Ryan Howard Quotes from The Office (page 14)

Temp, then VP, then temp again.

1,396 quotes · page 14 of 14

1. God. I wish Kelly were here. She always knew what to say.

   Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50729

2. You're so ignorant. You barely know what you're talking about. That is so ridiculous. You really need to read a couple books.

   Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50731

3. On my God. You're so embarrassing. My mom would say the best stuff, though.

   Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50733

4. And you know that I'm capable of this.

   Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50735

5. What did you think of the presentation?

   Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50737

6. Oh! 'Fix' means you hate it! I knew it! I need something to drink!

   Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50739

7. No, not a water. A sports drink. I hate everything in that fridge. Not red! Get me something yellow or green from a nearby store. Not red!

   Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50741

8. Hey Uncle Lucas, it's your nephew Ryan. Honestly, I could use a prescription for ritalin right now. Well, I know you did one for Aunt Carol. Oh, so it's different because it's your wife? Well, that doesn't make any sense to me.

   Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50773

9. Don't talk to me right now. I'm sorry. I- I know you're my boss, but seriously, you need to get the hell out of my face. What I don't understand is...

   Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50775

10. Sabre... It's time... to come home.

    Season 8 · Episode 17 · Line 50819

11. Thought you checker my Tumblr?

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51060

12. Well, I updated it.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 51062

13. How long do you think it's been up there, Kevin?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Line 51125

14. Hey, that's not a code name. That's just an insult.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51575

15. Yeah!

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51577

16. Hey, how about we go with Pam? Simple, easy to remember.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51580

17. Um, also, little tip, never shake the baby.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51741

18. Don't shake the baby. Um, a lot of times, parents get frustrated 'cause the baby's crying and they shake the baby. And you got to, um, you can't do that.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51743

19. Yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51745

20. Oh, my God.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51747

21. Me too.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51749

22. Kelly and I broke up and she can do whatever she wants. And her new boyfriend seems awesome, if you're into Indian people. I'm not.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51750

23. Hey, um, what's the deal with this guy? He's really into Kelly, huh?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51751

24. Maybe we weren't right together, but... it's weird. I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51753

25. I found this the other day while I was journaling and they reminded me of you.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51793

26. Yeah, the fractional ownership property. Oh, we took this one right before we got in that huge fight.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51795

27. You were being really bratty about where we would go out to dinner. But all I remember is how pretty you looked, taking those pictures of me. Anyway, if you want to order prints of your own, I can send you the link.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51797

28. I'm in love with Kelly Kapoor. And I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but I do know that right here, right now, all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with her. Again, that could change.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51798

29. Hey, I hear you been bad-mouthing me to Kelly.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51903

30. Well that's your opinion and it's her opinion, but it's not my opinion. If you have something bad to say to me, Pam, say it to my face.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51905

31. Well a lot of people would say that I'm a better match for Kelly than Ravi is.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51907

32. For Kelly?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51909

33. Kelly, I wrote you the most amazing love poem. But I can't even read it. My heart couldn't handle it.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51912

34. No. It would cause me too much pain.

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35. This poem would crush you!

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36. You see, Kelly? Our love scares them. It screws up their cookie-cutter world.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51921

37. You are toxic! You are toxic!

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51930

38. Kelly, I have a few things to say to you, so please don't interrupt.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51933

39. Well you do a lot, so just don't. Thank you. I know that I haven't always treated you the way that you, for whatever reason, feel you deserve to be treated. But I want to marry you, Kelly Kapoor. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, and probably.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51935

40. What is your problem? Hey, hey, hey, can we turn this back around quickly, please? This is very important to me.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51937

41. Can we turn this-ing thing around? Thank you.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51939

42. Thank you. Kelly, I can't promise you that we'll always stay together. I can't promise you that I'll never cheat on you. Nor should I. Modern marriages aren't built that way. Men aren't built that way. There's a very interesting article I can email to you. But I can tell you this. Even if the odds are fifty-fifty that we'll break up within the week, I wanna roll those dice. I love you, Kelly.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51941

