Oscar Martinez Quotes from The Office (page 13)

Accountant and the office's resident fact-checker.

1,490 quotes · page 13 of 15

1. But your mouth is ble'

   Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52967

2. You know what? I will take Comstock.

   Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53003

3. I'll come by after work and pick him up.

   Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53005

4. C'est la vie.

   Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53007

5. Yeah. Good news, tonight when you come over for dinner, you can play with your old buddy Comstock.

   Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 53009

6. Next question for our oldie-weds-

   Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53188

7. Pam's first celebrity crush.

   Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53192

8. Then why are we talking about her looks? Why not her credibility? Or her reliability?

   Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53219

9. I'm so sorry, Andy, but for twenty years, the most trusted man in America - Walter Cronkite.

   Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53221

10. Does Erin have any experience? Has she taken any journalism classes, maybe? Or...

    Season 9 · Episode 2 · Quote 53223

11. I'm just saying, what does it imply in this country when a white person shares an ancestor with a black person?

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Quote 53396

12. Well, if there's another explanation, I don't really see what it could possibly be. I'[gets cut by Andy barging into the convo]

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Quote 53421

13. Andy! Andy! No! I would be very polite today.

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Quote 53423

14. Your connection. To Michelle Obama has certain... negative connotations. Most likely, your family were'slave owners.

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Quote 53425

15. The difference is, Andy, that you're the only be here still benefitting from the terrible things that your ancestors did.

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Quote 53496

16. Your family's rich! I have to believe that a big part of the Bernard fortune was earned on the backs of slaves.

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Quote 53498

17. Really?

    Season 9 · Episode 3 · Quote 53500

18. What was that? That was just a normal video with you making vulgar noises.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53574

19. It stands for electromagnetic field. Generally cause by a concentration of wiring in one area Especially if they're poorly insulated. Dwight.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53589

20. No six after the eight, no....

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53675

21. Shh!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53677

22. Six.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53679

23. Hold on, Kevin, how much is 19,154 pies divided by 61 pies?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53770

24. What if it were salads?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53772

25. Dwight!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53791

26. Whoa! Whoa! Dwight!

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53840

27. What?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53858

28. I don't know what you're talking about.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53860

29. Kevin, are you trying to get me to hit you? In the face with my pie?

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53862

30. Role call.

    Season 9 · Episode 4 · Quote 53877

31. Senator Lipton, nice to see you.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54010

32. Actually I'm the electoral college.

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54014

33. I, uh, huh, just

    Season 9 · Episode 5 · Quote 54018

34. Can you guys come with me for a minute?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54171

35. I know you saw me with the Senator. I think I'm in love, possibly for the first time. So yes, Senator Lipton and I are having an affair. I hope that I can count on your sensitivity, maturity and discretion....Why?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54172

36. Kevin, listen to me. I'm in love with the Senator. And I need time to sort this out in a responsible matter so I need your help in keeping it a secret because this means the world to me. Ok?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54182

37. Can you do this, Kevin?

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54184

38. I don't know what that means. Hey, hey-

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54186

39. Perfect.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54205

40. Kevin!

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54211

41. That actually wasn't the worst cover. I'd say at least once a week, Kevin runs out of the room shouting that he has to go to the bathroom.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54245

42. That's a tough one.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54278

43. I'm in big trouble.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54285

44. [looking at folder he brought Toby]It's clearly not an accounting mistake.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54290

45. So...

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54292

46. Well, you've gotta do what you've gotta do.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54294

47. I hope that's it, Kevin.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54312

48. Guys? Excuse me. Um, a quick word, please just..

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54316

49. Oh, you're right I'm so sorry. Snack machine on me.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54318

50. Those figures I gave you? They're false.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54322

51. I was mad at Kevin, we had a fight and I acted vindictively.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54324

52. Yes, he's innocent.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54326

53. What are you talking about? I just did this now.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54328

54. Sure.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54330

55. That's gotta be tough.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54332

56. Well, I am sorry Kevin.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54416

57. No.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54421

58. You know what? I'm sorry. I overreacted. Because I'm stressed out. Why am I stressed out? Who's not stressed out? Who's not stressed out? Who-

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54424

59. U..s..a. U-

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54428

60. I have to say I'm impressed with Kevin. Uh, he showed a lot of self-control.

    Season 9 · Episode 6 · Quote 54429

61. Hi.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54522

62. More like fall cleaning.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54524

63. This doesn't... I'm sorry. Wha... what?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54526

64. I literally have nightmares in which what just happened happens. I wake up in a sweat. And then I make Angela's husband spoon me back to bed.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54528

65. Oh, I'm sure ...that's nothing.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54530

66. Angela, Blake's also a guy's name so he... may be spending his afternoons with a guy named Blake. So nothing to worry about. Huh. Blake. Who is Blake?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54532

67. I just never heard about the senator and yoga...

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54534

68. From you. I'm sure it's probably nothing. But what's with the yoga already?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54536

69. And Blake! All right Angela, calm down! We need to go check this out.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54538

70. Angela, I'll go with you.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54540

71. Angela! Angela. There.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54616

72. On the stairs. Stay calm. Stay down. Oh, so wait. Blake is a her.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54618

73. She's repositioning his hips for downward facing dog.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54620

74. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54622

75. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Shut up, hold on. Shh. Hold on. Sorry. Look.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54624

76. Just wait. Just a minute. Just watch.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54704

77. Please. It's Robert who's enjoying it.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54706

78. This could be the affair that you're scared of. Politicians are wonderful liars. You never know who they really are. But uh, he's probably not gay. He's straight. He's straight, so...

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54708

79. I don't know, Angela. I'm dehydrated. Maybe... You heard me wrong. We should just go.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54734

80. He's making a phone call.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54736

81. [phone vibrates, rings]

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54738

82. Yesterday, Angela may or may not have figured out that I'm having an affair with her husband. So I just have to wait and see. When she comes in, if she's cold and awkward and cruel to me, then great, it's business as usual.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54748

83. Good morning.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54749

84. Of course, ask me a que-- questions.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54751

85. Yes, a little bit. Yes.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54753

86. It's the stupid thermostat! That thing is a catastrophe. So I'm gonna, um, on your suggestion, get someone to fix it. I'll just go downstairs.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54755

87. No, thank you, Angela.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54757

88. She doesn't know. I shouldn't be surprised. This is a woman who married a man who is obviously a homosexual. Basically, she has her head in the sand. In a way I feel sorry for her. I guess the universe rewards true love.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54758

89. I brought you a cookie.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54894

90. I just gave her a cookie, and she called me an angel, so... yeah, we're good. Yeah. We dodged a bullet, yes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah-- Well, I gotta go now, but-- Okay, bye. Bye.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54896

91. What?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54947

92. What are you doing?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54949

93. Oh, my God! What is wrong wiht you?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54972

94. I don't know what you're talking about.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54974

95. I got it.

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 54980

96. What the hell, Dwight?

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55002

97. you are incorrigible!

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55004

98. You hired someone to hit me with a pipe!

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55006

99. What-- what I did was wrong, and I have to live with that every day. But your husband is... gay. He was gay when you married him!

    Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55008

100. Angela, until you face that, you're gonna be confused and angry for all the wrong reasons. But if you want to blame me for the whole thing, go ahead -- I won't stop you. Hit me. you have my blessing. Hit me.

     Season 9 · Episode 8 · Quote 55010