Toby Flenderson Quotes from The Office (page 9)

Human resources, and Michael's least favorite person.

936 quotes · page 9 of 10

1. Now, we're actually a lot closer to Binghamton than you are. Kimosabe.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52306

2. I like to think Lloyd Gross is a no-nonsense guy who doesn't back down from anybody. And he calls people 'Kimosabe'.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52307

3. That's true. There's no rule. You can check the employee handbook. Oh, can I check the employee handbook Lloyd? Well, does it say anything about me choking a man with my bare hands?

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Line 52311

4. No.

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5. I've seen guys like you. Big guys who like to push the little guys around. Lloyd Gross eats bullies like you for breakfast.

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6. Hey, text from the old wife. Gonna take that.

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7. Andy, we wanted to talk to you. A lot of us are very concerned about you.

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8. I can refer you to someone to talk to.

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9. Give you a name or-

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10. Hey, Andy, Nobody's calling you crazy, Andy. We're your friends, Andy.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52705

11. Do you see David Wallace in the room right now?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Line 52713

12. Kelly Kapoor is gone. Her fiance Ravi was hired as a pediatrics professor at Miami university.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52816

13. Miami University in Ohio. On her last day, Kelly was still a little confused about it

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14. Shortly after Kelly left, Ryan quit and also moved to Ohio, for what he claimed were unrelated reasons.

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15. There's two new guys back there with me now. They're in their 20s. And we really get along.

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16. Just three single guys. Getting into trouble.

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17. Hey you wanted to see me?

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18. You can only fire Nellie for cause.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52880

19. Except you just told me you were gonna make it up. Now if she sues, I have to testify against you.

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20. Can't. I took a course at the Weintraub Memory Academy. I sat next to this woman named Beverly Brook. She had a Greek salad for lunch. See what I mean?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52884

21. This is a bloodbath. Alright, I'm calling this.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52968

22. It is enough of this. Everyone, let's go back to work.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52970

23. I w-, uh, I would love to give uh-

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53084

24. John Stamos.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53193

25. Johnny Depp.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53199

26. Sh, uh, um, I was having this separate conversation with Kevin. Uh, Johnny Depp.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53201

27. Uh-huh.

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Line 53203

28. It's an EMF hotspot.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53587

29. You think I have a machine for measuring bee hives?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Line 53591

30. Hey.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Line 54029

31. Are... are you me?

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Line 54032

32. Oh my goodness, look. Look at this.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Line 54034

33. [unintelligible mumbling]

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Line 54036

34. Look at.. Look at me.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Line 54038

35. Yeah.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54291

36. Kevin. His gambling problem must've resurfaced. I'm gonna have to send him home until I can do an investigation.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54293

37. Hi, Kevin. Look, I need to talk to you about-

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54314

38. How?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54323

39. So you set him up.

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40. I knew it. I knew it from the beginning it was possible.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54327

41. A few years ago, when I was on the jury of the Scranton Strangler..

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54329

42. I always thought he might have been set up but I felt pressured to convict.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54331

43. Tough? I put an innocent man on death row.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Line 54333

44. I have very fertile hair glands.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54516

45. I am so glad I got all of the dudes to do Movember. We have the dopest time back in the annex.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54517

46. We even go to lunch, pick up babes.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54519

47. Smile if you love men's prostates.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54520

48. This is fun. You know? I mean, this is fun.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54626

49. That is-- that is a loaded question.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55052

50. He said that?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55054

51. I-- I don't know if there's truth to-- to, uh, to that.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55056

52. Oh... uh...

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55058

53. I don't...

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54. They don't have vaginas.

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55. No. They're just regular men.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55067

56. Uh... wow....

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 55069

57. You know who's not gonna get to work on some exciting new startup this year? George Howard Skub, a.k.a. the alleged Scranton strangler, because he's in prison for something he may not have done.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55150

58. The Scranton strangler. George Howard Skub. Haven't I told you about the jury I was on a couple years ago?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55152

59. I--I could--I could talk about it.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55154

60. I could, sure. Have a seat. I would start at the beginning, but I think I need to go farther back.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55156

61. Here's the thing about moonlight. It's not sunlight.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55208

62. Yeah. So anyway, the entire jury wants me to vote guilty. But then I did a little research of my own, and forget everything you thought you knew about fingerprinting.

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55303

63. Two dimes, seven nickels--Well, okay, no, that doesn't add up. It was one quarter and--

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55347

64. What? I was just explaining--

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55349

65. Why wouldn't it--

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55351

66. But why?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55353

67. Are you gonna kiss me?

    Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55355

68. Hey, really nice job in that meeting in there.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56056

69. So proud of you, Hon.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56058

70. I'm just curious though, what do you have against Pete and Erin?

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56060

71. Pete's a pretty cool guy, though, and Andy was a terrible lover to Erin. He basically ignored her and left on a boat.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56062

72. Yeah, well... Not everybody has what we have.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56064

73. Mm-hmm.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56066

74. Lady...you never stop surprising me.

    Season 9 · Episode 12 · Line 56107

75. You sort of deserve an apology here. Frank?

    Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56568

76. Uh... it... compliment...

    Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56575

77. There were two or three 'sorry's in there.

    Season 9 · Episode 14 · Line 56577

78. You can't fire Pete. You understand why, right?

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57168

79. Oh, Andy, we had this exact same conversation when you wanted to get rid of Nellie. You can't just get rid of people over grudges.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57170

80. Alright, well look. While I have you here, this is a relationship disclosure form for Pete & Erin.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57172

81. It's just boiler plating, you don't have to read it.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57174

82. I already signed it. I was just showing you.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57176

83. Andy, it's not the original. And destroying it will not stop them from dating. Andy. It's the original.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57178

84. Hey Nellie. Mmm. I am so sick of February. It's the shortest month but it sure doesn't feel that way. We should catch up.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57210

85. Y'know I've been going over my notes from the trial...

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57212

86. ...feel like I may have glossed over a few...

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87. ...minor points.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57216

88. I've been drafting a letter.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57218

89. I'm going to the prison. This afternoon. I'm gonna talk to the strangler.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57282

90. Well I just wanted to say I'm doing it.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57285

91. Hi, I'm uh, Toby Flenderson. I'm here to see George Howard Scubb.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57321

92. This is the prison. Uh, I am not going in there with expectations, per say. Uh, I will meet George Howard Scubb. I will tell him that I believe he is innocent. I would understand if he felt motivated to hug me. I would understand if a friendship began. How did, how did Bogart put it? I think this is a start of my first friendship.

    Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57322

93. He- he can't do that. Turns out she's allowed to have feelings of sexual arousal. It doesn't become a violation until she physically acts on it.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57693

94. A little ironic that I'm going to be kind of a TV star, because my last Chad Flendermen novel was based on a murdered TV star. The small screen-

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57790

95. Oh, sure.

    Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58049

96. Let's do it. Let's get personal.

    Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58051

97. Whoa.

    Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58053

98. Oh, yeah, no, it's okay. I can handle it. Um, so'

    Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58055

99. [chuckles, snorts]

    Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58057

100. Oh, sure, lots of times. Yeah. Wait, you and Pam aren't in couple's counseling, are you? Oh, God.

     Season 9 · Episode 19 · Line 58059