Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 10)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 10 of 40

1. None of your business.

   Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26325

2. My bare hands.

   Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26327

3. Then I'll get something too.

   Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26329

4. I will be taking my break at 4:00 in the parking lot.

   Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26335

5. What a coincidence.

   Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26337

6. Yeah.

   Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26370

7. You give up?

   Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26373

8. I am a man! I'm a bigger man than you'll ever be! I would never sleep with another man's fiance!

   Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26375

9. Protect her from what? Bears, you idiot? When's the last time you saw a damn bear in Scranton?

   Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26377

10. Go away, Tuna! I'm winning this!

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26382

11. What did you say? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26384

12. What? You stupid idiot! You're like, you're like a Sasquatch! You live in the woods...

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26386

13. I don't get it! How can she be sleeping with you this whole time and only sleep with me twice?

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26388

14. What!

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26390

15. I'm her fiance.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26392

16. Yes, hi, my last name is Bernard, and I would like to cancel a wedding cake that I had ordered. B-E-R, N-A, R-D. Yeah, the one shaped like a sailboat... Yep, that's the one.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26394

17. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26396

18. What are you guys talking about?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26425

19. Who is the gal in question?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26427

20. Each side will have three minutes to prepare opening arguments. Topic: Hillary Swank is attractive.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26507

21. Okay, TMI.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26512

22. Okay, it is time for the final votes. All of those in favor of resolution Hillary Swank is hot? Okay. And all those opposed?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26647

23. Whoa, fire!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26667

24. It-- it's warm.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26686

25. Aah! This ones hot too!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26695

26. Get out of the way!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26700

27. Move it!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26702

28. The fire's shooting at us!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26718

29. Yes! Yes, ba-- Yes, battering ram! Battering ram!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26720

30. Go, go, go, go, go!!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26722

31. You're choking him!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26735

32. A throne for your highness.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26796

33. Oh you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man, no time to talk. Music loud, women warm, been kicked around since I was born. Oh, it's alright, it's okay, you can look the other way. Loo do do!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26844

34. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26846

35. Stanley.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26866

36. Hope you brought your appetitos. My lady. My tuna. A little movie popcorn. Uh, damn it. This movie, a lot of buzz. Not coming out for another six months. Mrs. Albert Hannaday. So, friendship with the Nard-dog has its privileges.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26879

37. Hmm? Who? Sam?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26894

38. Hmm.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26897

39. Jim and Pam are, like, movie geniuses. They're catching things that are totally going over my head.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26898

40. I know it man. You know, Lilly was supposed to be Nicole Kidman, um and it was gonna be Sophie's mom, not grandmother. But then Nicole kidman dropped out so they went with Lily, with a small rewrite.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26912

41. Yeah... but... eh... breakfast? You mean when they were eating soup? I don't think that was breakfast. Unless soup, does soup symbolize breakfast?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26917

42. You guys, they're making out.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26919

43. What I hate about you, you really suck as a boss, you're the laziest, jerkiest and you're dumber than applesauce. We're stuck listening to you all day, Stanley tried to die just to get away, heeey, well it's true. That's what I hate about you. That's what I hate about you. Yeah. And now, a man that deserves no introduction, Michael Scott.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 27036

44. Sam! Sam!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 27059

45. I am not insightful enough to be a movie critic. Mm... maybe I could be a food critic. These muffins taste bad. Hmm, or an art critic. That painting is bad.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 27066

46. Um Phyllis, who's that?

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27142

47. For your information, I have been with lots of beautiful women.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27144

48. This conversation is over.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27146

49. I am single now. What we have here, is the ultimate smackdown between the Nard-Dog and crippling despair, loneliness, and depression. I intend to win.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27147

50. Trying to see what CD's she got. It's good to know the deets about the girl you're wooing. Eh, Aha! Fiest. Yes! Whoa! Aah, Aah!

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27195

51. Brought you guys some coffees. Stanley, I know you have adult onset diabetes. So I put Splenda in yours. Let's see. How many did I put in there? One, Two, Three, Four Splenda's in your coffee, Stanley. None in yours, Julia, cause I don't know how you take it. But if you'd rather...

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27214

52. Well, No, I actually only put in two. But that's not how the songs goes.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27216

53. Are you out of your damn mind? You bring an angel like that into this office, and you don't even set me up with her.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27218

54. We are friends. Stanley, we're friends. And you let me down.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27220

55. Yeah. I really like her with all my heart.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27222

56. So Julia, um, let's see. With regards to, uh, billing. Should we send bills to you, or to your boyfriend's house or?

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27251

57. Oh Okay, all right. That makes sense. How does your boyfriend, deal with your phenomenal success? Is he just, like, totally threatened by you, or?

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27253

58. Really? Is that... wow, that's so weird.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27255

59. Guys, stop everything. I'm about to ask out this girl, and I'm completely panicking.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27256

60. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've seen her, like, three times today. And we love all the same music, and whenever I walk into a room, she totally looks up.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27259

61. Okay, it sounds risky.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27261

62. Wait, what?

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27263

63. Oh, my pleasure. Yeah, there's all kinds of weirdo's out here, so...

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27271

64. I am about to die. Will you wait here while I go get my jacket?

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27273

65. Okay, Okay. Well listen, you're a new client, and as one of my new clients, you will always be taken care of. And that is the Nard-Dog guarantee.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27275

66. This is the Nard-Dog.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27277

67. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh I, I thought we had this energy. And I'm a mess. And I just had my heart broken. And you came in today and your so pretty. You're, like, incredibly pretty.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27279

68. Yeah, right? Wow. Yeah. Do you want to talk about it? Go to a mall of something? Just walk around?

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27281

69. Sure, yeah that's... your right. It's too soon for... definitely too soon for me. So I'm glad we go that out of the way. I'm gonna be in touch with you. In three months. I'm gonna call you about that order. And maybe about that mall walk.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27283

70. Take care Julia.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27285

71. Sorry I tried to kiss y...

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27287

72. We lost the account.

    Season 5 · Episode 14 · Quote 27288

73. Golden Girls. That's a golden ticket idea, right, I mean how great was that show? Golden Grahams. Another, is it -- I don't get this...

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 27928

74. No! No! No!

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 27931

75. You're making it too easy for her. You're just conveying, 'Oh I like you just the way you are.'

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 27933

76. Well that's not what we agreed on.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 27935

77. Huh?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 27937

78. No.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 27939

79. You're asking him to give up all of his power.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 27941

80. You can't let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you. Every compliment has to be backhanded. 'Oh I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair.'

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 27944

81. That's low, Tuna.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 27947

82. Don't touch her. Don't talk to her. Don't look at her.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28048

83. ...turn into this black and carbon brick-where this barbeque sauce of shame and rage and two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28049

84. Well, it's uh, his funeral. So... neh!

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28164

85. Hey-o!

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28252

86. Duuudes, stop.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28378

87. Stop doing that!

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28382

88. Cool.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28448

89. I'm telling you, when corporate sends somebody, it is big trouble, or, really good news. And then sometimes it means business as usual.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28469

90. Why are you asking him? I just told you why he's here.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28472

91. For four more days.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28498

92. Hey Michael...

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28508

93. Can I talk to you a minute?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28510

94. I just wanted to tell you that... Oh What? What's that?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28512

95. Um, you know, cause your leaving and so, it's a farewell...

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28514

96. I hope I get to work with you someday again.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28516

97. Ah... busted. Yes

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28518

98. Oh.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28520

99. No way!?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28623

100. In this climate?

     Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28625