Oscar Martinez Quotes from The Office (page 12)

Accountant and the office's resident fact-checker.

1,490 quotes · page 12 of 15

1. Well no one won the pool. Angela wasn't due for another month.

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2. Well Kevin and I have to go, Accounting is its own little family.

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3. We all got the email, some of us are going to go visit.

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4. Guys, I don't know how many of you have seen- Gabe? Bring it in. I don't know how many of you have seen a premature baby before. It's going to be really tiny, so please don't say anything offensive.

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5. Knock, knock. Oh!

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6. We wanted to say hi to the newest little Dunder Mifflinite.

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7. Kevin!

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8. Wow, it's so... healthy.

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9. Oh yeah, I don't know if it's right, but-

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10. Again, it may not be the right size. I can return-

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11. This baby is clearly not premature. They're lying about the date it was conceived. It's very interesting. And her husband's gay. I don't even know which thread to follow.

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12. Honestly, I can return this for a larger size.

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13. The only premature baby in this room is the baby this baby ate.

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14. Angela.

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15. I knew that, I knew it.

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16. Chicken marsala.

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17. Mm-hmm.

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18. Dwight. Hey.

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19. He went to the car or something, but he'll be back.

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20. Don't you want to see the baby?

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21. I promised I wouldn't tell.

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22. Angela got pregnant before the wedding.

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23. She got pregnant before the wedding.

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24. A month. You didn't hear it from me!

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25. Angela, you look amazing.

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26. It just feels like a slap in the face.

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27. We're not questioning his reasons. I just wanna know what they are.

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28. ...Andy.

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29. Can we see that? Did you really find it?

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30. Hey, you guys want to see a picture of Gerald wearing galoshes? He refused to go out in the rain until I bought these. Now going out in the rain is all he wants to do.

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31. Hey, are your little dudes crawling yet?

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32. It's maddening!

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33. Exactly. That's just like crate training. All night long, all night long.

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34. Like her genes are so important. The world just needs more Pam/Jim DNA. Thank you, no.

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35. Un-be-liev-a-ble.

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36. Andy.

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37. Order reference number 00983-126.

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38. Jamaican, huh? I just read about the elections down there. Crazy stuff.

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39. Terrific.

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40. Good job Andy.

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41. How can we feel safe knowing that there are gangs here? We should call the police right now!

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42. Why are you fixated on this hypothetical transgendered attacker?

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43. You've gotta be kidding me.

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44. No, Kevin --

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45. With all due respect we know what we're defending against: a twelve year old female bully.

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46. You guys, we've gone over this, there is no treasure.

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47. When the team left for Tallahassee, Dwight told everyone not to touch his treasure. Obviously he wants us to obsess about it. There's nothing in there. Which is obviously what he would want us to think, making it the perfect place to hide a treasure. Oh god, I'm Wallace Shawn in The Princess Bride.

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48. I am dying to know what's in there.

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49. We knew. Ryan told us.

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50. I remember when that balloon went up there. I was still with Gil. We were so happy.

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51. Pam, hit the brakes. Stanley does not have a moustache. I misspoke. I'm not sure. I think he has one, now that- I think he has a moustache.

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52. Actually, Nellie, this monologue you're delivering is very offensive.

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53. What does that mean?

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54. She's always late, she's always rude...

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55. Yeah.

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56. Listen to this.

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57. We're in far too deep. We can't change course at this point.

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58. What I mean to say is we don't want to.

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59. Plus everyone would know who you meant.

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60. To Nellie Bertram, you are a most welcome and friendly presence at our company.

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61. Pam, on the other hand, is a most unwelcome, entitled, unfriendly presence in our company.

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62. Yeah.

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63. Time's almost up. How many are left?

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64. Nellie, does the person affected by this want us to help her in any way in particular?

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65. What is this?

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66. Oh come on, Ryan. Really? Ravi's way better.

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67. Oh, come on.

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68. Ryan, go away! She found herself a beautiful boyfriend!

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69. It says here this Smokey Robinson dead thing was a hoax. It's on CNN as of two minutes ago.

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70. What's going on?

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71. my dog Gerald is my life.

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72. This confirms three things: I'm right about the senator, I still got it, and poor Angela.

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73. I stumbled into a very dramatic situation. Angelas husband just hit on me!

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74. I know!

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75. We were talking about animals, he gives me his cell phone number. He was just dying for me to have it.

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76. Well, if you would have seen the look he gave me, he wanted to run more than just my vote.

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77. So?

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78. This is interesting.

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79. He does not think Jim's gay. A gay man would not leave the house wearing those shoes.

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80. sorry about what? There's nothing to be sorry about here.

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81. No. I'm certainly not disappointed that Angelas husband was not hitting on me. I'd have to be a monster to root for that. A lonely, aging monster.

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82. Nice to see you again, it was lovely!

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83. okay

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84. why does this always happen to me? Ahh! I just feel so bad for Angela

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85. Why did Binghamton close?

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86. Hello. My name's Oscar. I'm an accountant in Scranton, Pennsylvania and I'm gay. And I'm here to tell you that yes- it does get better. When I was younger, um-

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87. No, it's just a way to tell young people, no matter how hard it gets for them, there's a brighter future ahead.

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88. No matter how hard it gets for you, eh- Kelly, seriously, I-

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89. Do you not own a mirror?

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90. Okay, as you can see, I now have a cool job at a dynamic workplace. Being gay is a celebration of life, it's a simple-

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91. It's not misleading.

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92. In any case, it gets better. Maybe- maybe not much better... but better.

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93. What?

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94. David Wallace hasn't worked here in years.

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95. Senator Lipton. Hey, how are you?

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96. Um, well, uh, the issue that I- that concerned me...

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97. That piece doesn't go there.

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98. No, I'm a dog person.

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99. Those guys always change back, Angela.

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100. Definitely no.

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