Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 9)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 9 of 40

1. Is somebody there?

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2. I have needs.

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3. Naked.

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4. We'll discuss it later naked. I want to see you naked.

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5. Oscar

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6. That was fun last night.

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7. You know, it's true what they say--- Long Island iced teas are way stronger in Canada.

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8. You kidding me? It's what I do. Get the whole nine 'nards.

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9. Totally. What--- Who?

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10. We called Angela?

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11. That was real?! I thought I dreamed that. Oh, God!

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12. Oh, God!

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13. So bad!

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14. Oh man, she is so pissed.

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15. She's taking us back to first base.

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16. I get to kiss her forehead. I had a good time hanging out this weekend.

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17. Wingman for life. W.M.F.L

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18. You up for a chest bump?

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19. Bro hug? Back to basics. I like it.

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20. I had to go all the way to Canada to get to know a guy who sits 20 feet away from me. And he's delightful!

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21. So, Tunes, you still gonna buy your old man's place?

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22. Ehhh no, I was just walking by your desk. I saw some email. I got peepers of an eagle.

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23. Kaaw!

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24. Whoa, you haven't told the misses about the castle? You're in for a spanking my friend. Myself and my lady? - no secrets.

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25. That is just obnoxious.

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26. No, the note is way more obnoxious than the mess.

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27. Dwight, I'm a little concerned about some of these directions to Schrute Farms...

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28. I mean, like, '156 paces from the light red mailbox, make a left.'

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29. Walk until you hear the beehive.'

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30. Let's three-way this little issue, and come to a solution by the time we get to Schrute Farms, how's that for a plan?

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31. We're getting married at Schrute Farms, no matter what. I have looked at twelve venues, I have lost eight deposits, and I have seen Angela naked zero times. I am not losing another deposit.

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32. Hmm... mm, what's that smell?

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33. Uh, Dwight, if we pay extra, could you slaughter the entrees the day before?

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34. See? That's how you do it! Makin' progress here. ...Darn! Heh.

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35. Okay.

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36. Okay, guys!

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37. What is this? All right, we're all on the same team. Is it- Damn! Why is that in the kitchen?!

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38. Hey-o!

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39. [whistling Pachelbel's 'Canon in D;' switches to singing then back to whistling]

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40. I'm Andy.

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41. What?

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42. Are we, uh... are we leaving or what? Ow!

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43. Hey Tuna, check it out. Tuna sandwich. Just like you. What-

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44. Was that hot or what?

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45. Hey, hey... Ange... check it out. There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance.

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46. There's a hole in the wall where the men can see it all.

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47. Sorry.

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48. When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Line 25961

49. What's up?

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50. Sure.

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Line 26020

51. All right, everybody's still here. Perfect! Got a little surprise I've been working on. Angela, my bride, I just wanted you to know that for the rest of our lives, no matter the cultural milieu, I will always be there to bring you Christmas cheer. Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. Tis the season to be jolly. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. Don we now our gay apparel. Fa-la-la-la-la-LA. Troll the little Yule tide carol. Roo-di-di-di-do. Roododododo.

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Line 26105

52. Sure. Dooo. Tough room. Come on. I just learned it. Just so you know protocol is a little round of applause. But, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

    Season 5 · Episode 10 · Line 26107

53. Excuse me, everyone, can I have the floor please? Um, this is insanely awkward. It's kind of the elephant in the room, so I'll just... No one has RSVP'ed to our wedding yet, and the deadline was yesterday.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26133

54. Hmm?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26136

55. No, no one has RSVP'ed, and I don't understand it, and now, you're shutting me out. You're not even listening. That's really considerate. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26144

56. That cannot be true! You're going to charge me a fee to cut my own cake? Uh, no. No, no, no. What I'm saying is, I want to cut it myself...

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26170

57. When what? When what?

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58. What can't go on?

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59. Seems like...

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60. You guys should... be hearing what I'm saying.

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61. Yeah.

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62. Will do, boss-man.

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63. You're not making any sense.

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64. All righty.

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65. Have a good meeting!

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66. Kick Wallace's ass!

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67. I can't hear you through the glass

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26234

68. What?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26236

69. Are you serious?

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70. I need to talk to you.

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71. I need to talk to you in private.

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72. Let's go to the conference room.

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73. Is it true?

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74. That you're sleeping with Dwight.

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75. Is it true?

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76. Just answer the question. Are you sleeping with Dwight?

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77. How long has it been going on?

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78. Who else knows about it?

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79. Who else?

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80. Oh God. Come on!

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81. So like, missionary...

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82. Do you love him?

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83. Why should I believe that?

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84. Who says that?

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85. Where's Dwight?

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86. No. Not at all, actually. But thanks for asking. Appreciate it. You know what? I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for lying. To my face. And not telling me what's been going on this entire time.

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87. Dwight.

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88. It's over.

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89. No. It's over between you two.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Line 26294

90. You have to.

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91. She doesn't love you. She's marrying me.

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92. Angela Bernard.

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93. It will be her name. And you will have to call her that!

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94. I'm telling you to back down.

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95. Then I'll make you.

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96. Through the use of force.

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97. I will fight you.

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98. Fine!

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99. Guess what? Not happening at work.

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100. We're gonna do it outside.

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