. I'm stranded on shutter island over here.

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28. She's got a boyfriend.

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29. It has been processed.

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30. Sure.

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31. Hey, just so you know, me and you' I don't think that's ridiculous' Dot, dot, dot' dot, dot.

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32. Andy, who punched you?

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33. Guys, guys. That's so vague. You gotta do the zip plus four. 1-8-5-0-5 dash 7-4-2-7.

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34. What?

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35. Oh my God, I think I see the imprint of a ring pop.

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36. Hey, man. Selling cookies for Jada. Want the same as last year?

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37. I'll put you down for shortbreads.

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38. No. No.

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39. I been selling here for five years. This is my spot.

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40. You know what? It's your first time, let's split the office. You can have sales, the annex, Creed, and I don't know I'll just take, uh, accounting.

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41. OK, great.

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42. All I need is Kevin. Dude buys more cookies than everyone combined and then some. When I first started selling cookies he was a relatively thin man. Not a thin man, mind you. Relatively thin.

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43. Would you like to buy some cookies?

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44. It's not a scratch-and-sniff, Kev.

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45. You're new to the game. You learned a lesson today. See you next year, sport.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50916

46. That doesn't mean anything. Kevin, do you want to buy cookies from me?

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50920

47. Huh. Hit the road, jack.

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48. What's a skinny guy like Toby know about cookies? You can't trust him to understand the wants and needs of the thick man. Maybe Toby from two years ago.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50987

49. Thank you.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50990

50. Look, I need this. Ok? Your daughter is a pretty little girl. Let her go door-to-door. You think people gonna buy cookies from my chubby daughter?

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51. Baby, if you're watching this, you're not chubby, you're beautiful. Daddy's just got to sell some cookies. And we're also gonna exercise more. It's gonna be fun.

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52. No, no, no, no. It's not worth it.

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53. Yeah, ok so what, you buy 40 boxes?

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54. You're not talking... triple digits?

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55. Hi. This is Alex.

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56. Kevin can't come to the phone right now because he's busy with us.

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57. I don't know, man, they might think we're drag queens.

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58. Forget it, man.

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59. I'm out. And so is Toby.

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60. This may be wrong. But there's a limit to what I would do for my child.

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61. Hey, hey. They're back.

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62. I was still thinking of going back to school.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51129

63. Me.

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64. No.

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65. No.

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66. No.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51298

67. No.

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68. No.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51302

69. Oh, in the warehouse we use code names for people we want to talk about. Andy was Jelly Roll. Mike was Dennis the Menace. Ryan was douche bag.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51574

70. So how was the drive in?

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71. You don't say?

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72. Phyllis. This rain... does it make you wanna be doing something?

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73. Uh... I have other issues. I'm terrible at math. Overweight. You- you're in great shape. A lot better shape than I am, tell you what.

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74. He does not like that wall.

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75. Looking good, RC!

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76. You really re-did Andy's office, huh?

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77. I need you to sign these, we got a shipment going out.

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78. You could go downstairs and ask them?

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79. Who knew, right?

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80. Tacos.

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81. I can go get us some tacos.

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82. If you loan me some money.

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83. $30.00

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84. Tacos were on sale, eight for $3!

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85. Hmhmm.

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86. She's trying.

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87. Pepper's been getting me out of the house, going on runs.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52207

88. Is she sick? How are her poops?

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89. Let me get this straight. You lost all of it. All your winnings. A hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

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90. You mean to tell me no one wanted an energy drink for Asian homosexuals?

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91. And you got half a million of these? Well I gotta try it.

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92. Aw, come on. What's the harm? Mmm. What flavor was that?

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93. The coconut's pretty subtle.

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94. I don't know, man. Y'all quit with a lot of confidence. I mean, it was like, y'all came up in here dancing and everybody was- ooh, hold on a second. Oh.

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95. If I were Val, I would break up with Brandon. Then I would date the hell out of me. I wouldn't give in to me too fast, let me buy myself some nice dinners and such. But when I finally did give in, I would go crazy on myself.

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96. A lot has changed since y'all left, okay? You're gonna have to jump through some hoops. And the new foreman is here. Now she's one of the best we've ever known, okay? So I need you to show her your upmost respect. Make sure she feels welcome and at home, okay? Can you do that?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52660

97. I would.

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98. Yeah.

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99. Yes, I am. Just so everyone's on the same page.

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100. Good slam.

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