Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 19)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 19 of 40

1. Wait. Seriously?

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2. So we're just, like, jamming as friends?

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3. Closet full of mes-

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4. I'll be your croak madame.

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5. Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love.

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6. Ribbit!

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7. What about this one? It's kinda badass, right? Just seems kinda crazy in a way I might need right now.

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8. Handbag.

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9. Shh! Shhh!

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10. Tuna! Tuna! Do you want us to skip this party?

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11. You know what else? The-this... this sucks for Jim. Right? But it also sucks for us. Because we don't get invited to a ton of Halloween parties.

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12. Creed's going?!

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13. Screw corporate! They probably stole the idea anyway.

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14. Hey, Danny.

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15. I'm really sorry, but we can't come to your party tonight.

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16. You were?

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17. We're just like, totally caught in the middle here.

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18. Well Jim and Pam basically begged us not to go...

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19. Sookehhh. Bill Compton, from True Blood.

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20. What's up, man?

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21. When I was a freshman in college, I worked at the student newspaper, the Cornell Daily Sun? This was at Cornell. I had to write an op-ed column every day. Bernard's Regards.

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22. I started to ask myself, 'Do I have big plans here?' I didn't want to become editor of that paper, so I got up and walked right out of Walter Bernard hall, and that's actually when I heard eight male voices, singing, unencumbered by instruments. I was hooked. So is becoming CEO of this company your a capella group? Come on, we're going to Danny's bar. Public School.

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23. And a top of the day to you too, sir.

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24. Ah, man.

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25. Does the Nard-dog want Nard-pups? Yeah. I want a big ol' litter of Nard-pups. All jumping around, sucking on the teet. Put 'em in a box, give 'em to my neighbors. Yeah, I want kids.

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26. What if the moon was your car and Jupiter was your hair brush?

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27. Michael, you can't go to Mexico. You don't have your passport.

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28. Save me an aisle seat, Michael! I'm coming!

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29. I will not stand idly by while these Mexican villagers are sick.

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30. Whatever. I won't-I won't stand for it.

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31. We're one in a million.

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32. Just a heads up. Probably gonna be borrowing a few things. Uh, gonna need a contact lens case, some sunscreen, some sandals...

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33. Good-bye, Lackawana County.

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34. Well, two days minus how long we've been on the road. 45 minutes? So, like, two days basically. Maybe more.

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35. I don't know, I thought it was like a gymnasium or...

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36. They don't know how.

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37. Well, Carla knows.

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38. Do you smell like a weird, warm cheese?

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39. And the Christmas party.

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40. Nah, no. We'll be back before that.

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41. I can make myself cry.

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42. Should I-I got it. I got it. Um, hey, I saw a sign for a scenic overlook coming up. Really love to check out the view.

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43. Well, uh, there's a nice bistro coming up. We could pick up some Paninis for the road.

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44. Just make him stop the freaking bus!

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45. It doesn't matter.

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46. If we went to Mexico, we'd probably screw everything up anyway.

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47. Stop the bus!

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48. I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? Sixty miles to the gallon in the city.

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49. You're having a party at Gabe's apartment?

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50. You would?

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51. Try and keep me from coming!

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52. Try and hide it, I will track this party down!

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53. No what?

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54. Yeah.

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55. Oh thanks.

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56. Why does Erin like Gabe?

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57. That's really nice, thank you.

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58. [pours powdered seahorse into his wine glass]

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59. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome, Phyllis Vance! Isn't that White Diamonds Maya Smith Taylor?

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60. My nanny used to wear that.

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61. I just ate powdered seahorse! I have to admit I did not think it was gonna work, but it is totally working! I feel exactly like a seahorse! Blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub.

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62. Hey Creed, would you read Chinese?

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63. What does this say?

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64. Hello UPS! Still waiting on that five minutes with Erin order. Oh never mind it's here. Oh if it isn't the bell of the ball! You throw a lovely party ma lady...

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65. Did you wear my favorite outfit on purpose?

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66. You're four seasons in a day. You... got the Autumn thing going on. But if you put on ba- Put if you put on a blue... It's Spring Time in the Rockies!

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67. No!

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68. Puts pillow in front of the puke.

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69. Erin likes Gabe.

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70. Do you think that they've ever...

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71. Well girls tell each other things right?

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72. I accidentally ate some seahorses.

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73. I didn't know it's powdered, so like four or five, I don't know.

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74. That's so beautiful.

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75. I got it, try, um--[Coughs]

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76. I'm sorry, nine days until what?

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77. Anyone can just throw numbes up on a chart. What are you doing to make it happen?

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78. You have his email?

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79. That sounds weird.

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80. Yeah, sell.

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81. Your doing the wrong thing. You're gonna lose Michael's investment. You're gonna lose ours.

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82. If you tell Michael to sell, he'll sell.

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83. All those in favor of selling, say aye.

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84. You're gonna lose all of our money.

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85. What's the occasion?

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86. I would like a muffa du blueberry por favor.

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87. Eight dollars?

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88. Yeah, its where they make stuff.

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89. Hey Darryl.

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90. But I wanted you to know that Michael and I are wearing the same tie today. It's insane.

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91. Got it. Then I will call you.

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92. Well are you?

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93. Oh my gosh she is so cute. She looks like both of you.

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94. Oh, cool.

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95. Megan Fox! Come on!

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96. Yes, but one good text away from a high five.

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97. Oh, its on.

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98. It is not just coffee.

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99. And then he will smugly pay the cheque and make you feel so small.

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100. Damn it. Michael, you are moments away from the smack down of your life. If you don't know something, steer the conversation back to something you do know.

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