Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 7)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 7 of 40

1. All right!

   Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21892

2. Right on.

   Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21897

3. Ow! Ow! Owooh!

   Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21978

4. Can I have your attention please? I was waiting for the right time to do this, and I can't think of a better time than right now, with the music playing, and all our friends around, and fireworks going off... My parents are here! Andrew and Ellen Bernard. Thank you for sharing in this joyous moment. Miss Angela Martin, will you please join me onstage? Okay, then I will come to you, my flower.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22456

5. Angela, will you do me the honor... of giving me your tiny hand in marriage?

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22458

6. Into the mic, sweetie.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22460

7. She said yes! And the crowd goes wild! Woo!

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22462

8. I've been carrying that ring around in my wallet for six years. Because you don't know when you're gonna meet the right girl and the moment's gonna be right. And tonight, with the fireworks, and the music, and everything... it was right.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22463

9. Tuna! I'm engaged!

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22467

10. Mr. Andrew Bernard... it's got a nice ring to it.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22469

11. It was down for a couple hours yesterday, then back up, and now I've heard from a very reliable source that it is once again out of commission. And that reliable source is you.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22557

12. Um, I do, 'cause I just told you.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22559

13. But I don't think it's a disaster. I think it's fun, and I like the food.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22592

14. Is that what that is?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22594

15. You know what, I didn't try those. I could try this. Augh! Fried Twinkies, you kidding me? Starting to wonder about the food in this place. Oh, God! That is so good.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22596

16. I'm excited to lose weight for the wedding, because I really want to have washboard abs the first time Angela sees me naked.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22627

17. I'm totally gonna slaughter at the weigh-in today.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22644

18. Really? 'Cause I haven't eaten anything since noon on Friday.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22646

19. Ang. Ela. Ella, ella, ella. Under my Angerela. Ella, ella, ella. Ay, ay--

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22690

20. Hey, check it out. This is The Breakers, Newport, Rhode Island. Huge, awesome gorgeous mansion overlooking the Atlantic. And my dad went to Cornell with the current groundskeeper.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22692

21. Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy-tale wedding.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22693

22. This is where my parents decided not to get divorced.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22695

23. OK. How do you feel about Maine? I'm on it. I'll see you later, love.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22697

24. Hey. So, since my little lady has such particular, impossible to perceive taste, I have made nonrefundable deposits at four totally different wedding locales: Hot-air balloons over Napa Valley, world-famous Walt Disney's Epcot Center, scuba-diving wedding in the Bahamas and the Wilkes-Barre Marriott Ballroom C.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22762

25. I don't know if there's any one place that has all these things.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22829

26. Thousand-year-old church in the continental United States. There has to be a rainbow. 24-hour veterinarian on call.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22831

27. Sweetheart. Just so you know, I don't care where we get married. I'll marry you right here in this building. I'll marry you in the parking lot. I'll marry you in the eye of a hurricane in the middle of a snowstorm on top of a monsoon. All I care about is that we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22833

28. Hey-oh!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22834

29. Why not, dawg?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22844

30. Damnit, I need these five days for my honeymoon! Who is slacking?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22897

31. NO! I want names!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22899

32. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. I haven't had a very hard life.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22900

33. Leave it to me, boss. I can get this whole office to make weight. It's gonna be a little toasty in here. Good old fashioned sweat lodge.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23050

34. Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them... or he quits them because they are unfair.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23051

35. Your wish is my command.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23060

36. Of course!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23062

37. Yeah! I mean it's a great song. I always thought it was bigger than Christmas anyway. You know?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23064

38. And you know what? The guys already know it so it's easy breezy.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23066

39. I didn't tell you.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23068

40. Here Comes Treble, class of '96 was available for our big day, so, I booked 'em.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23070

41. And, they are collectively my best man. And they are crashing with us for three weeks, so... it totally works out.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23072

