Andy Bernard Quotes from The Office (page 14)

Cornell graduate, a cappella soloist, the Nard Dog.

3,969 quotes · page 14 of 40

1. Feel it against your cheek.

   Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33303

2. You give me a gift-- Bam! Thank you note. You invite me somewhere-- Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor-- Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.

   Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33305

3. Whoa--

   Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33307

4. Thank you very much. Now I've got it for you.

   Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33309

5. Is that right?

   Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33311

6. Huh.

   Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33313

7. That really works.

   Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33315

8. Hey-- oh, hold on a second. Do not walk around with your jacket cattywampus.

   Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33317

9. Whoa-- thank you very much. Oh boy.

   Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33319

10. You are very welcome.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33321

11. Have a seat yourself.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33323

12. Not necessary.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33325

13. You didn't have to do that.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33327

14. Aye-yi-yi!

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33380

15. Yep, yep. Took a page right out of the old Schrute book of niceness.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33384

16. You bought breakfast for everyone, so I got lunch for everyone.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33386

17. Whoa, whoa Dwight. I'm going to do this.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33419

18. No, I insist.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33421

19. Ok, Dwight this is ridiculous.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33423

20. Ahh.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33451

21. Stupid things wedged up there. No one in this office will help me.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33453

22. What if Dwight dies and I still owe him something? That is a recipe for a ghost.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33455

23. It's like a little envelope-- there you go.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33457

24. Surprise! It's from everybody. $15 value.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33459

25. I did stand up comedy once.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33611

26. Yeah, I killed.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33613

27. It was hilarious.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33615

28. I got it, I got it... Oh, Tuna beat me to it.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33631

29. I like Erin. There, I said it. I was kinda hoping she would ask me out, but things have not panned out on that front, so... it is time for the Nard Dog to take matters into his own paws.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33649

30. Who'd you get?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33682

31. Oooooo, saucy.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33684

32. Nathaniel Nutmeg, the local bartender and Nellie's brother.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33686

33. That's clever, Debutante.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33701

34. Well, you do actually. You've got this kinda like Florida Panhandle thing going, whereas what you really want is more of a Savannah accent, which is more like molasses just sorta spillin' out of your mouth.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33705

35. Uh, not familiar, what province is he from?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33707

36. I reckon I got something to say to Miss Beatrix Bourbon, if'n she don't mind.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33713

37. Hey there young lady.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33721

38. I would be remiss if I did not ask the pretty young lady out on a date for this weekend.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33723

39. Alright, a plan it is.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33725

40. I'm a little worried I might have asked out Naughty Nellie and not Erin. Which would be a whole lot less appealing, because Naughty Nellie says yes to everyone. And she might be a murderer.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33735

41. Just thinking about Weekend at Bernie's. It's funny, the guy's dead the whole time.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33757

42. Speaking of weekends, you excited about our date this weekend?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33759

43. Yeah, OK.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33761

44. Well, finest steakhouse in all Savannah.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33763

45. Did you mean a real date?

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33765

46. Totally... not.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33767

47. I didn't do it!

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33827

48. I am calm.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33829

49. That's aerosol spray. It's terrible for the environment.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33857

50. Ladies and gentlemen from Scranton, Pennsylvania, please welcome Michael 'The Machine' Scott.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33870

51. Hate the twirl!

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33875

52. I'm so jealous right now.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33896

53. Hey, guys, do you think anyone might have had sex in here?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33907

54. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33912

55. Michael, what if somebody asks you a question at this meeting? Are you just gonna wave, or what?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33925

56. Make it a softball. Something he can, like, crank out of the park.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33928

57. This is your big day. Come on.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33931

58. Kay.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33941

59. Yeah. Well, you should do that. Get in line.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33962

60. Look, do you want to be able to tell your grandkids you stood up for yourself during the - America's biggest financial crisis?

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 33964

61. You should get up and say something. You've got to be true to what's in there. Don't be a wuss.

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34007

62. I've always been the guy who can rally other people to rebel. In high school I organized a walk out over standardized testing. Got over 500 students to just skip the SATs. At the last second I chickened out, took it anyway, got a 1220, always regretted it. I feel lachrymose .

    Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34008

63. You wanted to see me?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34107

64. Is it serious? Wow. Andy's a wittle scared.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34109

65. Why would people say that?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34111

66. Andy have a boo-boo tummy.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34113

67. Would you rather me say 'Hey guys, my irritable bowel syndrome is flaring up?'

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34115

68. Crazy diarrhea happening right now?' Cause things can get real adult real fast.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34117

69. Do I sometimes replace Rs with Ws? Yes. Do I sometimes repeat a word to get my point across? Well if I do, Andy's sowwy.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34119

70. Well if I we're complaining, a lot of people think your Elvis voice is annoying.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34121

71. I don't-just people. For the record, I think it's pretty fantastic.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34123

72. Tank you Mr. Elwis.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34125

73. Dr. Tuna, MD, I have some terrible news.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34127

74. The entire office has come down with a pernicious case of the Mondays.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34129

75. 0%, unless we perform an immediate emergency morale transplant, stat!

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34131

76. Don't worry. There is a surefire cure. Employee of the Month. Every awesome place I've worked has had one.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34133

77. Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, AIG, my summer at Enron.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34134

78. Great!

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34136

79. Nope!

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34138

80. Jim's talking to Michael right now. They totally went for our idea!

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34165

81. Number nine, number nine. Jim Halpert.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34250

82. Correction. It was my idea.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34278

83. That would be employee number three, which would be... son of a bitch, Pam Halpert.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34286

84. Oh, really? From what, two to four?

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34290

85. Why would you wrap it in a sheet, if you're not covering anything up?

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34400

86. I begged Dwight and Jim to give me Erin for Secret Santa. And I decided to give Erin the Twelve days of Christmas. Is it my fault that the first eight days is basically thirty birds?

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34410

87. Does it hurt?

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34473

88. Hmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34475

89. I know, right?

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34477

90. Huh!

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34479

91. Yeah! Totally! I admit it! It's me.

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34481

92. Seriously?' Are you serious?

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34483

93. Yeah! Totally serious! I'm your Secret Santa! Busted!

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34485

94. Hey Phyllis, could you not reveal to Erin that I'm her Secret Santa?

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34535

95. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34537

96. Nnnnya.

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34570

97. I, I thought that you would like it.

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34607

98. Well it's the thought that counts.

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34609

99. I suppose a gentlemen might... throw in the towel, at this point. Guess what? Not gonna happen.

    Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34611

100. Merry Christmas Erin! Take it away boys!

     Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34705