Human resources, and Michael's least favorite person.
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I love it. I love it... I would love a picture of the two of us, to also take to Costa Rica.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22153
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No, uh... Does anyone have a camera here? No one has a camera here. Uh...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22155
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I'm gonna... I'll go get one. Stay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22157
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What'd you guys do?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22251
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Well, we still have to do the exit interview.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22253
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Wow, thanks, Michael, I...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22256
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Hi Pam. Stay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22267
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I'm Toby.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22270
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This place, um...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22276
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I've got some ideas, I guess...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22278
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Well let me see... I would, uh...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22281
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I guess everything's okay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22283
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I made it this far, right? What's the point?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22284
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'Suck on this.'
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22287
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Thanks, I'm gonna set it to Costa Rica time.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22305
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I normally do nothing, I guess. No, you shouldn't-
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22320
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Hey. Hey, you know, I just realized uh, I don't have a picture of the two of us.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22470
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Yeah, could we...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22472
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This one right here.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22474
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It's digital, so just take as many as you want.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22476
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Thanks... Really, Michael?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22501
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It's not.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22503
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Oh, some kind of... alarm.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22507
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This is Jim Halpert...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22513
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And Pam Beesly.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22515
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You're welcome.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22521
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This is a picture I've been carrying around in my wallet for about six years. It's this unspoiled beach in Costa Rica, Playa Grande. Um, I take it out when I get stressed or depressed, and it really calms me down. Never thought I'd get to live here, you know. But it turns out they built these great new condos there, so, this could be me, right around, uh, where the trees used to be.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22540
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Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22541
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Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22544
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Yeah, I guess it will be my, uh, thing in Costa Rica, be a nature photographer.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22546
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Yeah. Um, you mind if I get a picture?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22548
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Think you could...Okay. Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22550
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Uh, no, that's okay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22599
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Okay, okay, I'm going.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22604
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Well, uh, okay. Um. It's really great to be here tonight, with the Ferris wheel, the band, and the low sunlight. I'm gonna miss you all when I go to Costa Rica, and if I keep drinking beer like this, I'm gonna have to take a leak-a. Look, on a more personal note, I just want to say thanks, you know, no matter what was going on in my life, you know, my divorce, or the custody battle, or that thing with my sister, it was just nice knowing I had a, a supportive place to come to where...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22606
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I'm gonna really miss going to beers with you guys every Tuesday night and lastly, I'd love to urge you to keep up with my fight to have the building checked for radon gas. You know, it's a, it's a real serious matter, and every time I try to have the, uh...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22609
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...building looked into...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Quote 22611
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Oh, I went zip lining my third day in Costa Rica. I guess the harness wasn't strapped in exactly right. I broke my neck. And, I've been in the hospital five weeks now. I still haven't seen the beach. It's nice to have visitors.
Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23120
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No, but I'm going zip lining tomorrow, through the, through the rainforest, with this cool couple I, I met at my hotel. Wo-woman's amazing...
Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23140
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Hey, is that Michael? Does he miss me? Uh, Oscar? Are you there? Hello?
Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23143
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It was terrible.
Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23733
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I prefer being stuck in a Costa Rican hospital.
Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23735
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Not really.
Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23737
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Hi, Micha-
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25270
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Well thanks Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25331
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Well that's sweet, I missed you guys too.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25333
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Well, um, it was amazing. It really was, thanks for asking. Um the beaches were pristine...
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25335
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...and, yeah, the whole thing was incredibly cathartic.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25337
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It was actually kind of hard to meet people I found.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25339
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And uh, yeah, plus it was hot.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25341
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Are you all right, Michael?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25343
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Hey guys that's really inappropriate.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25382
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I'm not going to punch you, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25404
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No, why would I punch you?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25406
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Hey, what is this?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25456
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Why?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25459
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Hey, what's going on? You don't have my permission to do this.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25461
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Hey, hey what are- why are you doing this?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25463
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Don't search my stuff.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25465
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I have a reasonable right to privacy.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25467
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Michael!
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25469
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Oh my God!
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25472
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That was... I went to Costa Rica for a few months. What is going on?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25474
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That is not mine. I have never seen that before.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25479
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What is going on here?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25482
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Of course not!
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25485
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I didn't put caprese salad in my drawer, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25501
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Did you?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25503
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You know but the police could have been out there you know, catching real criminals instead of here searching my stuff.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25505
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I did leave.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25508
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Well, I don't see it that way.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25510
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What?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25512
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We should really have the office's air quality tested. We have radon coming from below, we have asbestos in the ceilings. These are silent killers.
Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25583
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You'll see.
Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25585
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Michael, we are only allowed to talk about Meredith's work performance. We can not ask her to stop drinking.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25953
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Michael, We should contact some experts. You don't know what your doing.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25969
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Okay you know, this-- this is over.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26008
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Sure. Wow. Ow...
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26023
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Hey Sasha, it's daddy. Have you ever heard of this doll , Princess Unicorn?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26044
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No, No, No. No, I'm just curious if you've heard of it.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26046
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This is great. My ex-wife's going to be so pissed. For once daddy's gonna be a hero.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26047
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Hey, I'd like to buy one of your dolls.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26050
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Oh, no, I-- no, no, I was gonna buy that doll.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26052
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I was-- I was gonna get the doll.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26054
-
But I-- I promised my daughter. Darryl, look-- I-- I need the doll, I need the doll. I-- I'm-- I'm begging you. I just-- I need it more than anything in this world. I need this doll. Darryl, man I need this doll.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26056
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I only have $200.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26058
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Oh man, thanks, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26060
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Oh thanks. She's gonna... oh...
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26062
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No. It's even-- it's even better than the one I wanted.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26064
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Michael is like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch. And when it's over you're like... how much time is left on this flight? Now what?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Quote 28691
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Not much? What's up with you? Nah it's okay. I'm in the bathroom. Hey you been watching Damages this year? It's so good. No, you gotta tune in, it's as good as anything on HBO. Hey does blue go with tan?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29133
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I have like, like a blue shirt? I don't wear a lot of colors, I have a lot of tan. Uh huh.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29135
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You have to stop.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Quote 29274
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Can't you just not look at his feet?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29933
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Well, I was in the Seminary for a year and dropped out 'cause I wanted to have sex with this girl, Cathy. Followed her to Scranton. Took the first job I could find in H.R. Later she divorced me. So no, I wouldn't say I have a passion for H.R.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29935
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I could loan you a pair of socks.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29948
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No, they're clean. I was going to wear them to volleyball practice later.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 29950
-
Hey, Meredith. Can I talk to you privately for a second?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30031
-
Your outfit.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30033
-
You--you might consider pulling it down a touch. It's ri--it's riding up a little high.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Quote 30035