Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 11)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 11 of 40

1. Ehh... well it's a very intriguing concept, isn't it? Um... hmmm..Michael is starting his own paper company. What do you think about that?

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2. What is he doing? It looks like he's saying something.

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3. The whole office feels darker, you know? It's just a sad dark day.

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4. I know.

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5. It is 1-3-4, Kev!

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6. You are murdering the Nard-dog!

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7. Hey-o!

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8. My maid died.

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9. How are operations of the company? Just, day-to day.

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10. [laughing at something on his computer]

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11. Oh. Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed. You weren't supposed to see this. This is like my secret obsession.

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12. No way!

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13. I hate soccer. But guess who doesn't hate soccer? Charles Miner.

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14. Ahhh. You bastard! That shoulda been me!

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15. Cool!

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16. Whoa! And he just goes, 'Boom'. Goal!

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17. You know your soccer, man.

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18. I mean, to be fair, I was the first one to talk about it, but...

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19. I'm in it to win.

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20. Get 'im, Jim! C'mon, tough D, Jim.

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21. What do you think?

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22. Thank you!

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23. Oh, this is awkward.

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24. Uh oh! Oh! Oh!

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25. Um, nerthing?

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26. Pffft.

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27. The last thing I want to do, is step on your funk man.

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28. No, that's ridiculous.

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29. Look you've been here longer, and besides, I'm a better wingman than I am a boyfriend so-

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30. That was great, but it's just sort of, it's still a little choppy like. But don't worry, it's hard, it took me a while too. It's like

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31. What? Oh my God you heard that I'm so embarrassed. I'm like so rusty.

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32. Really?

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33. Literally every song is better a cappella. Name a song.

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34. Better a cappella!

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35. Yeah. Name another.

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36. Better a cappella.

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37. Aw!! Way better a cappella

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38. Yeah.

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39. This is my solo.

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40. Trust me. You will not be walking. You will be boogie-ing.

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41. Well, 12 guys, airfare, three nights in a hotel, food per diem, table up front for merch... $9,000.

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42. Did you even hear the music I just played for you?

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43. What was up with Pam being all pushy and negative in there?

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44. It scares me to see you going down a road that I went down.

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45. When I see her bossing you around like that, it just makes me wonder if this thing really has the legs to go the distance.

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46. I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.

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47. Noishe.'

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48. That's interesting, because I hear what you're saying is that you want to do it, which means you can do it. Believe me, I broke up with Angela, and I'm like, the happiest guy ever. I mean, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Like, total freedom, you know?

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49. And you know what? I am here for you. Let me be your traveling pants. Ah, what'd you do that for?

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50. Totally.

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51. Hey, Jim.

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52. Bro, I do that all the time.

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53. Tuna, be nice to my friend Jim, ok?

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54. Well, so what? Your body's a ten.

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55. Jim.

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56. Okay, okay.

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57. Okay, Tuna.

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58. Hello.

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59. Excuse me, can I have your attention, everyone? Here's the deal, everybody, Jim Halpert is very upset and disturbed. I don't know if it was something you did, something you said, a look you gave him, maybe it was nothing at all, but here's the deal, ok? It stops now.

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60. Oh, really?

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61. Yeah, okay, what the heck is happennin' here?

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62. Uh, that's not what was-

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63. Oh man, he got me so good. I learned something about myself today. Yeah. I wish this was a sofa, cause I feel like I could sit here and talk for hours.

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64. Who is that knocking on my taste buds? Why, it's Mr. Lemon. Hmmm, nice to meet you.

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65. Don't think of it as a cross in the Judeo-Christian sense, think of it more as a symbol of your lives crossing in marriage.

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66. Yes!

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67. Hey, bud.

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68. Who?

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69. Are you sure?

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70. Hey, Boss. Uh, I'd just like to point out that I have been here less time than these guys.

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71. I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie.

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72. I don't want to have said that. But I think it's important that you know it.

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73. I call foul, sir.

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74. Andrew Bernard.

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75. What are you still doing not at your desk?

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76. All my files are now in reverse alphabetical order--

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77. Oh, it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn.

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78. We could write a strong-worded letter.

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79. I had a salmon salad. With water, no ice. I was going to get a soda, but the waiter talked me out of it. Her name was Flo, she had black hair.

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80. Dijonnaise.

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81. Me too.

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82. That's completely backwards.

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83. You don't understand clothing, Toby. You're dressed like this amorphous blob of khaki.

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84. You're running from the problem.

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85. Wittle Andy is afwaid.

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86. Yes.

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87. It's like a haunted disco.

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88. Everybody Dance Now', spins in chair] Oww!

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89. Yeah! I love the vibe down here.

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90. I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure I'm in a dance off. Alright!

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91. This dance competition is not over.

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92. Yeah. No. Well, ok.

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93. Well, stop trying to poke me with a sharp thing.

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94. I, I - but you're not a professional and I'm thinking maybe we should have gone to a professional.

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95. Are you sure that's not the 'gay' ear?

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96. Well, I...

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97. Count to twen - count to twenty.

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98. K

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99. Agh! Son of a bitch!

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100. It was?

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