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Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 27)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 27 of 40

  1. Maybe we could switch instruments.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47784

  2. Cause, uh, my body's starting to get bruised.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47786

  3. We had to leave because of creative differences.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47788

  4. Well-

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47792

  5. Rudit-do-do-do-di-do.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47829

  6. Hey! All right, obviously we all want to die but we have to get through this. So, Gabe go ahead. It's okay.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47832

  7. Hey guys, uh, can't keep saying you're going into labor. Everyone knows you're full of it.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47845

  8. Never cry wolf.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47850

  9. What?! They took another client from us? Okay, bye. Man! Business is war! Customers, clients- it's like a war out there.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47865

  10. I am a leader. But you can only inspire people so much in a place like this. So today I'm turning the inspire-factor up to ten with a little help from my friend America's bloodiest battle.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47866

  11. Why even read business books? We should be studying war. Going to places like Gettysburg. Where is that?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47867

  12. Well we should take a fieldtrip there. I mean, that would be so cool. I wonder if that bus downstairs is-

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47869

  13. That sounds super inspiring! I'm in!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47871

  14. Charge!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47876

  15. Yeah, well, the bus has free wifi and I made special low-sugar lunches for everyone. And is anyone kosher or halal?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47878

  16. Dates, tabbouleh, and a bagel with cream cheese.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47880

  17. You know, it's the same as the kosher option. There's a lesson in there. I mean, I can't force you to go. You're not my slaves. Thanks to Gettysburg. But... who's coming with me?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47882

  18. Anyone who's not going, you're dead to me. You're uninvited. I don't want you to come. But, FYI, there will be leftover turkey and pesto sammies in the fridge.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47886

  19. One for you.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47888

  20. And one for you.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47890

  21. And- oh. You missed your head. There you go. Phyllis, think fast!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47892

  22. All right, guys, a little foreplay before we do it. Fans of Ken Burns' Jazz will most certainly enjoy Civil War.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47893

  23. It's just not appropri- I mean, if we were going to visit Bradley Cooper's birthplace, I'd be the first one suggesting it. I'd be rooting for it.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47896

  24. All right, all right, all right.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47898

  25. You guys...

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47912

  26. Get excited!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47914

  27. All right! We're here. Limitless can wait.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47916

  28. Woo-hoo! Ladies and gentlemen the eighteen hundreds await you. We can watch Limitless on the way back.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47918

  29. Woo!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47921

  30. Whoa, where you going?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47922

  31. Yeah, we're not going to the visitor center. We're not tourists.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47924

  32. Unless you're going on the very specially-created and meticulously-researched Andy Bernard tour.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47927

  33. After Chancellorsville, Lee brought his army up the Shenandoah Valley, right through here! They stopped in this field for a picnic, which they called lunch.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47928

  34. We don't need to bother this poor gentleman. I know exactly where we're going. Giddy up! Tallyho!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47978

  35. Let's talk about food for a second. Food for thought.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48003

  36. Hunger! Hunger for victory! Hunger for honor. Hunger for pride.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48005

  37. Exactly. Now do you know the Civil War soldiers were hungry for? Pride! Now, each battalion had its own flag and they guarded these flags with their lives. Colonel Harrison Jeffords of the Fourth Michigan Infantry saw his flag being carried away, chased it down with nothing but a sword. Fought tooth and nail at the foot of that flag until he died. He wasn't about to let them have that flag. Pride. Right, guys? I commissioned this flag for Dunder Mifflin. Cost me two hundred dollars.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48009

  38. We are all branches on this tree. And from the tree comes paper. We're all part of a business. But business is war. What's that I hear? Uh, a rebel paper company is coming to take our flag! Wha- what's going on here? Wee-hoo! Come and get it! Who's gonna get the flag? Who's getting it? Whoa! Hey! Ho! Don't look where I am, look where I'm going. Juke right, juke left.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48011

  39. Get the flag! Get the flag! Come on, Big Tuna. What you gonna do about it? We got a flag right here. Wee-hoo!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48013

  40. Spangler Springs is a mile this way.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48014

  41. Its' I mean come on.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48016

  42. Alright fine. You know what ' I guess this place just hasn't rubbed off on you the way I hoped it would. I'm still going. And I'm not going to ask anymore. I'm not even going to look back. I'm just going to assume that you're with me.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48018

