Toby Flenderson Quotes from The Office (page 9)

Human resources, and Michael's least favorite person.

936 quotes · page 9 of 10

1. Now, we're actually a lot closer to Binghamton than you are. Kimosabe.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52306

2. I like to think Lloyd Gross is a no-nonsense guy who doesn't back down from anybody. And he calls people 'Kimosabe'.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52307

3. That's true. There's no rule. You can check the employee handbook. Oh, can I check the employee handbook Lloyd? Well, does it say anything about me choking a man with my bare hands?

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52311

4. No.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52312

5. I've seen guys like you. Big guys who like to push the little guys around. Lloyd Gross eats bullies like you for breakfast.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52315

6. Hey, text from the old wife. Gonna take that.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52317

7. Andy, we wanted to talk to you. A lot of us are very concerned about you.

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52680

8. I can refer you to someone to talk to.

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52692

9. Give you a name or-

   Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52694

10. Hey, Andy, Nobody's calling you crazy, Andy. We're your friends, Andy.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52705

11. Do you see David Wallace in the room right now?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52713

12. Kelly Kapoor is gone. Her fiance Ravi was hired as a pediatrics professor at Miami university.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52816

13. Miami University in Ohio. On her last day, Kelly was still a little confused about it

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52818

14. Shortly after Kelly left, Ryan quit and also moved to Ohio, for what he claimed were unrelated reasons.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52821

15. There's two new guys back there with me now. They're in their 20s. And we really get along.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52833

16. Just three single guys. Getting into trouble.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52835

17. Hey you wanted to see me?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52878

18. You can only fire Nellie for cause.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52880

19. Except you just told me you were gonna make it up. Now if she sues, I have to testify against you.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52882

20. Can't. I took a course at the Weintraub Memory Academy. I sat next to this woman named Beverly Brook. She had a Greek salad for lunch. See what I mean?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52884

21. This is a bloodbath. Alright, I'm calling this.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52968

22. It is enough of this. Everyone, let's go back to work.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52970

23. I w-, uh, I would love to give uh-

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53084

24. John Stamos.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53193

25. Johnny Depp.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53199

26. Sh, uh, um, I was having this separate conversation with Kevin. Uh, Johnny Depp.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53201

27. Uh-huh.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53203

28. It's an EMF hotspot.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53587

29. You think I have a machine for measuring bee hives?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53591

30. Hey.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54029

31. Are... are you me?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54032

32. Oh my goodness, look. Look at this.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54034

33. [unintelligible mumbling]

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54036

34. Look at.. Look at me.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54038

35. Yeah.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54291

36. Kevin. His gambling problem must've resurfaced. I'm gonna have to send him home until I can do an investigation.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54293

37. Hi, Kevin. Look, I need to talk to you about-

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54314

38. How?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54323

39. So you set him up.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54325

40. I knew it. I knew it from the beginning it was possible.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54327

41. A few years ago, when I was on the jury of the Scranton Strangler..

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54329

42. I always thought he might have been set up but I felt pressured to convict.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54331

43. Tough? I put an innocent man on death row.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54333

44. I have very fertile hair glands.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54516

45. I am so glad I got all of the dudes to do Movember. We have the dopest time back in the annex.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54517

46. We even go to lunch, pick up babes.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54519

47. Smile if you love men's prostates.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54520

48. This is fun. You know? I mean, this is fun.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54626

49. That is-- that is a loaded question.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55052

50. He said that?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55054

51. I-- I don't know if there's truth to-- to, uh, to that.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55056

52. Oh... uh...

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55058

53. I don't...

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55061

54. They don't have vaginas.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55065

55. No. They're just regular men.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55067

56. Uh... wow....

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55069

57. You know who's not gonna get to work on some exciting new startup this year? George Howard Skub, a.k.a. the alleged Scranton strangler, because he's in prison for something he may not have done.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55150

58. The Scranton strangler. George Howard Skub. Haven't I told you about the jury I was on a couple years ago?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55152

59. I--I could--I could talk about it.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55154

60. I could, sure. Have a seat. I would start at the beginning, but I think I need to go farther back.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55156

61. Here's the thing about moonlight. It's not sunlight.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55208

62. Yeah. So anyway, the entire jury wants me to vote guilty. But then I did a little research of my own, and forget everything you thought you knew about fingerprinting.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55303

63. Two dimes, seven nickels--Well, okay, no, that doesn't add up. It was one quarter and--

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55347

64. What? I was just explaining--

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55349

65. Why wouldn't it--

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55351

66. But why?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55353

67. Are you gonna kiss me?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55355

68. Hey, really nice job in that meeting in there.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Quote 56056

69. So proud of you, Hon.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Quote 56058

70. I'm just curious though, what do you have against Pete and Erin?

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Quote 56060

71. Pete's a pretty cool guy, though, and Andy was a terrible lover to Erin. He basically ignored her and left on a boat.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Quote 56062

72. Yeah, well... Not everybody has what we have.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Quote 56064

73. Mm-hmm.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Quote 56066

74. Lady...you never stop surprising me.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Quote 56107

75. You sort of deserve an apology here. Frank?

    Season 9 · Episode 14 · Quote 56568

76. Uh... it... compliment...

    Season 9 · Episode 14 · Quote 56575

77. There were two or three 'sorry's in there.

    Season 9 · Episode 14 · Quote 56577

78. You can't fire Pete. You understand why, right?

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57168

79. Oh, Andy, we had this exact same conversation when you wanted to get rid of Nellie. You can't just get rid of people over grudges.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57170

80. Alright, well look. While I have you here, this is a relationship disclosure form for Pete & Erin.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57172

81. It's just boiler plating, you don't have to read it.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57174

82. I already signed it. I was just showing you.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57176

83. Andy, it's not the original. And destroying it will not stop them from dating. Andy. It's the original.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57178

84. Hey Nellie. Mmm. I am so sick of February. It's the shortest month but it sure doesn't feel that way. We should catch up.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57210

85. Y'know I've been going over my notes from the trial...

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57212

86. ...feel like I may have glossed over a few...

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57214

87. ...minor points.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57216

88. I've been drafting a letter.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57218

89. I'm going to the prison. This afternoon. I'm gonna talk to the strangler.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57282

90. Well I just wanted to say I'm doing it.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57285

91. Hi, I'm uh, Toby Flenderson. I'm here to see George Howard Scubb.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57321

92. This is the prison. Uh, I am not going in there with expectations, per say. Uh, I will meet George Howard Scubb. I will tell him that I believe he is innocent. I would understand if he felt motivated to hug me. I would understand if a friendship began. How did, how did Bogart put it? I think this is a start of my first friendship.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Quote 57322

93. He- he can't do that. Turns out she's allowed to have feelings of sexual arousal. It doesn't become a violation until she physically acts on it.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Quote 57693

94. A little ironic that I'm going to be kind of a TV star, because my last Chad Flendermen novel was based on a murdered TV star. The small screen-

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Quote 57790

95. Oh, sure.

    Season 9 · Episode 19 · Quote 58049

96. Let's do it. Let's get personal.

    Season 9 · Episode 19 · Quote 58051

97. Whoa.

    Season 9 · Episode 19 · Quote 58053

98. Oh, yeah, no, it's okay. I can handle it. Um, so'

    Season 9 · Episode 19 · Quote 58055

99. [chuckles, snorts]

    Season 9 · Episode 19 · Quote 58057

100. Oh, sure, lots of times. Yeah. Wait, you and Pam aren't in couple's counseling, are you? Oh, God.

     Season 9 · Episode 19 · Quote 58059