Toby Flenderson Quotes from The Office (page 7)

Human resources, and Michael's least favorite person.

936 quotes · page 7 of 10

1. Hey everyone.

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2. Well, that's...

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3. Good.

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4. Oh, wow, this is, uh, just a mystery novel that I've been working on.

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5. Oh, uh, I don't know, uh...

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6. Oh... yes.

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7. Write your own damn novel.

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8. I'm hungry.

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9. Well, that was better.

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10. Guys, I think Michael and Luke are related.

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11. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to working with you, Michael.

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12. What's something that you...

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13. Michael has been assigned six hours of mandatory counseling with a trained professional. I actually have a degree in social work. I mean, I know a lot of people would ask a few standard questions, and check off a few boxes, but I've got a chance to do some good here.

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14. We can do this with more privacy.

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15. I'd like you to imagine a place where you feel very peaceful. For me, it's the walk from the yogurt shop to my car after I drop my daughter off on Sunday afternoons.

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16. Uh... what was your favorite flavor of...

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17. What?

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18. Ok, I can't count the hour if you don't talk.

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19. Michael, it's up to me to check off the boxes, and I can't do that unless I honestly...

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20. Tell me!

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21. I think we might be about to maybe really get somewhere.

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22. Of course.

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23. Come on Michael. Those are all fake stories.

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24. Oh.

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25. You know what Michael? You're right. You win. This is pointless. We're not getting anywhere. I got a bunch of fun stuff, in case my daughter ever comes over. Why don't we just run out the clock by playing games, drawing some pictures, talking?

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26. We can play something more complicated if you like.

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27. So you have played it before?

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28. Who's Jeff?

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29. So, her husband, your stepdad?

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30. Did you guys do much stuff together?

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31. It's working. I'm doing it!

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32. Its really sad that your dog ran away. Why did it keep you from going to the park?

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33. Why?

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34. Dogs don't do that.

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35. I don't know.

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36. It's very important for you to be liked, isn't it?

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37. I'm just trying to help you Michael.

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38. I just want to...

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39. Just fill them out any way you want.

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40. I'll have Erin fax them back to corporate.

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41. Yes.

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42. He seems fine.

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43. Heh.

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44. You filled them in and faxed them yourself!

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45. You remember that.

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46. Unless part of you made that mistake on purpose.

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47. It's a great stick, right?

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48. Thanks!

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49. No.

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50. Oh.

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51. Sunday church service... it's been a few years. The Big Guy and I, we got some catching up to do.

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52. Okay, this is, all right, this is silly. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope...

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53. Why you always got to be so mean to me?

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54. Hi guys.

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55. Uh, I just wanted to let you know that, uh, I'll be taking a leave of absence starting next week.

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56. Uh, no, the opposite. I was actually selected to be a juror on a very high-profile case.

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57. Okay, that's hurtful talk. We've talked about that. You know, I don't interrupt your announcements.

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58. Well, I really can't talk about it, but it's a very high profile case.

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59. Yes.

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60. I don't know.

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61. Come on.

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62. Guys, it's a really big deal.

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63. I can neither confirm nor deny this. Let's just say I'll be up to my neck in jury duty.

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64. Corporate will be sending someone else to take my place for a while.

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65. Uh, Holly Flax, she comes from the Nashua branch.

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66. Yeah, uh, she'll be starting next week. If you have any questions about the transition, just let me know.

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67. Yeah.

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68. Hey.

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69. Uh, we're on recess. I came for the party. Hey, everyone.

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70. I can't talk about it or I'll get removed from the jury.

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71. I know people are only this excited to talk to me because of the trial. But, they talk to me for a while, and maybe people realize I have something to say. And then one day, we're just talking.

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72. Oh, Jim. Hey.

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73. There's this female uh, uh, stenographer at the courthouse...

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74. Who looks exactly like you.

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75. Yeah. No, it's uncanny.

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76. What?

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77. No, I would never ever do anything like that. But it does seem like something you would do.

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78. No, they bring it in.

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79. In meetings.

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80. I really disagree with this. I think it's kind of hateful. Though I am a little happy right now to have a platform to talk about the outcome of a case I was recently a juror on. The Scranton Strangler. That man's being put to death. I was part of the verdict, and I'm not so sure he's guilty any more.

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81. Well you know Michael, I have a brother in Boulder. Rory Flenderson. You should look him up.

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82. Okay.

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83. Here's the thing Rory, I knew you guys would hit it off in an odd way.

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84. Do- Well you should give him a little time to settle in. But-

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85. Well, no. He hates jams.

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86. Thanks.

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87. Hey, what happened?

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88. Oh, I should get the accident report binder. I've never used the gun violence forms before.

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89. I am supposed to collect eyewitness accounts. Who saw Dwight do this?

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90. Would you consider this a terrorist incident?

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91. Oh, there's a whole 'nother terrorism booklet for that.

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92. Uh, well, we probably don't want to go just on seniority.

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93. I'm sorry, what is your three-step plan?

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94. W-What?

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95. How will your experience selling refinery equipment translate to our smaller scale here?

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96. Uh... Human Resources.

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97. Yes.

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98. So, how would you go about settling interpersonal conflicts within the office?

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99. Well, it's one of my strengths, but it's the manager's job.

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100. Well, why would you need relocation, if you already live in Scranton?

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