Human resources, and Michael's least favorite person.
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All right, look, what you gotta understand is that when you come to work, you give up certain rights.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30157
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All right, come. Sit down, Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30159
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I'm running this meeting.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30161
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It's not. It's not. Sit down or I am writing you up.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30163
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Casual Fridays are cancelled. Let's just not do it anymore.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30165
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There's not a single appropriate outfit in this whole--except mine, quite honestly.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30167
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Ah, this reminds me of the HR convention last fall.
Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30659
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Really, really funny.
Season 5 · Episode 26 · Line 30661
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What are you guys talking about? I have a daughter. How can I be a virgin?
Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31016
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And that's how you broke your ankle?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31160
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I will send this off to corporate. Make sure you hold on to your medical bills. Feel better.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31169
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He has a doctor's note.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31172
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A guy on my street fell off a ladder painting his house. It was on the news.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31174
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That's not a very good Darryl.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31176
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Hmmm.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31178
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Well, we did a little investigation and Dwight had a good point. The ladder didn't reach the top shelf. I don't know if I believe it, but I am a fan of the hardboiled detective novel. I'll punch you in da mush, see.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31180
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Sounds like a EMDP-40.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31225
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You're into trains?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31227
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Wow.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31229
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That's so cool.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31231
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Wow, I'd love to take a look at that.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31233
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Well, you know, 'cause of the trains.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31235
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Uhh, oh boy, oh boy.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31237
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Get over there! Get over there!
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31239
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I can't believe this. Hey you, ass****!
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31241
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You gonna eat all that dog food yourself?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31243
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Just keep going.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31245
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If they were dilated...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31295
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No, nah. I don't see it.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31302
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Hey Darryl, look ahhh, we're here to apologize ahh...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31318
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What?
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31321
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Well, I don't think there's any reason to check 'em but I suppose if we wanted to be really certain...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31325
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You really did it...
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31328
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Ahhh, kay. Look, we could all file complaints against each other and just drown in a sea of paperwork, but you know, we can just move on with our... with our lives.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31332
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So Dwight and Darryl came to an agreement that both would file complaints with corporate and now I get to do all this paperwork. We worked it out.
Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31333
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Michael, I have one extra twin bed, if you want.
Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 31841
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What?
Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32214
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[sighs]
Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32216
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Well I guess this weddings not going to happen. I wonder if this is it for them.
Season 6 · Episode 4 · Line 32218
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Well the 'fun' is in it.
Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32240
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Yeah, I know.
Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32242
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Oscar says I checked out huh? Huh.
Season 6 · Episode 5 · Line 32310
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Hey, Jim.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32659
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Oh, Jesus!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32661
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What did I do?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32663
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Yeah, sure, what's up?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32835
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Um, yeah, ah, ah, that means a lot. Thank you for saying it.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32837
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Yeah, er... pull up a chair or sit on the shredder.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32839
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Ah, you should probably deal with that outside of the work place.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32841
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Ok, I mean, I could talk to her.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32843
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Yeah... that's why they pay me the big bucks.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32845
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I'm good...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32847
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You know, I always knew if Michael just took the time to get to know me, we'd become friends.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32848
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Hey Pam, could I talk to you for a sec?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32849
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Well, I was hoping that maybe in light of everything that's happened today, it would be a good idea if today, you, me, and Michael could head into the conference room for some conflict resolution.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32851
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Maybe you could just take the rest of the day off... you know...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32854
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Buddy, I think that...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32858
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Pam, can I talk to you for a second?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33531
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I heard about the hit. Just-- make sure it's off company property, right?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33533
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Okay, I think we should probably be okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33535
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Okay. And-- the-the power-- comes from the back foot. So its-- its all one motion through the-- body. So you stay a little low and there's a twist. You keep your shoulder down and you kind of throw out the arm. Pow!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33537
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Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33539
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Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33541
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Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33543
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Wow Michael, like this must be obvious how wrong this is.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34529
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You can't, Ow. Look, you cannot push religion.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34531
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No!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34533
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Wow! Cause...
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34669
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Thank you!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34671
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Thanks man!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34673
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What are, are you doing at my desk?
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34742
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Come on, Dwight. Get out of here.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34744
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Sorry. Hey, Toby Flenderson. Nice to meet you. How can I help?
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34746
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What do you mean?
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34748
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Um... nothing comes to mind.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34750
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Mm-hmm.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34752
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Happy's a funny word.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34754
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You know, uh, what does it mean to be happy. Keep philosophers busy for awhile.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34756
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Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34758
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Generally happy.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34760
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Oh, I don't know.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34763
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I don't know.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34765
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I don't know. No.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34767
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I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I don't want to lie and I DON'T want to tell the truth.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34769
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Well, Eric's just going over some stuff.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34771
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It's, uh, it's HR stuff.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34773
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Look, you know, in any company there's going to be certain degrees -
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34783
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Michael, this is really inappropriate to talk about.
Season 6 · Episode 13 · Line 34788
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Oop.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34928
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Looks like we kicked it.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34930
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Oh, one more!
Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35639
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If we don't patronise the only Syrian restaurant in town, there'll be nothing left but pan pizzas and make-your-own salads.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36470
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Does it have to be pizza? Could go for a, falafel?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36480
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I don't think this fax is going through. Is there a different... I can just put it through again, you know.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37138
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I called Tallahassee. He can ask you not to come in, but he can't dock your pay. That's not legal.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37148
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Yeah, I also learned some interesting things about how they structure...
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37150
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This here is a radon test kit. Okay I will be putting 'em everywhere. And... please don't throw these out. This is a radon test kit. Please don't throw these out. See them all over the office.
Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37843
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Come on, Michael. You're interrupting.
Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37846
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Please sit down.
Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37848
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I don't wanna do this.
Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37869