Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 6)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 6 of 40

1. News flash. I got some juicy updates on Operation Fallen Angel. Remind me to tell you later.

   Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19422

2. Break me off a piece of that lumber tar. Snickers bar.

   Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19453

3. Break me off a piece of that Grey Poupon.

   Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19455

4. Let me pour you some bubbly because somebody got to a whole new level last night.

   Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19476

5. No, no no no, this is good. You know how we haven't really gotten anywhere that I want to get to physically yet? Well, last night, that changed. We're makin' out, I'm kissin' her neck, and cheek and her ear lobe, and she's not really kissing me back. But she closes her eyes and she's like, 'Oh D, oh D.'

   Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19478

6. Yeah. D for Andy.

   Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19480

7. Oh D.

   Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19482

8. Oh D!

   Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19484

9. Claude Van Damme, Hair for Men, poison gas, NutraSweet. It's gotta rhyme with 'piece.' Fancy Feast! Break me off a piece of that Fancy Feast! It's the cat food. Nailed it.

   Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19508

10. Totally, I mean, come on, such a free spirit.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19725

11. Just came to discuss my favorite E.M. Forester novel. Pam, these finger sandwiches look finger-lickin' delicious Pam.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19727

12. The Finer Things Club is the most exclusive club in this office. Naturally, it's where I need to be. The party planning committee is my back up, and Kevin's band is my safety.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19729

13. Fine. I'll just sit here, in the common area, and read my book. Which just happens to be the very same book you're reading.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19730

14. Why can't I be in the club?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19732

15. So, Stanley, are you really outta here?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19760

16. I'm gonna miss you man, you've been like an uncle to me. Like a kind old uncle Remus. I wanna stay in touch.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19762

17. Oh-oh, come on!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19835

18. And let me just add, that as a member of The Finer Things Club, I would bring a strong financial contribution to any discretionary funds that we may have. Finally, here is a recommendation from former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19851

19. Mmmhmm.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19853

20. Dear Andrew Bernard, after carefully examining your application to The Finer Things Club, we are unable to offer you a position at this place and time. We would, however, like to place you on a list in case an opportunity arises when your inclusion can be tolerated. Your position as an ongoing financial patron, however, is yours to cherish. Sincerely, The Finer Things Club. Yeees! I got waitlisted.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19861

21. I got into Cornell off the Wait List. A lot of people were like, 'Oh, you just got into Cornell because your dad donated a building.' No. Okay. I got into Cornell because I'm smart. I'm smart enough to have a dad who donates buildings to things.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19862

22. Tuna.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20045

23. Me likey the ice cream cake, okay? Fudgie the Whale.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20047

24. Well, I'm just saying, you know, if you want to make people happy, namely me, you will have a Fudgie the Whale.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20049

25. Wow, OK, harsh. Just don't expect me to show up.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20051

26. Loud and clear.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20053

27. Pizza rolls.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20055

28. Mushroom caps.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20057

29. I played a lot of pong growing up. I spent a lot of time on cruise ships. I'm also a monster snorkler.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20438

30. Okay, you know what, this table's not regulation.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20439

31. Do you know anything about physics?

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20441

32. Just serve. Let's go. Dammit! These balls are weighted weird, aren't they?

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20443

33. Yeah. Get another one.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20445

34. I don't know! No, okay, just... serve!

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20447

35. Hey-o!

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20482

36. Tuna! What's up Tuna, we having tuna for dinner? I bet you're sick of tuna right? You probably have tuna every night. Tuna! These are for you.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20558

37. Except for one flower, which is for... my flower.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20561

38. No it's a... hump. There's a hump.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20586

39. Okay yes, first name of that animal and the second name is the state where Helena is the capital.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20588

40. Yes! Yes.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20592

41. Michael, you're up.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20612

42. Time!

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20628

43. Thought about it, I'm in.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20654

44. Yeah it does.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20685

45. I believe it means mouth pleaser.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20755

46. It's French. I studied some French during my semester at sea. Or, shall I say a semester at la mer, which is French for 'sea.'

