Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 15)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 15 of 40

1. Great news, Michael. We're now the official paper supplier of the NFL.

   Season 6 · Episode 13 · Quote 34715

2. Ok.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34888

3. Saber. Dunder Mifflin and Saber. So yeah, yeah, yay, yay.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34891

4. You sure it's saber?

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34893

5. I am telling you, there are no strawberries in here.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34949

6. Well maybe they ran away, because the pizza was like, 'Hey, get out of here, you stupid strawberries.'

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34951

7. The ball's totally in Erin's court. After the whole drum line thing.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34953

8. Hey, any fun weekend plans?

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35055

9. Uh, no, actually. So nothing? No movies, or parties, or anything you might want to invite someone to?

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35057

10. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35059

11. That's as hard as I can hint.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35060

12. These sure are pretty dogs...

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35133

13. They sure do.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35135

14. Oh, I do!

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35137

15. Got some Valentine's cards for my coworkers and my bro-workers.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35152

16. Valentine's Day, right around the corner. Erin and I have been on zero dates. So I got her a Valentine's Day card, but I didn't wanna seem 'too eager,' so I got cards for everyone in the whole office to kind of dilute it a little bit.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35155

17. [throwing a card at Meredith, which skims her throat]: Look alive.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35156

18. Whoa-oh, traffic jam!

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35182

19. Beep-beep! Beeooop-beep!

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35184

20. There's blood everywhere! Um, I got you a Valentine's card.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35186

21. Yeah, well it's Snoopy and Woodstock.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35188

22. Uh, Charles Schultz did. I thought it was relevant cause I got you all those birds for Christmas, remember?

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35190

23. Oh, look at that. They sure do. I hadn't noticed.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35192

24. Yeah! It's Roger Federer for men, I sprayed some in there.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35194

25. It's got pheromones in it.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35196

26. It's not cause of the smell. I'm just expecting a nosebleed.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35339

27. I'm sorry, I thought you saw me.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35342

28. Cool, thanks.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35344

29. ...That was weird.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35346

30. I don't even know what that card said.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35348

31. Excuse me? Everyone? Please check your emails, I just sent you the following message: 'Coworkers, you may have received a Valentine from me. Please understand this does not mean that I like you in any way.'

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35370

32. Phyllis, you guys are like my closest friends. I just mean I don't like-like you.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35372

33. Please don't read into this card. Yours in professionalism, Nard dog.'

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35374

34. It's n-- that wasn't... I like someone else.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35376

35. It's not... Whether or not, you...

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35378

36. Yeah, no, you really should. Because if your baby's born tomorrow, he's going to have the same birthday as Butt-mud Brooks. My old roommate.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35445

37. Guys. Word of advice. Speaking as a former baby. Don't get too hung up on baby names. I was named Walter Jr. after my father until I was about six or so, when my parents changed their minds.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35455

38. My brother was born, and my parents felt he better exemplified the Walter Jr. name, so they gave it to him. I was given Andrew, which they got out of a baby name book.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35457

39. Can we do sleight of hand tricks?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35465

40. Yes! Can anyone do those?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35467

41. I can do the evolution of dance-dance.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35479

42. Nope, actually music would just throw me off. I need complete silence. Okay... You're clapping. I need complete silence. Totally threw me off, so I'm going to have to start over. Evolution of dance-dance.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35481

43. A little frazzled.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35518

44. Hey, have you guys seen her?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35706

45. What? God damn it. She was supposed to come out yesterday.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35708

46. I decided to give baby Halpert a newspaper from the day she was born. This frame set me back fifty five bones. But she decided to take her sweet time, so now I have to switch it with today's paper.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35709

47. This man has a gift!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35760

48. Torn scrotum. Still on the mend, so not good timing.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35771

49. Yes, I'm going to ask out Erin. I'm just waiting for the stars to align. Literally. I have a small skylight in my bedroom, and I'd like for the moon to be visible.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35772

50. Why was I hiding behind the plant? Ha, well, in college, I took a botony class, and there was lots of drama in that class. Uh, kids would gossip about me, so I would eavesdrop on them by hiding behind different plants in the botony class. And then, uh, they would say things like 'Oh, this guy's going to fail this class,' or, 'What's this guy doing spying on us from behind plants?' And then I would jump out of them and confront them, and be like, 'Oh, you think all I do is hide behind plants and spy on people? Busted.' ... Oh, the reason? The reason I was hiding behind that plant in this situation was that I thought that Erin and Kevin were kind of hitting it off, and... I was jealous.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35855

51. Ow.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35939

52. Erin, uh, I need you to send this fax immediately. It's really important, so I'm going to stand here and wait for the confirmation.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35989

53. The fax says 'Erin, will you have dinner with me?' from Andy, and the number is our office fax number.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35991

54. Sorry, that's unacceptable. I need you to send it immediately, or you're fired.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35993

55. Oh, God, no. I'm... Just read the fax.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35995

56. I'm... I'm asking you out.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35997

57. So, it's a date.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 35999

58. Yeah, what day? What day?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 36001

59. Well, that, what's that one?

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 36003

60. Okay. Let's do it.

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Quote 36005

61. Welcome back Tuna!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36035

62. Erin go braugh!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36062

63. Thanks. It's actually my sister's old field hockey skirt.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36064

64. Erin and I have our first date tonight, and it has to be perfect. Why? Because according to 'How I Met Your Mother' that's the date that your kids are going to wait patiently to hear about, and you better have a good story for them.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36065

65. 'The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon'

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36154

66. She should go home. It's not the end of the world. We'll go on our date next week. She's still gonna like me in a week. Right?

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36172

67. I was just working at my desk and I wanted to run some new leads by you.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36174

68. No, no, no, no, no.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36176

69. I have some good ideas...

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36178

70. You sure?

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36180

71. Hi!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36213

72. That's okay, I'm in my 'worky-works.' You look amazing!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36215

73. It is? I'm sorry.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36242

74. Okay, thanks.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36244

75. Whoa!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36246

76. I didn't know you had a brother.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36248

77. Well, any brother of Erin's is a friend of mine. Nice to meet you. Andy Bernard.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36250

78. Are we rotating seats, or?

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36252

79. So, how does the whole foster sibling thing work? Do you guys share one parent or-?

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36256

80. All right. Formative years.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36258

81. Yeah, it's a kilt.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36260

82. Ooh. It's coming down out there.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36279

83. No, I-

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36281

84. Ah. Oh great, now I'm gonna get sick.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36283

85. Well then no Andy Bernard per se.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36330

86. Very nice. Let me just, let me just write that down real quick. Pencil? Can you give me that pencil? Hang on Teddy... I'm making a sale. Sales.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36358

87. Give me that

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36360

88. Me likey!

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36380

89. Hey. I guess you probably won't give me your leads since I'm a jerk salesman.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36438

90. Where?

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36440

91. Are you...

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36442

92. Are you sure?

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36444

93. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36508

94. All those who agree, say aye All those opposed -

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36511

95. And I'll text Erin. She's really good at this stuff too.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36539

96. Erin just texted me back. 'People love shells from far-away beaches'.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36546

97. Yeah. We wanted to bring you in and make a peace offering.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36555

98. It's freezing out here.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36578

99. Oh wow, thank you. You're the nicest person I've ever met.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36580

100. A bunch of us are talking about happy hour.

     Season 6 · Episode 19 · Quote 36636