Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 10)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 10 of 40

1. None of your business.

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2. My bare hands.

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3. Then I'll get something too.

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4. I will be taking my break at 4:00 in the parking lot.

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5. What a coincidence.

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6. Yeah.

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7. You give up?

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8. I am a man! I'm a bigger man than you'll ever be! I would never sleep with another man's fiance!

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9. Protect her from what? Bears, you idiot? When's the last time you saw a damn bear in Scranton?

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10. Go away, Tuna! I'm winning this!

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11. What did you say? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.

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12. What? You stupid idiot! You're like, you're like a Sasquatch! You live in the woods...

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13. I don't get it! How can she be sleeping with you this whole time and only sleep with me twice?

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14. What!

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15. I'm her fiance.

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16. Yes, hi, my last name is Bernard, and I would like to cancel a wedding cake that I had ordered. B-E-R, N-A, R-D. Yeah, the one shaped like a sailboat... Yep, that's the one.

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17. Thank you.

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18. What are you guys talking about?

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19. Who is the gal in question?

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20. Each side will have three minutes to prepare opening arguments. Topic: Hillary Swank is attractive.

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21. Okay, TMI.

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22. Okay, it is time for the final votes. All of those in favor of resolution Hillary Swank is hot? Okay. And all those opposed?

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23. Whoa, fire!

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24. It-- it's warm.

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25. Aah! This ones hot too!

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26. Get out of the way!

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27. Move it!

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28. The fire's shooting at us!

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29. Yes! Yes, ba-- Yes, battering ram! Battering ram!

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30. Go, go, go, go, go!!

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31. You're choking him!

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32. A throne for your highness.

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33. Oh you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man, no time to talk. Music loud, women warm, been kicked around since I was born. Oh, it's alright, it's okay, you can look the other way. Loo do do!

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34. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da

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35. Stanley.

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36. Hope you brought your appetitos. My lady. My tuna. A little movie popcorn. Uh, damn it. This movie, a lot of buzz. Not coming out for another six months. Mrs. Albert Hannaday. So, friendship with the Nard-dog has its privileges.

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37. Hmm? Who? Sam?

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38. Hmm.

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39. Jim and Pam are, like, movie geniuses. They're catching things that are totally going over my head.

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40. I know it man. You know, Lilly was supposed to be Nicole Kidman, um and it was gonna be Sophie's mom, not grandmother. But then Nicole kidman dropped out so they went with Lily, with a small rewrite.

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41. Yeah... but... eh... breakfast? You mean when they were eating soup? I don't think that was breakfast. Unless soup, does soup symbolize breakfast?

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42. You guys, they're making out.

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43. What I hate about you, you really suck as a boss, you're the laziest, jerkiest and you're dumber than applesauce. We're stuck listening to you all day, Stanley tried to die just to get away, heeey, well it's true. That's what I hate about you. That's what I hate about you. Yeah. And now, a man that deserves no introduction, Michael Scott.

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44. Sam! Sam!

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45. I am not insightful enough to be a movie critic. Mm... maybe I could be a food critic. These muffins taste bad. Hmm, or an art critic. That painting is bad.

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46. Um Phyllis, who's that?

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47. For your information, I have been with lots of beautiful women.

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48. This conversation is over.

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49. I am single now. What we have here, is the ultimate smackdown between the Nard-Dog and crippling despair, loneliness, and depression. I intend to win.

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50. Trying to see what CD's she got. It's good to know the deets about the girl you're wooing. Eh, Aha! Fiest. Yes! Whoa! Aah, Aah!

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51. Brought you guys some coffees. Stanley, I know you have adult onset diabetes. So I put Splenda in yours. Let's see. How many did I put in there? One, Two, Three, Four Splenda's in your coffee, Stanley. None in yours, Julia, cause I don't know how you take it. But if you'd rather...

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52. Well, No, I actually only put in two. But that's not how the songs goes.

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53. Are you out of your damn mind? You bring an angel like that into this office, and you don't even set me up with her.

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54. We are friends. Stanley, we're friends. And you let me down.

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55. Yeah. I really like her with all my heart.

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56. So Julia, um, let's see. With regards to, uh, billing. Should we send bills to you, or to your boyfriend's house or?

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57. Oh Okay, all right. That makes sense. How does your boyfriend, deal with your phenomenal success? Is he just, like, totally threatened by you, or?

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58. Really? Is that... wow, that's so weird.

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59. Guys, stop everything. I'm about to ask out this girl, and I'm completely panicking.

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60. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've seen her, like, three times today. And we love all the same music, and whenever I walk into a room, she totally looks up.

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61. Okay, it sounds risky.

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62. Wait, what?

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63. Oh, my pleasure. Yeah, there's all kinds of weirdo's out here, so...

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64. I am about to die. Will you wait here while I go get my jacket?

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65. Okay, Okay. Well listen, you're a new client, and as one of my new clients, you will always be taken care of. And that is the Nard-Dog guarantee.

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66. This is the Nard-Dog.

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67. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh I, I thought we had this energy. And I'm a mess. And I just had my heart broken. And you came in today and your so pretty. You're, like, incredibly pretty.

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68. Yeah, right? Wow. Yeah. Do you want to talk about it? Go to a mall of something? Just walk around?

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69. Sure, yeah that's... your right. It's too soon for... definitely too soon for me. So I'm glad we go that out of the way. I'm gonna be in touch with you. In three months. I'm gonna call you about that order. And maybe about that mall walk.

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70. Take care Julia.

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71. Sorry I tried to kiss y...

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72. We lost the account.

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73. Golden Girls. That's a golden ticket idea, right, I mean how great was that show? Golden Grahams. Another, is it -- I don't get this...

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74. No! No! No!

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75. You're making it too easy for her. You're just conveying, 'Oh I like you just the way you are.'

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76. Well that's not what we agreed on.

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77. Huh?

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78. No.

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79. You're asking him to give up all of his power.

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80. You can't let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you. Every compliment has to be backhanded. 'Oh I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair.'

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81. That's low, Tuna.

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82. Don't touch her. Don't talk to her. Don't look at her.

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83. ...turn into this black and carbon brick-where this barbeque sauce of shame and rage and two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that.

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84. Well, it's uh, his funeral. So... neh!

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85. Hey-o!

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86. Duuudes, stop.

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87. Stop doing that!

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88. Cool.

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89. I'm telling you, when corporate sends somebody, it is big trouble, or, really good news. And then sometimes it means business as usual.

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90. Why are you asking him? I just told you why he's here.

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91. For four more days.

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92. Hey Michael...

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93. Can I talk to you a minute?

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94. I just wanted to tell you that... Oh What? What's that?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28512

95. Um, you know, cause your leaving and so, it's a farewell...

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96. I hope I get to work with you someday again.

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97. Ah... busted. Yes

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98. Oh.

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99. No way!?

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100. In this climate?

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