Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 3)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 3 of 40

1. Addition by subtraction.

   Season 3 · Episode 13 · Line 13384

2. Mmmm. Yeah you're right.

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3. Hey, boss.

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4. Noooothin'. Ehrrrrrrrrr. Heh. Man. TGI-Wednesday. Am I right?

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5. Gonna go home. Get my beer on. Get my 'Lost' on. What are you doing later, wanna hang out?

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6. Well, I will take that as a maybe. Where are you going?

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7. Oh, well, I'm going to the kitchen, I'll walk with you.

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8. Yeah, things are going pretty good. Gettin' a lot of face time with the boss.

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9. Feel ya, dawg.

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10. Absolutely.

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11. You said...

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12. Which is like, 'Right on.' And Pam was like 'blah blah blah' and you were like 'Yeah, psht.' Nailed it.

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13. Oh, no.

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14. I think I could go for some tuna fish right about now. Oh, oh, got my rod here. Whizzzzz. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Cli -- ah! I got one! I got one! Ahhhh!

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Line 13440

15. 185 pounder. Check it out. Whew!

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16. In your he-ead, in your he-eyd-ed. Zombie. Zombie. Zombie. Ey, ey, ey, ey. In your he-eyd-ed.

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17. Oh. Good move, Tuna. Nice one.

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18. Large Tuna. Have you seen my cell phone device?

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19. Cause someone is calling right now. There is a call.

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20. What's going on?

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21. Where is my FREAKING phone?!

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22. Maybe you're in the ceiling!

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23. I don't trust you, Phyllis!

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24. Wait up. Where are you going? Do you want me to come with?

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25. Just listen, I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bars, beers, buzzed. Wings. Shots. Drunk. Waitresses, hot. Football - Cornell/Hofstra. Slaughter. Then a quick nap at my place and we'll hit the tiz-own.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Line 13508

26. Duh. Which is why I was just joking about doing that.

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27. Fine. I'll just sit at my desk and be quiet. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. Excuse me. And I'm also sorry that a lot of people here for some reason think it's funny to steal someone's personal property and hide it from them. Here's a little newsflash! It's not funny! In fact, it's pretty freakin' unfunny! Oh, my GOD. That... was an overreaction. Gonna hit the break room. Does anybody want anything? Pam, you good?

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28. Sure? Okay.

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29. So Michael had a little chat with corporate and they decided to send me to management training. Anger management, technically, but still. Management material. This whole thing supposed to take ten weeks, but I can be done in five. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and positive reinforcement through nods and smiles. So, don't worry about old Andy Bernard. I'll be back. Just like Rambo, so.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Line 13561

30. Oh, hi! Yes. I am and you must be... Marcy!

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Line 13563

31. It's so good to meet you!

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32. Yeah.

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33. I graduated from anger management the same way I graduated from Cornell. On time. Now I'm back. Got a second chance, and I'm not gonna blow it. So look out Dunder Mifflin! I mean, look out... in a fun way! You know, not like, I'm gonna hurt you...

    Season 3 · Episode 18 · Line 14951

34. Hey guys! Guess who's back! AHHH! OH, GOD!

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35. Good morning, Pam.

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36. Drew. I'm Drew now.

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37. Apology not... accepted. Because it wasn't even necessary in the first place.

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38. Several weeks ago, Andy Bernard had an incident. But after five weeks in Anger Management, I'm back. And I've got a new attitude. And a new name. And... a bunch of new techniques for dealing with the grumpies.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14961

39. Mornin' Jim.

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40. Good. Drew.

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41. Dr--- You can call me Drew.

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42. Cool. I can't control what you do. I can only control what

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43. Drew. Dwight. How's it goin' man?

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44. You guys...

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45. It's on!

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46. Thank you.

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47. Anything.

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48. You mean a moon bounce.

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49. I'm gonna need... I'm gonna need petty cash.

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50. Do you, do you want a drawbridge?

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51. Whoa! What's the situation?

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52. Ok, when's the shunning thing gonna end?

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53. When people think of Andy, they think of hate and anger. When people think of Drew, they think of baked goods.

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54. Oh no, nobody likes my cookies. I'm so angry, argh I want to hit something. Totally kidin' guys.

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55. Little device I learned to diffuse tension, be the first to make fun of yourself, because if they make fun of you before you do... Then you might lose your mind.

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56. Ahhh... Is that the last of it?

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57. It's OK. I can't always have what I want, but I can always want what I have.

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58. Is it fresh?

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59. Umm... No.

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60. People don't need to be afraid of me. I can't achieve anger any more, and I have a new car. Toyota Prius, because Andy didn't care about fuel efficiency, but Drew has seen 'An Inconvenient Truth'. Nearly twice.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15260

61. You know guys, I recently learned some pretty cool stuff about the difference between feeling something and... acting on that thing.

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62. Yes bosses.

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63. Michael, go ahead, we're listening.

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64. Let me borrow that chief. Michael, you don't have to prove anything to anyone but yourself. So don't jump just to prove anything to us. OK? That said, if you need to prove something to yourself, you should jump.

    Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15329

65. Up to you.

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66. If you do jump, I want you to reach for the sky.

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67. Grab a comet and kiss the moon! Kiss it!

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68. Goodnight Stanley.

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69. William Dolittle at your service. A.K.A., Will Do.

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70. Beer me!

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71. Hand me that water. I always say 'Beer me.' Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time. So how's what's-her-name?

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72. Who, Karen? Yeah, she's only one of my oldest friends. Mmm. How's the apartment hangin'?

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15411

73. Nice. Check out this sunshine, man. Global warming, right? Today was supposed to be really cold, I bet.

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74. Uh, yeah. Should have said so. Rha-dah-dah-dah! Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul. I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away-he-hay. Ruu-da-doo-da-doo, ba-dit-da-doo-da-dun, Give me the beat, boys, and free my little-ole-soul, I wa--

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15415

75. Your call, dude. My girlfriend made an awesome mix. Beer me that disc.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15417

76. So, Tuna. When we get in there, let's do a really good job, okay?

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15419

77. Well not everything a guy says needs to be said. Sometimes it's just about the music of the conversation.

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15421

78. Whoa! What the--- Why is my girlfriend here?

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79. No, she's a part-time frozen yogurt chef.

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80. The one in the green hoodie.

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81. I wonder if she's, like, a... a guidance counselor, or something?

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82. She's like, probably a tutor.

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83. She probably a t--

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84. Sh---

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85. Jamie!

    Season 3 · Episode 20 · Line 15451

86. What are you doing here?

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87. Are you a student here?

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88. You never told me you were in high-school!

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89. OH MY GOD!

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90. I had no idea.

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91. Huh... We didn't do anything illegal. Except knock over a mailbox with her friends.

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92. Who was that guy she was talking to? At her locker.

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93. But who

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94. Pfft. You don't teach it well enough. One of your students is a

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95. I want to take out an ad, in your yearbook. A full page, two words---

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96. That's not what I had in mind.

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97. I don't care.

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98. Yeah.

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99. You know what--- I don't---

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100. Oooo-oo-oooo-ooo-oo-oooo-oo-ooo-ooo a-wi-imbube!

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