43. Will you roll those dice with me?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51943

44. No you don't.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51945

45. No you don't.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51947

46. What?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51949

47. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51977

48. Smokey's dead.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51979

49. Smokey Robinson Pam. He died like an hour ago, I guess I'm the first to know.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51981

50. Oh you liked him? That's nice. Did you like when he changed the course of American music like two or three times? Did you like that tracks of my tears is maybe the last true love song ever written? I'm glad you liked him Jim. I am completely devastated right now.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51983

51. Huh?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51985

52. Oh God, Nellie! What wasn't his? I mean, um, 'Tracks of my Tears'?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51987

53. Um... God, so many, Nellie!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51989

54. Okay, I'm not... I'm not playing this game, Pam. Not today.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51991

55. Okay, I'm sorry I'm not a fan of Jason Mraz or the Beatles.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51993

56. That's... That's not the point!

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57. Okay, you know, you always think you have time to see these legends before they go. What was I so busy doing?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51997

58. Okay well, that's a relief!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51999

59. Yeah... Who's opening?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52004

60. Paul Anka?! How can they make the Smoke Man play with someone like that? I don't think I can see this.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52006

61. How much is parking, like 30 bucks? That's not what Smokey would have wanted. Does want.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52008

62. Don't call me a clown, Pam. You're better than that!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52010

63. Oh, this guy is having a breakdown.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52065

64. I've actually done a lot of market research and it actually turns out that southwestern Ohio is going to be the next Silicon Valley. They call it the Silicon Prairie. It's a big university town. And, uh, that's not garbage, it's out clothes.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Line 52822

65. Nice to meet you. Eat Fresh.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57750

66. Hey there, Ryan. Nice to meet you. Eat Fresh. Eat Fresh.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57752

67. I look at these actors on TV and I think: 'C'mon, I can do that.'

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57768

68. Watch this: Eat Fresh. Now what does that make you think of?

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57770

69. How? I didn't say Subway sandwiches. It's called playing the subtext.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57773

70. I actually wrote a screenplay, it's called 'The Big Piece'

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57775

71. Half biopic and half superhero movie. A mild mannered professional baseball player, Ryan Howard-

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57777

72. -hits a home run into outer space. Ball comes back with space dust on it, which transforms him into: The Big Piece.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57779

73. I actually brought a- some copies of my script if you guys wanna read it together.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57783

74. That'll pay for the exploding helicopter.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57927

75. 'Suddenly, the evil thugs break in to the stadium. The Big Piece hits baseballs at the evil thugs.'

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57929

76. Come on man, sell it!

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57931

77. Yeah, that's better. A bunch of hot women go: 'Oh yeah!'

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57934

78. 'They kiss. It is super emotional. Like in Toy Story.'

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57936

79. Keep reading then.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57939

80. Um another thing. I'm gonna need you to get me the rights to Darth Vader.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57941

81. We need Darth.

    Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57945

82. Kelly, you're here.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59719

83. Hey.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59721

84. No, this little guy is mine.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59723

85. So I was dating this girl, and one day, she went out to get a new charger for her e-cigarette. Never came back. Oldest story in the book.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59724

86. Say 'hi', Drake.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59725

87. Yeah.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59727

88. No Kelly, he's not named after a hip-hop artist from 2011. It's Drake, like a mix of Drew and Blake.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59729

89. Ravi? Ravi? Drake has a bit of a rash. And he's hot.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59762

90. I was wondering could you maybe examine him for a second?

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59764

91. Actually, could you go inside? I'm feeling a little dehydrated. I could really use a little break, have some water.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59766

92. Thank you Ravi. Thank you so much. This is great for me and for Drake. Thank you.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59769

93. He'll be fine. I let me suck on a strawberry. He's allergic but he'll get over it fast. I had to talk to you.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59771

94. I love you.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59784

95. We're gonna be together forever.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59786

96. I finally mastered commitment.

    Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59788