Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 2)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

Catchphrases: Big Tuna · Nard Dog

3,969 quotes · page 2 of 40

1. Hey Kevin.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11999

2. Have you lost weight?

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12001

3. I know, but you just give off the vide of a guy who's getting thinner.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12003

4. You're welcome.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12005

5. I'll do it.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12009

6. King of hearts.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12011

7. That was fantastic.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12014

8. It is inspiring to me to watch you navigate these murky waters.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12024

9. I am so horny.

   Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12090

10. Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12092

11. Oh, and I care why?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12094

12. Next. How about.... Blondes are more fun. C'mon, trust me on that.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12096

13. Okay fine. Um. Pam, the receptionist. Paaam. Should I go for it?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12098

14. Jackpot.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12100

15. All... righty, let's get started. What is she into?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12107

16. Are you kidding?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12110

17. I started the main Frisbee golf club at Cornell. Where I went to college. I live to frolf.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12112

18. Pam-a-lama-ding-dong. Listen, you're cute. There is no gettin' around it. So... I don't know if you like country music, but I was thinking maybe one of these days we could drive out to a field, crank up some tunes, smoke a few Macanudos... maybe even toss a disk around. Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12155

19. Shh. Think about it. I'll hit you back.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12157

20. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12173

21. I play the banjo.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12175

22. You know I can, my man.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12177

23. I'm gonna go get my banjo out of my car.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12181

24. Wow. Prison sounds horrible.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12204

25. So we've been told, and some choose to believe it, I know they're wrong, wait and see, 'cause one day we'll find it, the ainbowray onnectionkay, the lovers, the dreamers, and meeee...

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12226

26. Yo, Michael, sweet ride Mike.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12272

27. Michael

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12292

28. If I may say. She's even prettier that you described her.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12294

29. Hey, what's the haps?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12385

30. Umm... I'm number three.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12431

31. Yeah, but I'm number three.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12433

32. Hey. I can't concentrate when I know you're in pain, man. Let me take you to lunch. C'mon, my treat.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12443

33. That's my boy. I know the perfect place, too.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12445

34. No. Benihana. Much classier. But don't worry, the babes are totally hot, too.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12447

35. So she looks really hot, so I said, 'You look hotter than usual today.' Thank you. Michael Head of the table.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12458

36. So she looks at me right, and she goes, 'I'm sorry, don't I even know you?' After a year, a

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12461

37. No.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12474

38. Put that away. Put that away. S.O.S. We... I... May day. Haha. Man down over here, we need your help.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12477

39. I think we'll start with a round of noga-sakes.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12479

40. One part eggnog, three parts sake. Some places won't make it for you though, because eggnog is seasonal.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12480

41. Wait for the onion. Trust me. Hey Cindy, he just had his heart broken, you wouldn't do that to him, would you?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12507

42. You made her laugh. Yes! She totally digs us. Watch, watch, watch, watch. Heh, heh? What did I tell 'ya?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12510

43. This drink...

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12516

44. Cindy, Cindy.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12543

45. I want you to close your eyes and imagine your dream house. C'mon, do it for Michael. He's had a really long day.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12545

46. This is great.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12547

47. Now open your eyes and describe it to me.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12552

48. They have been checking us out, all night! I am not kidding!

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12582

49. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12584

50. Now, you are thinking. Yes. And you know what? Because you have had such a rough day, you get Cindy.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12586

51. My new girlfriend.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12596

52. Your hands.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12638

53. I'll use my hands on it.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Quote 12640

54. I am now chopping off Phyllis' head with a chainsaw! ... Rin-in-in-in-in-in!

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12795

55. Boring. Call me if she rolls over.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12870

56. Ole ole - ole ole... Ole ole - ole ole. People in the party - hot hot hot

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12940

57. I give thanks, mon.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13005

58. Hey Dwight, I bet I can stack faster than you can.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13070

59. Oh, yeah? Prove it, champ. You ready?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13072

60. One, two, three, go!

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13074

61. Get out of my way, Jim!

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13076

62. Dang it.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13080

63. Those aren't straight. Totally crooked. Totally crooked. You're disqualified.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13082