  43. Dammit.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48051

  44. You guys came. Where's everyone else?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48053

  45. Yeah I asked the bus driver to lock it because our stuff was in there. I guess he follows orders.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48055

  46. Even without an audience you're still at it.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48057

  47. Our office has a disease. And it goes by many names. Sarcasm. Snark. Wisecracks. You take things people care about and you make them feel lame about it with your jokes. That's what you did with this trip.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48059

  48. You don't like the hats?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48061

  49. They just didn't turn out how I wanted. In my head they were cooler, but they do look weird.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48064

  50. The world will little note, nor long remember the fight Jim and I had here at Gettysburg and that's good because I was basically wrong. I wanted my team to be, like, this army and I was their general. But I guess it's really more like they're just people who work in an office and I'm their manager. Yeah that's really probably a better analogy now that I think about it.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48065

  51. Charge!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48072

  52. It's kind of a haul, so we should probably get going. And tuna, I made a special sandwich for you, guess which kind.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48075

  53. Yes! Tuna of the land. Turkey. With pesto.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48077

  54. Water.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48079

  55. Getting everyone on the bus, check. Giving everyone hats, check. Sexiest eastern European girls, uh, check.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48082

  56. Please! Everyone and their mother goes to Devil's Den. It's the Olive Garden of Gettysburg.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48084

  57. Well, I meant that in a bad way. Obviously it tastes good, but it's not cool.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48086

  58. That is what I'm showing you.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48088

  59. Everybody beat it. Don't beat it, stay where you are.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48102

  60. What did you say?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48104

  61. What would you say?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48106

  62. That is exactly the right thing to say! Do it! Git-er-done! Phyllis, you just married Joe Order, you're new name is Phyllis Order, get it?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48108

  63. Jim, in regards to our high-five scheduled for four PM today, it has been moved up to now. Yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48110

  64. Andrew' Baines' Bernard.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48141

  65. Andrew Baines Bernard. I love filling these out. Because it's like taking a test, but I know the answers.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48143

  66. What was that?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48145

  67. Hey there. It's a pleasure.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48152

  68. I would love to. But I have to be completely honest with you guys. We're 100 percent staffed up.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48154

  69. Alright.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48156

  70. Alright! The DM Express is pulling out.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48166

  71. We will start here at Erinville.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48171

  72. Reception. Your classic one-man operation.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48174

  73. I was watching a movie and a bunch of apes took over San Francisco. Just saying.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48176

  74. I'll explore exploring it.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48178

  75. Ok uh next stop on the tour sales. Here we go. Station stop Jim Halpert. Oh boy our resident truth teller. Alright have at it. Let 'er rip. What do you hate about this place?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48180

  76. Jim?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48183

  77. You know if you joined our sales department you would be working very closely with our department head Mr. Dwight Schrute.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48188

  78. Dwight why don't you tell Susan about some of your hobbies. Survival skills. Ranking of animals.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48190

  79. Oh how am I supposed to pull this off?. The entire office is being nice to her than they've ever been to me. What I wouldn't give for one of Phyllis' classic room clearing farts right now.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48193

  80. But we already have a surplus of accountants as it is.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48201

  81. Those are fully staffed as well.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48203

  82. Yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48205

  83. Let me beat around the bush for a second. Our chairman of the board has some very strong feelings about-

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48207

  84. There are lots of considerations.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48210

  85. Alright. Well then welcome aboard.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48212

  86. We get you over to HR and then we get you set up with accounting. Hang on. Hello?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48214

  87. Hi gam-gam.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48216

  88. Are you taking your med-meds?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48218

  89. We promised we'd never say goodbye.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48221

  90. Hey, uh, guys. So Robert doesn't want his wife working here. So now that she is, we have to drive her away.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48235

  91. I am not asking, I am ordering.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48240

  92. It would be great if she were gone by lunch. Erin, you're up. Find her a place to work, but not too comfortable.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48242

  93. What is going on?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48266

  94. Okey-dokey, artichokey. You hate it, don't you?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48268

  95. Why would you say that?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48270

  96. It's not that, exactly.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48272

  97. Let's just say that if you don't want to work here, I am totally prepared to respect that.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48274

  98. I don't know.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48276

  99. Yes! The dude is an enigma.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48278

  100. Ah...

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48280