Ryan Howard Quotes from The Office (page 3)

Temp, then VP, then temp again.

1,396 quotes · page 3 of 14

1. I think.

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2. If I had to I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I'd forget too.

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3. Creed did you organize the menu book?

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4. No, that was mandatory.

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5. People Magazine, crossword puzzle, keep or toss?

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6. It's from '99.

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7. 18 across. Mary-Kate and Ashley blank.' Michael wrote, 'Judd?'

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8. Everything seems pretty much under control.

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9. How would...

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10. Not really.

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11. No.

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12. What?

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13. What?

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14. Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.

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15. It wasn't me. Um... it wasn't me. It was not me.

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16. Hey Jim, Michael wanted me to ask you how to raise your desk chair.

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17. That's what I told him. Thanks.

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18. What's up?

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19. What?

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20. I don't know. Depends if you like a little junk in ... Umm... She's really cool.

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21. Yeah, totally.

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22. Did she say something?

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23. Do you know if she's looking for a long-term thing or if she'd be cool just hangin' out?

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24. Can you find out?

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25. How about rainbows?

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26. You know what... we could get this done a lot quicker if we formed a type of assembly line.

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27. I hooked up with her on February 13th.

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28. Soda.

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29. I can't tonight. I have plans with my friends.

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30. Cool. Cool. OK.

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31. Yeah.

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32. You're inviting Jim?

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33. Actually, I don't see myself ever getting married.

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34. I know what I said.

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35. You really think you're going to go?

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36. Nice. Send me a postcard.

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37. Jim has worked at the same place for five years. Jim eats the same ham and cheese sandwich everyday for lunch. I don't know. If I were a betting man, I'd say he will have a fun weekend in Philadelphia.

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38. Why am I next? I thought we'd go in order?

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39. Well... A lot of you know that I'm in business school. And while I'm learning a lot here, a lot, hopefully soon I'll land a challenging full-time or part-time position somewhere else.

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40. I got the stamps.

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41. The ones that say '39 cents.'

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42. I didn't think it did.

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43. Kelly's helping?

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44. Yeah, sure.

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45. Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun, and, I'm learning that fun for Kelly is... getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me.

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46. Wow.

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47. No.

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48. Uhm...

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49. Yes, I--

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50. Okay.

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51. Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

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52. Right. Okay.

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53. Um, I'm already getting the pizzas from Bernetti's, so...

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54. No! I will... go.

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55. I like extra cheese.

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56. Thank you.

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57. Who uses calling cards anymore?

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58. Someone ate three feet of that thing?

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59. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

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60. I won't.

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61. Okay, good. I think I'm gonna go.

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62. Hey. I got the information.

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63. 'The survival rate for localized melanoma is 98%.'

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64. 'There was 7,800 deaths from melanoma in 2005.'

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65. For localized melanoma, the five-year survival rate is 98%. The survival rates for regional and...'

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66. The skin is the largest organ of the body.'

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67. I go to a lot of parties.

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68. I am not giving you my keys.

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69. What's the hard way?

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70. Yeah, let's do it that way.

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71. I don't think Michael's ever done drugs. I don't know if anyone has ever offered him any.

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72. Cool. Hey, are you guys hiring?

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73. Yeah. Maybe.

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74. Thank you.

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75. Um, I don't...

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76. Um... let's um, let's keep our clothes.

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77. My voicemail's really spotty... sometimes...

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78. I know.

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79. One beer and one Seven and Seven with eight maraschino cherries, sugar on the rim, blended if you can.

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80. Yeah, I'm not a temp anymore. I got Jim's uh, old job. Which means at my 10 year high school reunion it will

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81. All right. Three pairs of pants. Three pairs of socks. Three packs of condoms.

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82. Uh, fun jeans.

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83. I don't want ketchup.

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84. Fun jeans.

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85. Fourth quarter projections for Jan?

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86. Will do.

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87. Yeah.

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88. [shakes his head]

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89. I'm pretty sure Jan said that we're not supposed to.

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90. Uh, no thanks, I'm good.

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91. Um... Yeah, absolutely.

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92. Thank you.

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93. Thanks. Um, a few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and, um, my cousin, Mufasa was um, he was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests and, um, we all... took it really hard. All of us kind of in the audience of what happened.

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94. Oh, it would probably take me like an hour and a half to tell that whole story.

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95. When I was five my mom told me that my fish went to the hospital in the toilet and it never came back so we had a funeral for it. And I remember thinking 'I'm a little too old for this.' And I was

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96. I did not know Ed Truck. So I will probably spend the day zoning out and planning my weekend. I think Ed would have wanted it that way.

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97. A dime and a nickel.

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98. But the other one is. I've heard that before.

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99. Because he's my son. The doctor is the boy's mother.

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100. He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself, and the ice melted.

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