Toby Flenderson Quotes from The Office (page 3)

Human resources, and Michael's least favorite person.

936 quotes · page 3 of 10

1. Michael, uh... we shouldn't be talking about this until all the decisions have been made.

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2. Jan told me just a few minutes before she told you.

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3. Well for a minute there, I saw myself selling my house, moving to Costa Rica, learning how to surf. But, Costa Rica will still be there. When I'm 65.

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4. Hey.

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5. Ah, pretty good. I finished.

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6. About seven.

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7. Well, that has wheels.

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8. Hey, this came with the Stamford book. Can you take care of it?

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9. Hey, Jim!

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10. Oh, really good.

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11. How are you? Hey. Welcome back.

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12. No, I'm sorry, it's...

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13. No, it's nothing. We'll just...

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14. So... okay.

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15. All right... sorry... sorry about that.

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16. It was just...

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17. Nothing.

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18. Um... You might want these orientation materials.

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19. I don't... I don't think we can do that.

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20. This is Toby. Hey Pam. Where are you calling from?

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21. Michael. Why's everyone locked in the conference room?

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22. Well, you're going to have to let 'em out. Or... or I will.

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23. You know they're teasing you. I mean... obviously, this is... a much nicer place than an actual prison. We get paid to be here. We go home afterwards and have social lives. We have... we have parties here. They're teasing you. To be funny.

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24. Oh, Dwight, we talked about this.

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25. Dwight, you cannot keep that here.

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26. Come on Dwight. We went over this, like for a half an hour.

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27. It's a dead animal in an office. You can't...

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28. I'm sorry.

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29. Clean it in your car.

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30. Hey Dwight. Pretty nice robe- Why?

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31. Hey Kev.

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32. Angela, what do you want me to do?

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33. Look, it's a free country. If she wants to throw a party...

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34. ...using her own money...

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35. ...then she should be allowed to.

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36. The more the merrier.

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37. Oww.

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38. That really hurt. I'm writing you up. Hey, you are not allowed to touch other employees. Am I being clear?

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39. Hey I need to talk to you right now.

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40. About you and Jan.

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41. Wish it were true, but it, it uh, seems from that photo that you took, you've entered into an intimate relationship.

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42. Michael, nine different people emailed me that photo, including my ex-wife... we don't talk now.

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43. You know, for your own protection, you should disclose the relationship to HR.

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44. All right, if you're having a relationship with your superior, you must disclose it.

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45. All right, thanks Michael.

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46. You know, I actually lived in Honolulu for a year.

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47. Yeah.

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48. At the gym.

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49. Toby! Yeah!

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50. The simple solution would be to open a window... if we had... windows that could open.

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51. Oh, this looks great. I'd, I'd love to be there, but my daughter's play is tonight. ... Damnit! You know, one of the other parents will probably videotape it.

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52. Well, it's important to support local art, you know. And what they do is not art.

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53. Here.

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54. I was...

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55. Yes.

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56. I don't know, you?

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57. I am not doing your dirty work for you.

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58. I'm... here, Jan.

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59. Well, we fired Roy, obviously. And Jim won't press charges against Roy or the company.

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60. Yeah, um, but now apparently Darryl has some issue with his...

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61. Which is where?

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62. Thanks Dwight.

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63. Can you stop...

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64. There's a bunch of people back here, maybe...

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65. Guys...

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66. I don't think Michael intended to punish me, by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But, if he did intend that? Wow. Genius.

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67. Where?

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68. Alright.

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69. No.

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70. How would we get home?

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71. Hi, Jan.

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72. Just preparing for the deposition.

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73. This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case when it inevitably goes to trial.

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74. Sure.

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75. Ok, um, one thing that you're gonna want to look out for is carpal tunnel syndrome. It's recommended that you take a ten minute break from typing every hour. For your circulation, you're gonna want to get up out of your chairs and uh, and move around about ten minutes every hour.

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76. Um, yeah. You're computer screen can be a big strain on your eyes, so uh, it's also recommended that you step away for about... about ten minutes every hour.

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77. No, no. Um, you always want to keep a sweater or cardigan of some sort, in case it gets drafty.

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78. Well, that'll work.

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79. You know, anything that warms you.

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80. Sedentary.

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81. Creed is eating an apple. I found a potato.

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82. Nice.

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83. Hey, what's going on? There's a police car in the...

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84. What's going on?

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85. I don't think laughing about it is an appropriate response.

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86. I don't think the women in this office -

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87. I was at a parent-teacher conference.

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88. Hey, uh... where'd you decide to take Karen tonight?

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89. I-I think we hang out an appropriate amount of time.

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90. Anybody need sun block? Got SPF 30.

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91. It's Beach Day...

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92. Hey, want my sun screen?

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93. Uh-huh.

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94. No, I did not violate an Indian burial ground. In fact I had some good luck recently, Alfredo's Pizza, picked my business card out of the basket, so... uh, I got a week of free pies.

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95. Yeah.

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96. Oh, Michael, you can't ask about religious beliefs...

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97. Alright, well then you can ask about religious beliefs.

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98. Hey!

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99. I'm makin' great time. Usually I have to take a bathroom break half way through a race like this, but not today.

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100. And the winner is Toby Flenderson.

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