Toby Flenderson Quotes from The Office | Page 8

I'm sorry, if we did something to upset you, I'm sure it was inadvertent.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45344

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45371

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45464

Well, we could try him out for a little while... and if it doesn't work out, you know, maybe one of us could, you know, step in...

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45626

No, no,... no. Sorry. We cut Kevin off for the same thing. You have to have something to say, if you talk.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45684

I should not be here. I'm in the- I was in the wrong- I'm- I'm sorry. Uh, just picture me back there. I- I was never here.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45862

Guys. Really, it's ok. Everyone has made a really solid first impression, I don't think there's any reason for anybody to worry.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45950

I am on the wrong side, and I am freaking out here.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45951

Chicken piccata, side salad.

Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45965

I thought I was T-Dog.

Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46294

I would spend a lot of time launching my true crime podcast, The Flenderson Files. Dum bum buh. Flenderson files.

Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46588

If I won the lottery, I don't know. I don't think I'd make any changes to my life. Quit my job, move, meet someone....

Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46598

Hey, where do I park?

Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46707

Uh, you know what, I can go park it myself.

Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46709

It's probably okay...

Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46711

I think it's better that I...

Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46713

It's a finicky car...

Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46715

It's a little tricky, you might have to... take...

Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46717

Every Halloween I tell him the same thing - You can't bring weapons into the office, and every year he says the same thing - As soon as I get my weapons back I'm gonna kill you. But there I am at Thanksgiving, alive, you know. I'm a lucky turkey.

Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46930

If you turn out the lights we'll do a little dance.

Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46980

Great.

Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46987

So great.

Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46997

Oh, hey, Bert. Wanna see the dance? Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry...

Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47152

...bones. What?

Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47154

What... you can't... Gabe? Are you...

Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47156

For you?

Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47245

Who are you seeing? That's gr'

Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47247

Oh.

Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47249

You know I don't have to do the paperwork unless you're actually dating.

Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47251

But I mean'uh have you talked to her? Is sh'

Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47253

Do you know her last name, yet?

Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47255

She's going to be screaming her own last name?

Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47257

Good luck Gabe.

Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47259

It's going to be nice to have just a healthy, young, fit presence in the middle of the office.

Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47579

Radiant.

Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47586

You know it's not just pregnant women who don't get their due. You know who's gorgeous? Helen Mirren.

Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47591

You know what would be the hottest thing ever? It's a pregnant Helen Mirren.

Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47593

Did you bring your passport with you?

Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48230

Well, I do. Always ready for adventure.

Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48232

No.

Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48234

Oh my god.

Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48550

You know this sounds a lot like the premise of my latest Chad Flendermen novel. A murder for framing.

Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48555

Chad Flendermen. Just an easy going black guy, he knows the streets, yet he also went to Oxford. So. Just as comfortable on a motorcycle as he is on Air Force One. Oh and he's also the world's leading Egyptologist.

Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48556

No, no, no, no, no. Women chase him. He misses his wife.

Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48558

Fingerprints can be planted. You know with a severed hand...

Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48566

'..Chad Flendermen's kryptonite.

Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48675

Well, and you have a... yes, a- d- another chateau.

Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49148

Note? It's a symphony.

Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49181

I would love that.

Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49183

Toby, you are playing a dangerous game. Guess I'm through the gateway now, though, right?

Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49184

Bears.

Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49214

To madness.

Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49290

And I am Bacchus's friend!

Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49298

Mineral-ey.

Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49347

You know, when I was on j-duty, uh, Strangler case, we used to recreate the various stranglings with empanadas from- at Ernesto's.

Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49404

You mean food truck. Ernesto's was a food truck.

Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49406

Ernesto!

Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49458

Yeah, hey.

Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49460

It's the empanada guy.

Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49465

It has been a long, lonely winter.

Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49905

It is real, thank you for saying that.

Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49907

Me?

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50676

Yeah, um... I can't believe you remembered. I do self-defense. Um, I'll go put on my cup.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50678

Self-defense is not some fun boxing match, okay? This is about escaping with your life. So... strike, scream, and run. All right? Let's try it.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50698

That may have been my fault.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50701

Okay, look, in a real crisis situation, you're not gonna have to time to think, okay? So just remember, I-A-A-T-G. 'It's all about the groin.'

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50703

I don't think that's very common.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50705

Well, the most common scenario is a larger man attacking a smaller female.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50709

It's interesting that you're drawn to the point of view of the attacker. You would like the turn of the table. Okay, the latest Chad Flenderman novel... written from the point of view of his nemesis, Dr. Lucifer Wu.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50711

All right, well, let's try one simple technique together. Okay, why doesn't everyone stand? Okay, so... you're being attacked. You've got your hands up. Simple palm strike to the chin. Up to the chin. One, two.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50713

Now, if your attacker is willing to defile a corpse, you better stop playing dead right away and just make it known that you're alive.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50743

There's no shame in getting beaten up by a girl. My ex-wife used to demolish me.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50764

Okay, this isn't over. Let's stay focused, okay? We made fun of Andy earlier for getting beat up by a little girl, but... little things can be dangerous.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50823

Okay. Good point...

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50825

I don't... I don't...

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50827

I don't know if this is gonna help...Uh...

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50835

We should stay to maybe some more traditional models...

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50837

Okay, this is what's called pre-violent posturing.

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50839

Okay, I'm at what's called 'the decision point.'

Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50841

Knock, knock. Hey, Sasha's first year in the troops, so I'm selling cookies for her. Anyway, would you like some?

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50889

What?

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50891

You can't claim territories. This is the only place I interact with people. Can't you sell at your church or barber shop? Or chess club, or?

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50893

That's it? Yeah, well, ok. Thanks Darryl.

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50895

Hey, you tricked me. You just wanted Kevin.

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50915

No, no, no. It's not fair. What if Kevin wants to buy cookies from me?

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50917

See?

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50919

No, you hit the road, jack.

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50923

You know, why don't we split the order? It's only fair.

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50925

I'm, I'm not gonna comment on my personal life.

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50991

No.

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51011

50?

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51015

And this is Sam.

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51076

Yeah, I don't know why you picked names that are also guys' names.

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51080

Don't make me be your pony, Kevin.

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51082

Yeah. I have my dignity too. I refuse to be another man's horsey.

Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51087

Robert did say you'd be joining us. Welcome. I'm Tony.

Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51145

I- I said I'm Tony. Okay I made a mistake. I thought it might go unnoticed. But uh, I'm Toby.

Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51148

It happens, okay? Uh, so let's just find an empty desk for you, and uh, I'm sure Robert will be with you as soon as he gets in.

Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51150

Erin, HR is a joke. I can't do anything about anything.

Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51884

Me?

Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52303

Toby Flenderson Quotes from The Office (page 8)