42. Ok, I hear you, sweetheart, but this is a deal breaker. But you know what? You're gonna love these guys. Carl 1, Carl 2, Broccoli Rob, Spare Rib, Doobie, Lunch Box, Boner Champ, that's me, Pubie Lewis and the News, Hopscotch, Jingle Jangle, Sandwich. These are the best best-man a guy could ever hope for.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23074

43. Mm-wah!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23076

44. Wet Tuna!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23110

45. Yeah, totally. I'm sorry, Oscar. Yeah, I didn't realize it was bothering you.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23132

46. Cause it's kind of bothering all of us, 'cause it's really hot, you know, it's hot, so we can lose weight, so we don't screw up this whole contest for the entire freaking office, but if you want, I'll turn it down.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23134

47. A little close to my engagement there Tuna, what's your game here?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23200

48. Hey-oh!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23230

49. I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family? ... Boom!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23249

50. Yeah, I took intro to philosophy,

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23251

51. No that's... not how it works.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23253

52. Yo.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23328

53. No, I did not. Was that any good?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23330

54. Is that anything like the original Battlestar Galactica?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23334

55. Really? Huh, that's cool.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23336

56. Really? That doesn't sound right.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23338

57. No way, lady.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23385

58. Wait a second, how does the steak factor in again?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23399

59. Yes! Yeah. Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa!

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23465

60. Yo. I got the Nard-puppy for ya. What's going on here?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23541

61. Awww. Check it out - who would have thought that this little baby would be marrying that little baby?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23543

62. Well -

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23545

63. Why would that make me a pervert, I -

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23547

64. That's not you.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23549

65. That's mean, come on, that's -

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23551

66. So Jan, tell my intended about the miracle of childbirth.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23622

67. OK. Yeah. Look at my finger. Look. Looook!

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23668

68. Look up here!

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23670

69. What? Sorry.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23672

70. We're taking a picture.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23675

71. She's nature's bounty.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23677

72. That's for you. And, um, oh. I am right in assuming that Dwight is short for D-Money. 'Cause that's what I wrote on your save-the-date.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23797

73. J-Money. Or should it be T-Money, for Tuna? Receptionist Money. K-Money.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23799

74. You're always safe with me. I'm a very good screamer. And one day, we're going to move to Disney's Celebration Village in Florida and leave all of this behind.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23866

75. Yeah?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23868

76. Consider yourself... at home!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23870

77. 250

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23994

78. I need a hug, unless you're gonna give me one.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23996

79. Meow. Sweet 'stume, dude. Who are you supposed to be?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24084

80. Cool.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24086

81. We were looking for 'kitten.'

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24088

82. Ha ha ha. That's funny. Take that sweatshirt off! Hey buddy.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24116

83. Remember when I jokingly yelled at you to take your sweatshirt off? Totally joking. But, you should know, those colors are sacred. Not that I care. But if you're not a Cornell man, you probably shouldn't wear them.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24118

84. Come on, you think you can get into Cornell?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24120

85. Well he's had a pretty good season so far--- Stop saying 'we.' You did not go to Cornell. Okay, you're just doing this to screw with me.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24132

86. I know it's an excellent school, Dwight. I went there. My blood runs Big Red.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24134

87. Take that down.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24199

88. Take. That down.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24201

89. I seriously doubt that anyone from Cornell dated you.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24203

90. It's pronounced 'Corn-ell!' It's the highest rank in the Ivy League!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24205

91. Fine.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24207

92. Yeah, good. Can we--- Grr. Heh heh heh. That's Big Red Bear! That's a bobble Big Red Bear! God!!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24209

93. You might be interested-

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24247

94. Dwight!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24249

95. Hm. Assuming you had the voice to be in any of them, it's irrelevant. Because I called admissions and it looks like I, will be conducting your university interview.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24251

96. Yeah. Big one. So, should I not let you in now, or do you want to do the interview, and then I won't let you in?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24253

97. Excellent. When the hourglass strikes three, then in the room whence employees confer.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24255

98. The conference room!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24257

99. Who are your role models?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24259

100. If I had to put Dwight's chances into a percentage, I would say he has none percent chance.

     Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24260