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20757

47. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20759

48. Mmm.

    Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20765

49. I lost a penny out of my loafers, Oscar.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20805

50. I left my cell phone in my car.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20830

51. Because of the construction at W.B. Jones, half of us have to park in the satellite lot.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20861

52. It's like a ten minute walk.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20863

53. Yes.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20867

54. OK.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20869

55. ...So help us out.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20871

56. We won't let you down.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20875

57. Uh Michael Scott could not make it today due to an unforeseen prior engagement.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20943

58. Gentleman please. We called this meeting. Andrew Bernard is the name of me. And this is my associate, Mr. Kevin Malone.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20945

59. Well first of all, I'd just like to say what an honor it is to be sitting here with you gentlemen.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20948

60. I did it.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20989

61. Yeah, there it is. You're welcome.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20994

62. Did I do this for me? No, I did this for the little guy. For Joe Sixpack. The guy who wakes up every morning in his four hundred dollar a month apartment, wonders how's he gonna pay his mortgage that month. Wonders how he's gonna fill his car up with oil. Wonders how I'm gonna pay my kid's orphanage bills. That guy shouldn't have to wonder where he's gonna park.

    Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20995

63. Oh yes! Count me in dudes. I am in some serious need of some bro' time. Old ball and chain's been a lot more chain than ball lately if you know what I'm saying.

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21165

64. Yes, it's Eddie.

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21231

65. By a show of hands, who thinks we're a better couple than Jim and Pam?

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21261

66. Yeah, Pam! Hit me up! Go long. Woo!

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21295

67. Here it is, you should draw a picture...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21456

68. Cause that says, that says...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21458

69. So much more than words...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21460

70. Okay, adjective...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21483

71. Good one. Okay, you ready?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21485

72. The tall man entered the nice building to visit a very nice man. 'Sit down, Mr. Smith, can I interest you in any good... cat food?'

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21487

73. What about a cat eating man food?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21489

74. What if we changed our outgoing answering machine message, so it just had a little more... zing, and a little more pep?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21502

75. You meet a lot of ladies driving an Xterra, because you pull up to a stoplight, and look over and there's an Xterra next to you. They're always driven by chicks, so there's your icebreaker.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21532

76. That's a racing stripe.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21534

77. Mmm, I doubt that very much.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21536

78. How next to?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21538

79. I have to pick one of those?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21540

80. Can you go over those options again?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21542

81. Well I have the, the blue book value...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21544

82. Can I think about it?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21546

83. Let me think about it--

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21548

84. Let me think about it--

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21550

85. I'm thinking about it--

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21552

86. Thinking--

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21554

87. Yeah. All right!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21556

88. What the hell is this all about? You're flipping my car for profit.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21635

89. I gave you a deal... based on what you said to me.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Quote 21637

90. Oh no! No, no-no-no-no! My grandfather would be spinning in his urn, if he knew that I was out here with a Dartmouth boy. You take that shirt off right now or I will take it off for you, sir. I am... totally and completely kidding! Andrew Bernard, Cornell '95.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21766

91. Oop, got some blisties.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21768

92. Hit about 1200 balls last night, in preparation for today, so hands are a little tender. It's actually not funny at all. It's incredibly painful.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21770

93. Giddy up, let's do this.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21783

94. People assume I'm great at golf. But like everybody, I hated golf lessons when I was a kid. So, I used to hang out at the sailing club instead. Got my 'knot' on.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21784

95. Dammit!

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21785

96. AH! Come on, Tuna!

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21848

97. All right, race to the next hole!

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21858

98. Shortcut! Shortcut! Woah! I fell in the sandtrap!

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21860

99. [trying to pick up a beer bottle with blistered hands, struggles trying to take a drink as everyone watches.]

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21884

100. Count me in!

     Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21890