Toby Flenderson Quotes from The Office (page 6)

Human resources, and Michael's least favorite person.

936 quotes · page 6 of 10

1. All right, look, what you gotta understand is that when you come to work, you give up certain rights.

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2. All right, come. Sit down, Dwight.

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3. I'm running this meeting.

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4. It's not. It's not. Sit down or I am writing you up.

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5. Casual Fridays are cancelled. Let's just not do it anymore.

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6. There's not a single appropriate outfit in this whole--except mine, quite honestly.

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7. Ah, this reminds me of the HR convention last fall.

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8. Really, really funny.

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9. What are you guys talking about? I have a daughter. How can I be a virgin?

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10. And that's how you broke your ankle?

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11. I will send this off to corporate. Make sure you hold on to your medical bills. Feel better.

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12. He has a doctor's note.

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13. A guy on my street fell off a ladder painting his house. It was on the news.

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14. That's not a very good Darryl.

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15. Hmmm.

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16. Well, we did a little investigation and Dwight had a good point. The ladder didn't reach the top shelf. I don't know if I believe it, but I am a fan of the hardboiled detective novel. I'll punch you in da mush, see.

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17. Sounds like a EMDP-40.

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18. You're into trains?

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19. Wow.

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20. That's so cool.

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21. Wow, I'd love to take a look at that.

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22. Well, you know, 'cause of the trains.

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23. Uhh, oh boy, oh boy.

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24. Get over there! Get over there!

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25. I can't believe this. Hey you, ass****!

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26. You gonna eat all that dog food yourself?

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27. Just keep going.

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28. If they were dilated...

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29. No, nah. I don't see it.

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30. Hey Darryl, look ahhh, we're here to apologize ahh...

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31. What?

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32. Well, I don't think there's any reason to check 'em but I suppose if we wanted to be really certain...

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33. You really did it...

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34. Ahhh, kay. Look, we could all file complaints against each other and just drown in a sea of paperwork, but you know, we can just move on with our... with our lives.

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35. So Dwight and Darryl came to an agreement that both would file complaints with corporate and now I get to do all this paperwork. We worked it out.

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36. Michael, I have one extra twin bed, if you want.

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37. What?

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38. [sighs]

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39. Well I guess this weddings not going to happen. I wonder if this is it for them.

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40. Well the 'fun' is in it.

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41. Yeah, I know.

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42. Oscar says I checked out huh? Huh.

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43. Hey, Jim.

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44. Oh, Jesus!

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45. What did I do?

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46. Yeah, sure, what's up?

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47. Um, yeah, ah, ah, that means a lot. Thank you for saying it.

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48. Yeah, er... pull up a chair or sit on the shredder.

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49. Ah, you should probably deal with that outside of the work place.

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50. Ok, I mean, I could talk to her.

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51. Yeah... that's why they pay me the big bucks.

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52. I'm good...

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53. You know, I always knew if Michael just took the time to get to know me, we'd become friends.

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54. Hey Pam, could I talk to you for a sec?

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55. Well, I was hoping that maybe in light of everything that's happened today, it would be a good idea if today, you, me, and Michael could head into the conference room for some conflict resolution.

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56. Maybe you could just take the rest of the day off... you know...

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57. Buddy, I think that...

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58. Pam, can I talk to you for a second?

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59. I heard about the hit. Just-- make sure it's off company property, right?

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60. Okay, I think we should probably be okay.

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61. Okay. And-- the-the power-- comes from the back foot. So its-- its all one motion through the-- body. So you stay a little low and there's a twist. You keep your shoulder down and you kind of throw out the arm. Pow!

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62. Yes.

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63. Yes.

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64. Okay.

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65. Wow Michael, like this must be obvious how wrong this is.

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66. You can't, Ow. Look, you cannot push religion.

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67. No!

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68. Wow! Cause...

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69. Thank you!

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70. Thanks man!

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71. What are, are you doing at my desk?

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72. Come on, Dwight. Get out of here.

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73. Sorry. Hey, Toby Flenderson. Nice to meet you. How can I help?

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74. What do you mean?

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75. Um... nothing comes to mind.

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76. Mm-hmm.

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77. Happy's a funny word.

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78. You know, uh, what does it mean to be happy. Keep philosophers busy for awhile.

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79. Yes.

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80. Generally happy.

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81. Oh, I don't know.

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82. I don't know.

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83. I don't know. No.

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84. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I don't want to lie and I DON'T want to tell the truth.

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85. Well, Eric's just going over some stuff.

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86. It's, uh, it's HR stuff.

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87. Look, you know, in any company there's going to be certain degrees -

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88. Michael, this is really inappropriate to talk about.

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89. Oop.

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90. Looks like we kicked it.

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91. Oh, one more!

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92. If we don't patronise the only Syrian restaurant in town, there'll be nothing left but pan pizzas and make-your-own salads.

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93. Does it have to be pizza? Could go for a, falafel?

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94. I don't think this fax is going through. Is there a different... I can just put it through again, you know.

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95. I called Tallahassee. He can ask you not to come in, but he can't dock your pay. That's not legal.

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96. Yeah, I also learned some interesting things about how they structure...

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97. This here is a radon test kit. Okay I will be putting 'em everywhere. And... please don't throw these out. This is a radon test kit. Please don't throw these out. See them all over the office.

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98. Come on, Michael. You're interrupting.

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99. Please sit down.

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100. I don't wanna do this.

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