Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 27)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 27 of 40

1. Maybe we could switch instruments.

   Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47784

2. Cause, uh, my body's starting to get bruised.

   Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47786

3. We had to leave because of creative differences.

   Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47788

4. Well-

   Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47792

5. Rudit-do-do-do-di-do.

   Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47829

6. Hey! All right, obviously we all want to die but we have to get through this. So, Gabe go ahead. It's okay.

   Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47832

7. Hey guys, uh, can't keep saying you're going into labor. Everyone knows you're full of it.

   Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47845

8. Never cry wolf.

   Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47850

9. What?! They took another client from us? Okay, bye. Man! Business is war! Customers, clients- it's like a war out there.

   Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47865

10. I am a leader. But you can only inspire people so much in a place like this. So today I'm turning the inspire-factor up to ten with a little help from my friend America's bloodiest battle.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47866

11. Why even read business books? We should be studying war. Going to places like Gettysburg. Where is that?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47867

12. Well we should take a fieldtrip there. I mean, that would be so cool. I wonder if that bus downstairs is-

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47869

13. That sounds super inspiring! I'm in!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47871

14. Charge!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47876

15. Yeah, well, the bus has free wifi and I made special low-sugar lunches for everyone. And is anyone kosher or halal?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47878

16. Dates, tabbouleh, and a bagel with cream cheese.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47880

17. You know, it's the same as the kosher option. There's a lesson in there. I mean, I can't force you to go. You're not my slaves. Thanks to Gettysburg. But... who's coming with me?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47882

18. Anyone who's not going, you're dead to me. You're uninvited. I don't want you to come. But, FYI, there will be leftover turkey and pesto sammies in the fridge.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47886

19. One for you.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47888

20. And one for you.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47890

21. And- oh. You missed your head. There you go. Phyllis, think fast!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47892

22. All right, guys, a little foreplay before we do it. Fans of Ken Burns' Jazz will most certainly enjoy Civil War.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47893

23. It's just not appropri- I mean, if we were going to visit Bradley Cooper's birthplace, I'd be the first one suggesting it. I'd be rooting for it.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47896

24. All right, all right, all right.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47898

25. You guys...

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47912

26. Get excited!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47914

27. All right! We're here. Limitless can wait.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47916

28. Woo-hoo! Ladies and gentlemen the eighteen hundreds await you. We can watch Limitless on the way back.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47918

29. Woo!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47921

30. Whoa, where you going?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47922

31. Yeah, we're not going to the visitor center. We're not tourists.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47924

32. Unless you're going on the very specially-created and meticulously-researched Andy Bernard tour.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47927

33. After Chancellorsville, Lee brought his army up the Shenandoah Valley, right through here! They stopped in this field for a picnic, which they called lunch.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47928

34. We don't need to bother this poor gentleman. I know exactly where we're going. Giddy up! Tallyho!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47978

35. Let's talk about food for a second. Food for thought.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48003

36. Hunger! Hunger for victory! Hunger for honor. Hunger for pride.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48005

37. Exactly. Now do you know the Civil War soldiers were hungry for? Pride! Now, each battalion had its own flag and they guarded these flags with their lives. Colonel Harrison Jeffords of the Fourth Michigan Infantry saw his flag being carried away, chased it down with nothing but a sword. Fought tooth and nail at the foot of that flag until he died. He wasn't about to let them have that flag. Pride. Right, guys? I commissioned this flag for Dunder Mifflin. Cost me two hundred dollars.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48009

38. We are all branches on this tree. And from the tree comes paper. We're all part of a business. But business is war. What's that I hear? Uh, a rebel paper company is coming to take our flag! Wha- what's going on here? Wee-hoo! Come and get it! Who's gonna get the flag? Who's getting it? Whoa! Hey! Ho! Don't look where I am, look where I'm going. Juke right, juke left.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48011

39. Get the flag! Get the flag! Come on, Big Tuna. What you gonna do about it? We got a flag right here. Wee-hoo!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48013

40. Spangler Springs is a mile this way.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48014

41. Its' I mean come on.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48016

42. Alright fine. You know what ' I guess this place just hasn't rubbed off on you the way I hoped it would. I'm still going. And I'm not going to ask anymore. I'm not even going to look back. I'm just going to assume that you're with me.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48018

