Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 5)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 5 of 40

1. So, how's the view old girl? Oh! There's a cemetery. You think that's affiliated with the hospital, or is it a like a separate feature...

   Season 4 · Episode 1 · Quote 17487

2. Tuna!

   Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17555

3. Jim Halpert's off the market. Guess who just became the best looking single guy in the office?

   Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17569

4. Fire guy

   Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17620

5. Here for what?

   Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17622

6. We should call it Dunder Mifflinfinity. You know, push the words together?

   Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17649

7. Mmhmm, sweet, chocolate turtles.

   Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17836

8. I'll go with you Stanley.

   Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17880

9. What about cash? With cash you can buy anything you want, including a gift basket, so... it's kind of the best gift ever.

   Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17890

10. Yes! Cash basket! Nice work Tuna.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17892

11. Dude, you are so money, but you don't even know it, but you do.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17918

12. Later man.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17921

13. Ha! Tuna... Tuna Tuna Tuna.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17926

14. He has a killer job, he's rich, he smells like what I think Pierce Brosnan probably smells like, he wears really cool rich guy clothes.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17928

15. So, sorry Tuna but if you don't know why that's awesome... then... you need awesome lessons.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Quote 17930

16. Dah! Come on!

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18151

17. And this is where I will record your sales.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18207

18. And then I will say something positive, like kudos or job well done.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18209

19. I can't tell if he's mocking me.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18211

20. Ehh, can't do that. Really hard for me to let things go.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18213

21. Thank you.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18215

22. Yes like a chime or a bell...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18217

23. Yes!

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18220

24. Twenty seconds to go time.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18235

25. Okay. We start. As soon as I make... this shot. Aaannnddd go!

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18239

26. Yeah!

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18246

27. Website check please.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18287

28. Three-oh-five. You my friend are winning handsomely.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18289

29. You my friend are in a very close second.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18291

30. Okay, uh why don't you just lay off, lady?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18293

31. No !

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18354

32. Four! Three! Two! One!

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18392

33. Woo!

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18394

34. After numerous projections that the computer would crush all salesmen in it's path, I am very happy to report that our very own Dwight Schrute has crushed his electronic nemesis, if you will, by a whopping fifty-two reams.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18396

35. Fifty-two reams!

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18398

36. Dwight has defeated the computer.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18400

37. He beat the computer.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18418

38. What do you think of Angela?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18444

39. No, not like that, as a woman. W-O-M-A-N.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18446

40. You hadn't noticed she's a woman?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18448

41. I hear she's single and ready to mingle. I'm thinking about making a play for her. What do you think? Crazy, right?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18450

42. Isn't that part of the fun?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18452

43. She works here too, how is that any different?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18454

44. Okay.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18456

45. Are you looking for dinner and a movie? Because you're not going to find it in that box.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18479

46. Just so happens that I know where you can find it, but again, not in the box.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18480

47. Angela, are you hearing words that I'm saying?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18481

48. Hello.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18483

49. They say you should never mix business with pleasure. Really? Well then, explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18485

50. Here you are my dear, one thing made of ice.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18568

51. Yes I will.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18572

52. Excuse me.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18574

53. I stole it!

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18575

54. You said your upper back itched.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18601

55. Look Angela, I know this is weird because we work together, and up until and possibly now I've repulsed you, but I like you.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18603

56. So, Angela is stubborn as a mule, she's giving off fairly strong vibes that she's not interested.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18605

57. But do I like her or not, because if I like her, then I can't back down.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18607

58. Hello, hey hang on a second. Hello, hang on.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18641

59. If you change your mind, I'll be first in line. Honey, I'm still free, take a chance on me. If you need me let me know, gonna be around. If you got no place to go, if you're feeling down. If your all alone when the pretty birds have flown, honey I'm still free, take a chance on me. Gonna do my very best, and that ain't no lie, if you put me to the test, if you let me try. Take a chance on me, that's all I ask of you Angela. Take a chance on me.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18642

60. I don't know yet, I have to call you back.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18645

61. I'll call you back.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18647

62. What do you think of Angela? There's just something about her. All that strength and steeliness and righteousness all wrapped up tight and shoved into a tiny little delicate frame.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18699

63. No. I will not be playing it 'cool' with Angela. Let me tell you a little story. When I was seventeen, I was waitlisted at my number one school. Even though I was a legacy, and I had like a thousand extra-curriculars, mostly drama, madrigals, barbershop club, I was waitlisted. Did I wait, on that list? No, I did not. I busted into the admissions office and I sang them all the reasons they should admit me to the school. And guess what? I. Got. In. And here's the kicker. That school? Cornell.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Quote 18700

64. No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18994

65. So.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19023

66. Me. All night. Dreaming about Angela's smoking hot body.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19025

67. Not from a male perspective. You need to set me up with her, I know she told you that she's looking, and she's totally not responding to my moves.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19027

68. I have moon-walked past accounting like ten times.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19029

69. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19031

70. Really? Well, maybe you should look in the smart part of your brain.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19033

71. Okay, well I come from a line Wasps so long it leads back to Moses.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19035

72. Yeah, and I punched a hole in a wall.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19037

73. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19039

74. I left a little present for Angela. I think she's going to like it, because I found it outside of Vance Refrigeration all alone, and I told her in the note that the cat came to find her, that they were destined to be together. I got game.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19108

75. Gentlemen, a word. Look, you guys are my closest friends in this office.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19241

76. And as such, I come to you...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19243

77. I am dying of lovesickness and horny-sickness.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19245

78. I'm talking about Angela, okay? Did you hear what she was saying to Pam the other day?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19247

79. No can do. I am itching all over with Angela-pox.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19249

80. Hey, fellas! And... lady.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19253

81. That's not why I came over. I mean it's a week late, but... I just came over to say hi.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19255

82. Angela, you like lacrosse?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19258

83. Scranton U. Varsity's gonna scrimmage the J.V. squad. Should be pretty interesting. J.V. gets really amped.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19260

84. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19262

85. You wanna go?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19264

86. Because we could get some food...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19266

87. Afterwards at the...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19268

88. Still waiting on that check.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19270

89. Best ad ever. Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that... I am totally blanking. What is the thing?

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19305

90. What? No, why?

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19307

91. Break me off a piece of that... huh huh huh... br- applesauce.

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19309

92. Break me off a piece of that Chrysler car.

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19311

93. Football cream. Grr!

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19313

94. Hoo hoo hoo-hoo!

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19329

95. It's true, I give a mean backrub. I also do good aromatherapy. Not! You just got 'Nard dogged!

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19331

96. I need some advice. I've been spending a lot of time making out with Angela lately. But we've been necking, but only necking. Right? Not actually kissing, our mouths, just the neck on neck. It's just like rubbing slash nuzzling our necks together. It's hot, I'm not going to lie to you , but it's a little weird, but you seem like a guy with answers, so how do I fast track this to get to first base?

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19357

97. We'll use code names.

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19359

98. That's not different enough.

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19361

99. Does anyone actually know what Sue Grafton looks like? I mean, is she hot or-?

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19404

100. Well then maybe we should just use Angela and say she's Sue Grafton. Would anyone notice?

     Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19406