64. Five of us transferred from Stamford. There are two of us left. Me and Karen. It's like we are touring Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and dropping off one by one. Well, guess what? I am not falling in a chocolate river.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13129

65. Hey Dwight, pass the tardy sauce. Get it Michael?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13134

66. Hmmm, well... let me think about this for a minute. Oh, I don't know. Michael Scott.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13136

67. Ph. D. Doctor of Sales.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13138

68. Well, it is very gracious of you to accept.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13140

69. Sebring by Chrysler. Heck of a... motor... carriage.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13153

70. He does your laundry?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13159

71. Bueno.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13170

72. In order to take down Dwight, I have to chip away at his ally, which, in this case, is Michael. Here's the good news. Every success I've ever had at my job or with the lady-folk has come from my ability to slowly and painfully wear someone down.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13176

73. What's the deal with Dwight doing your laundry?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13177

74. Wow, that is a long story, but quite well told, Michael. I find it very interesting. Especially about the part Dwight going behind your back and basically, like, being a terrible person. You know if you want your laundry done right? I used to work at Abercrombie. So, pretty good folder.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13179

75. I think you have assembled an amazing team at Scranton. It's really a pleasure to be a part of it. It's like, everyone has their own special skill, you know, just like the Superfriends. Except for Dwight, who is more like a SuperDud. I mean, he would be a Superfriend if there was a Superfriend whose super power was always being late. You know?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13194

76. My plan is taking longer than I thought but I don't give up easily. I have walked two marathons.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13196

77. Caught an eighty-pound shark off of Montauk. It's in the Hamptons. My dad's got a 42-ft Bayliner. Sniped it with a rifle from the crow's nest. Also shot a deer once.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13209

78. Ok, this is the classic undersell because you should know we don't work out of a log cabin. We trade on the New York Stock Exchange. Ever heard of it? It's in New York.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13211

79. Oh, man, that is, like, poetry.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13214

80. I swear, this guy could sell paper to a tree.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13216

81. Ow.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13218

82. Oh man. Talk about your classic 'Lame dash O.' Do we even want that guy buying our paper?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13220

83. I... I'm so sorry man. I really screwed that up.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13222

84. I really 'Schruted' it.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13224

85. Schruted' it. It's just this thing that people say around your office all the time. Like, when you screw something up in a really irreversible way, you 'Schruted' it. I don't know where it comes from though. Do you think it comes from Dwight Schrute?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13226

86. Hey boss. Got a minute?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13289

87. I forget, why did Dwight say he was late this morning?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13291

88. That's weird. Because I was just walking past his desk and I saw this, which is a tollbooth receipt from New York City, stamped really early this morning. So, why would Dwight go to New York without telling anyone? Do you think he went to see Jan? That's not like him. Is it? Someone told me a story about this, with, like, laundry and betrayal. Did you betray Dwight and try to steal his job or something?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13293

89. Oh, doggie.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13303

90. It sure seems like he is lying.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13332

91. Oompa-Loompa Doompity-Dawesome, Dwight is now gone which is totally awesome. Why was he gone, he was such a nice guy? No, he was not. He was a total douche. Doompity-doomp.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13352

92. Um, am I happy the way things turned out? Oh, well, happy's such an ugly word. But, um, I saw what needed to be done and I did it and now I'm thrilled. So, it's pretty... Hello? Pretty good.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13360

93. Big Turkey.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13367

94. All four parts. Recorded it on my computer. It took me forever.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13369

95. Thank you muchly.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13371

96. I called it myself. I just thought you'd get a kick out of the new ring.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13373

97. Side note. I'd just like to say I'm thrilled to be working directly beneath you.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13375

98. I feel I have a lot to learn from you, even though you're younger and have less experience. So here's to the future... Andy and the Tuna. Andy and the tuna...

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13377

99. The cost of doing business.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13380

100. Was the top salesman...

     Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13382