Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.
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Ehh... well it's a very intriguing concept, isn't it? Um... hmmm..Michael is starting his own paper company. What do you think about that?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28627
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What is he doing? It looks like he's saying something.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28682
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The whole office feels darker, you know? It's just a sad dark day.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28687
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I know.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28689
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It is 1-3-4, Kev!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28753
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You are murdering the Nard-dog!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28757
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Hey-o!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28763
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My maid died.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28765
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How are operations of the company? Just, day-to day.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28783
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[laughing at something on his computer]
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28848
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Oh. Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed. You weren't supposed to see this. This is like my secret obsession.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28850
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No way!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28852
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I hate soccer. But guess who doesn't hate soccer? Charles Miner.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28854
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Ahhh. You bastard! That shoulda been me!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28856
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Cool!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28858
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Whoa! And he just goes, 'Boom'. Goal!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28871
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You know your soccer, man.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28873
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I mean, to be fair, I was the first one to talk about it, but...
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28879
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I'm in it to win.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 28902
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Get 'im, Jim! C'mon, tough D, Jim.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Quote 29013
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What do you think?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29077
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Thank you!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29079
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Oh, this is awkward.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29114
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Uh oh! Oh! Oh!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29116
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Um, nerthing?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29158
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Pffft.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29160
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The last thing I want to do, is step on your funk man.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29162
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No, that's ridiculous.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29164
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Look you've been here longer, and besides, I'm a better wingman than I am a boyfriend so-
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29166
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That was great, but it's just sort of, it's still a little choppy like. But don't worry, it's hard, it took me a while too. It's like
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29264
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What? Oh my God you heard that I'm so embarrassed. I'm like so rusty.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29266
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Really?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29268
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Literally every song is better a cappella. Name a song.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29297
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Better a cappella!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29299
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Yeah. Name another.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29301
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Better a cappella.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29303
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Aw!! Way better a cappella
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29305
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Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29307
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This is my solo.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29315
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Trust me. You will not be walking. You will be boogie-ing.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29317
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Well, 12 guys, airfare, three nights in a hotel, food per diem, table up front for merch... $9,000.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29319
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Did you even hear the music I just played for you?
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29321
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What was up with Pam being all pushy and negative in there?
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29346
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It scares me to see you going down a road that I went down.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29348
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When I see her bossing you around like that, it just makes me wonder if this thing really has the legs to go the distance.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29350
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I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29352
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Noishe.'
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29402
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That's interesting, because I hear what you're saying is that you want to do it, which means you can do it. Believe me, I broke up with Angela, and I'm like, the happiest guy ever. I mean, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Like, total freedom, you know?
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29404
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And you know what? I am here for you. Let me be your traveling pants. Ah, what'd you do that for?
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29406
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Totally.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29408
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Hey, Jim.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29434
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Bro, I do that all the time.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29436
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Tuna, be nice to my friend Jim, ok?
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29438
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Well, so what? Your body's a ten.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29440
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Jim.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29442
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Okay, okay.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29543
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Okay, Tuna.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29545
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Hello.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29548
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Excuse me, can I have your attention, everyone? Here's the deal, everybody, Jim Halpert is very upset and disturbed. I don't know if it was something you did, something you said, a look you gave him, maybe it was nothing at all, but here's the deal, ok? It stops now.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29549
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Oh, really?
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29552
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Yeah, okay, what the heck is happennin' here?
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29555
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Uh, that's not what was-
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29557
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Oh man, he got me so good. I learned something about myself today. Yeah. I wish this was a sofa, cause I feel like I could sit here and talk for hours.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29559
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Who is that knocking on my taste buds? Why, it's Mr. Lemon. Hmmm, nice to meet you.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29593
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Don't think of it as a cross in the Judeo-Christian sense, think of it more as a symbol of your lives crossing in marriage.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29595
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Yes!
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29597
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Hey, bud.
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29600
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Who?
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29602
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Are you sure?
Season 5 · Episode 22 · Quote 29604
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Hey, Boss. Uh, I'd just like to point out that I have been here less time than these guys.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29626
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I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29628
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I don't want to have said that. But I think it's important that you know it.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29630
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I call foul, sir.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29919
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Andrew Bernard.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29952
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What are you still doing not at your desk?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29954
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All my files are now in reverse alphabetical order--
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29956
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Oh, it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29958
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We could write a strong-worded letter.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29975
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I had a salmon salad. With water, no ice. I was going to get a soda, but the waiter talked me out of it. Her name was Flo, she had black hair.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30019
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Dijonnaise.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30028
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Me too.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30075
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That's completely backwards.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30081
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You don't understand clothing, Toby. You're dressed like this amorphous blob of khaki.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30156
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You're running from the problem.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30166
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Wittle Andy is afwaid.
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30284
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Yes.
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30286
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It's like a haunted disco.
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30299
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Everybody Dance Now', spins in chair] Oww!
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30333
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Yeah! I love the vibe down here.
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30403
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I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure I'm in a dance off. Alright!
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30408
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This dance competition is not over.
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30452
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Yeah. No. Well, ok.
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30469
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Well, stop trying to poke me with a sharp thing.
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30471
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I, I - but you're not a professional and I'm thinking maybe we should have gone to a professional.
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30473
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Are you sure that's not the 'gay' ear?
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30475
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Well, I...
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30477
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Count to twen - count to twenty.
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30479
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K
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30481
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Agh! Son of a bitch!
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30483
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It was?
Season 5 · Episode 25 · Quote 30485