Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 7)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 7 of 40

1. All right!

   Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21892

2. Right on.

   Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21897

3. Ow! Ow! Owooh!

   Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21978

4. Can I have your attention please? I was waiting for the right time to do this, and I can't think of a better time than right now, with the music playing, and all our friends around, and fireworks going off... My parents are here! Andrew and Ellen Bernard. Thank you for sharing in this joyous moment. Miss Angela Martin, will you please join me onstage? Okay, then I will come to you, my flower.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22456

5. Angela, will you do me the honor... of giving me your tiny hand in marriage?

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22458

6. Into the mic, sweetie.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22460

7. She said yes! And the crowd goes wild! Woo!

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22462

8. I've been carrying that ring around in my wallet for six years. Because you don't know when you're gonna meet the right girl and the moment's gonna be right. And tonight, with the fireworks, and the music, and everything... it was right.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22463

9. Tuna! I'm engaged!

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22467

10. Mr. Andrew Bernard... it's got a nice ring to it.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22469

11. It was down for a couple hours yesterday, then back up, and now I've heard from a very reliable source that it is once again out of commission. And that reliable source is you.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22557

12. Um, I do, 'cause I just told you.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22559

13. But I don't think it's a disaster. I think it's fun, and I like the food.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22592

14. Is that what that is?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22594

15. You know what, I didn't try those. I could try this. Augh! Fried Twinkies, you kidding me? Starting to wonder about the food in this place. Oh, God! That is so good.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22596

16. I'm excited to lose weight for the wedding, because I really want to have washboard abs the first time Angela sees me naked.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22627

17. I'm totally gonna slaughter at the weigh-in today.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22644

18. Really? 'Cause I haven't eaten anything since noon on Friday.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22646

19. Ang. Ela. Ella, ella, ella. Under my Angerela. Ella, ella, ella. Ay, ay--

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22690

20. Hey, check it out. This is The Breakers, Newport, Rhode Island. Huge, awesome gorgeous mansion overlooking the Atlantic. And my dad went to Cornell with the current groundskeeper.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22692

21. Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy-tale wedding.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22693

22. This is where my parents decided not to get divorced.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22695

23. OK. How do you feel about Maine? I'm on it. I'll see you later, love.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22697

24. Hey. So, since my little lady has such particular, impossible to perceive taste, I have made nonrefundable deposits at four totally different wedding locales: Hot-air balloons over Napa Valley, world-famous Walt Disney's Epcot Center, scuba-diving wedding in the Bahamas and the Wilkes-Barre Marriott Ballroom C.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22762

25. I don't know if there's any one place that has all these things.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22829

26. Thousand-year-old church in the continental United States. There has to be a rainbow. 24-hour veterinarian on call.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22831

27. Sweetheart. Just so you know, I don't care where we get married. I'll marry you right here in this building. I'll marry you in the parking lot. I'll marry you in the eye of a hurricane in the middle of a snowstorm on top of a monsoon. All I care about is that we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22833

28. Hey-oh!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22834

29. Why not, dawg?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22844

30. Damnit, I need these five days for my honeymoon! Who is slacking?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22897

31. NO! I want names!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22899

32. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. I haven't had a very hard life.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22900

33. Leave it to me, boss. I can get this whole office to make weight. It's gonna be a little toasty in here. Good old fashioned sweat lodge.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23050

34. Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them... or he quits them because they are unfair.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23051

35. Your wish is my command.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23060

36. Of course!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23062

37. Yeah! I mean it's a great song. I always thought it was bigger than Christmas anyway. You know?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23064

38. And you know what? The guys already know it so it's easy breezy.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23066

39. I didn't tell you.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23068

40. Here Comes Treble, class of '96 was available for our big day, so, I booked 'em.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23070

41. And, they are collectively my best man. And they are crashing with us for three weeks, so... it totally works out.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23072