43. Dammit.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48051

44. You guys came. Where's everyone else?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48053

45. Yeah I asked the bus driver to lock it because our stuff was in there. I guess he follows orders.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48055

46. Even without an audience you're still at it.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48057

47. Our office has a disease. And it goes by many names. Sarcasm. Snark. Wisecracks. You take things people care about and you make them feel lame about it with your jokes. That's what you did with this trip.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48059

48. You don't like the hats?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48061

49. They just didn't turn out how I wanted. In my head they were cooler, but they do look weird.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48064

50. The world will little note, nor long remember the fight Jim and I had here at Gettysburg and that's good because I was basically wrong. I wanted my team to be, like, this army and I was their general. But I guess it's really more like they're just people who work in an office and I'm their manager. Yeah that's really probably a better analogy now that I think about it.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48065

51. Charge!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48072

52. It's kind of a haul, so we should probably get going. And tuna, I made a special sandwich for you, guess which kind.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48075

53. Yes! Tuna of the land. Turkey. With pesto.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48077

54. Water.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48079

55. Getting everyone on the bus, check. Giving everyone hats, check. Sexiest eastern European girls, uh, check.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48082

56. Please! Everyone and their mother goes to Devil's Den. It's the Olive Garden of Gettysburg.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48084

57. Well, I meant that in a bad way. Obviously it tastes good, but it's not cool.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48086

58. That is what I'm showing you.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48088

59. Everybody beat it. Don't beat it, stay where you are.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48102

60. What did you say?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48104

61. What would you say?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48106

62. That is exactly the right thing to say! Do it! Git-er-done! Phyllis, you just married Joe Order, you're new name is Phyllis Order, get it?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48108

63. Jim, in regards to our high-five scheduled for four PM today, it has been moved up to now. Yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48110

64. Andrew' Baines' Bernard.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48141

65. Andrew Baines Bernard. I love filling these out. Because it's like taking a test, but I know the answers.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48143

66. What was that?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48145

67. Hey there. It's a pleasure.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48152

68. I would love to. But I have to be completely honest with you guys. We're 100 percent staffed up.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48154

69. Alright.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48156

70. Alright! The DM Express is pulling out.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48166

71. We will start here at Erinville.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48171

72. Reception. Your classic one-man operation.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48174

73. I was watching a movie and a bunch of apes took over San Francisco. Just saying.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48176

74. I'll explore exploring it.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48178

75. Ok uh next stop on the tour sales. Here we go. Station stop Jim Halpert. Oh boy our resident truth teller. Alright have at it. Let 'er rip. What do you hate about this place?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48180

76. Jim?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48183

77. You know if you joined our sales department you would be working very closely with our department head Mr. Dwight Schrute.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48188

78. Dwight why don't you tell Susan about some of your hobbies. Survival skills. Ranking of animals.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48190

79. Oh how am I supposed to pull this off?. The entire office is being nice to her than they've ever been to me. What I wouldn't give for one of Phyllis' classic room clearing farts right now.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48193

80. But we already have a surplus of accountants as it is.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48201

81. Those are fully staffed as well.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48203

82. Yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48205

83. Let me beat around the bush for a second. Our chairman of the board has some very strong feelings about-

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48207

84. There are lots of considerations.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48210

85. Alright. Well then welcome aboard.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48212

86. We get you over to HR and then we get you set up with accounting. Hang on. Hello?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48214

87. Hi gam-gam.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48216

88. Are you taking your med-meds?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48218

89. We promised we'd never say goodbye.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48221

90. Hey, uh, guys. So Robert doesn't want his wife working here. So now that she is, we have to drive her away.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48235

91. I am not asking, I am ordering.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48240

92. It would be great if she were gone by lunch. Erin, you're up. Find her a place to work, but not too comfortable.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48242

93. What is going on?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48266

94. Okey-dokey, artichokey. You hate it, don't you?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48268

95. Why would you say that?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48270

96. It's not that, exactly.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48272

97. Let's just say that if you don't want to work here, I am totally prepared to respect that.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48274

98. I don't know.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48276

99. Yes! The dude is an enigma.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48278

100. Ah...

     Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48280