42. Ok, I hear you, sweetheart, but this is a deal breaker. But you know what? You're gonna love these guys. Carl 1, Carl 2, Broccoli Rob, Spare Rib, Doobie, Lunch Box, Boner Champ, that's me, Pubie Lewis and the News, Hopscotch, Jingle Jangle, Sandwich. These are the best best-man a guy could ever hope for.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23074

43. Mm-wah!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23076

44. Wet Tuna!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23110

45. Yeah, totally. I'm sorry, Oscar. Yeah, I didn't realize it was bothering you.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23132

46. Cause it's kind of bothering all of us, 'cause it's really hot, you know, it's hot, so we can lose weight, so we don't screw up this whole contest for the entire freaking office, but if you want, I'll turn it down.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23134

47. A little close to my engagement there Tuna, what's your game here?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23200

48. Hey-oh!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23230

49. I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family? ... Boom!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23249

50. Yeah, I took intro to philosophy,

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23251

51. No that's... not how it works.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23253

52. Yo.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23328

53. No, I did not. Was that any good?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23330

54. Is that anything like the original Battlestar Galactica?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23334

55. Really? Huh, that's cool.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23336

56. Really? That doesn't sound right.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23338

57. No way, lady.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23385

58. Wait a second, how does the steak factor in again?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23399

59. Yes! Yeah. Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa!

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23465

60. Yo. I got the Nard-puppy for ya. What's going on here?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23541

61. Awww. Check it out - who would have thought that this little baby would be marrying that little baby?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23543

62. Well -

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23545

63. Why would that make me a pervert, I -

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23547

64. That's not you.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23549

65. That's mean, come on, that's -

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23551

66. So Jan, tell my intended about the miracle of childbirth.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23622

67. OK. Yeah. Look at my finger. Look. Looook!

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23668

68. Look up here!

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23670

69. What? Sorry.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23672

70. We're taking a picture.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23675

71. She's nature's bounty.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23677

72. That's for you. And, um, oh. I am right in assuming that Dwight is short for D-Money. 'Cause that's what I wrote on your save-the-date.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23797

73. J-Money. Or should it be T-Money, for Tuna? Receptionist Money. K-Money.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23799

74. You're always safe with me. I'm a very good screamer. And one day, we're going to move to Disney's Celebration Village in Florida and leave all of this behind.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23866

75. Yeah?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23868

76. Consider yourself... at home!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23870

77. 250

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23994

78. I need a hug, unless you're gonna give me one.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23996

79. Meow. Sweet 'stume, dude. Who are you supposed to be?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24084

80. Cool.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24086

81. We were looking for 'kitten.'

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24088

82. Ha ha ha. That's funny. Take that sweatshirt off! Hey buddy.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24116

83. Remember when I jokingly yelled at you to take your sweatshirt off? Totally joking. But, you should know, those colors are sacred. Not that I care. But if you're not a Cornell man, you probably shouldn't wear them.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24118

84. Come on, you think you can get into Cornell?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24120

85. Well he's had a pretty good season so far--- Stop saying 'we.' You did not go to Cornell. Okay, you're just doing this to screw with me.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24132

86. I know it's an excellent school, Dwight. I went there. My blood runs Big Red.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24134

87. Take that down.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24199

88. Take. That down.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24201

89. I seriously doubt that anyone from Cornell dated you.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24203

90. It's pronounced 'Corn-ell!' It's the highest rank in the Ivy League!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24205

91. Fine.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24207

92. Yeah, good. Can we--- Grr. Heh heh heh. That's Big Red Bear! That's a bobble Big Red Bear! God!!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24209

93. You might be interested-

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24247

94. Dwight!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24249

95. Hm. Assuming you had the voice to be in any of them, it's irrelevant. Because I called admissions and it looks like I, will be conducting your university interview.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24251

96. Yeah. Big one. So, should I not let you in now, or do you want to do the interview, and then I won't let you in?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24253

97. Excellent. When the hourglass strikes three, then in the room whence employees confer.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24255

98. The conference room!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24257

99. Who are your role models?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24259

100. If I had to put Dwight's chances into a percentage, I would say he has none percent chance.

     Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24260